Grab a couple — just in case

“Be prepared.” That’s the motto of the Boy Scouts, and that’s your philosophy about condoms. Coincidently, you formed that philosophy on the same camping trip where you learned the motto. You still have fond memories of that weekend, when your Boy Scout troop camped next to the campground that was hosting a Girl Scout event.

You grab a couple of your favorite brand out of the glove compartment. You start to put them in your pants pocket, when you realize that these dress pants will do little to disguise the distinctive circular shape, so you slip them into your shirt pocket, instead.

As you walk to the front of the school to find Clarice, you take a look at the couples who are arriving. Now that you are here, you are actually enjoying yourself and start to identify various girls with whom you’d like to score.

You see more than one couple, walking hand-in-hand, starry-eyed, and you know that the night will not conclude without some serious fireworks for them. As you pass a car in the parking lot, you see another couple that has not even waited for the festivities to start. They are half-dressed and becoming less dressed by the minute, in the back seat of a sedan, and they are so focused on each other that you are somewhat surprised that the guy can spare a glance at you as you walk by. You wink and give him a thumbs up as you pass, which is all the encouragment he needs to get back to his date.

This is really taking you back to your high school days -- were they really just a year ago?

Seeing Clarice pulls you out of your daydreams. She smiles when she sees you, takes your hand, and you lead her into the school.

You have never been to this school, but they're all alike at some level. The dance takes place in the gymnasium, which is festivly decorated with flowers, balloons, and streamers.

"May I have this dance?" you ask, with a formal bow. Clarice laughs, and curtsies. "Charmed, dear sir... charmed."

You lead her to the dance floor and put your arm around her waist, hold her hand, and pull her to you as you begin to lead. She is a bit shy and awkward at first, telling you that she hasn't done a lot of dancing, but she gets into the rhythm pretty quickly and relaxes against you.

"I really am grateful that you brought me here," she says. "I made up my mind to have a bad time and to dislike you, but you're a hard guy to dislike."

"I knew I'd get to you," you say. "The Lutz charm is legendary -- and feared -- throughout the realm!"

Clarice laughs. "So there's a legendary charm, huh? Have other damsels succumbed to it?"

"Oh, if only you knew!" you think, but simply smile in response.

Clarise rests her head on your shoulder. As she does, she hears something crinkle in your shirt pocket. She looks down, and says, "What do you have here?" and pulls the condoms out of your pocket.

She looks at them, wide-eyed, and then looks up at you and asks, "What are you doing with these?"