Get ready for your day

If you go at it again with Vanessa, you'll be at it all day, so you pull yourself off of her and send her on her way, assuring her there will be plenty of opportunities to get together in the weeks to come.

Once she is out the door, you hit the shower and get dressed for the day. You go to the kitchen for some breakfast and find Bryan, just finishing a glass of juice.

"Hey, Bro," he says, setting the glass down. "Surprised to see Vanessa leave so early. The way she was screaming a little while ago, I figured the two of you would be shacked up all day."

"Yeah, sorry about the noise," you say, although you don't feel too guilty. Plenty of times Bryan is the one responsible for keeping you awake with the commotion coming out of his room.

Both of you turn toward the door as it opens, and you see your mom come in with a bag of groceries. She smiles when she sees the two of you.

"Just who I was looking for," she says, sweetly. "I have a chance for you to do a good deed."

You and Bryan look at each other, questioningly. "Which one of us?" you ask.

"It doesn't matter," says your mom, who has never quite been able to tell the difference between the two of you, anyway.

"I ran into Mrs. Templeton at the store. You remember her? She used to live downstairs until she broke her hip and had to move in with her family? Well, she was telling me that her granddaughter's prom is tonight, and she is all upset because her date came down with chicken pox and can't go. It would be lovely if one of you would go and be her date so she can have a good senior prom experience."

You look at Bryan, but he holds up his hands and says, "Don't look at me. I've got plans for tonight. Chet and Jenni and I are going to camp out at the beach. It's going to be a great night for looking at the stars."

You bet he'll be looking at the stars! Bryan is a frequent tag-along with the two of them, and it almost always ends up with a three-way sex session, with Bryan flat on his back, getting ridden by Jenni or drilled by Chet.

Your mom looks at you, raising her eyebrows.

"Now wait a minute, Mom! I don't want to do this! I don't even know what she looks like."

"Her grandmother says she has a wonderful personality."

Bryan bursts out laughing as you cringe. "Mom, that's code for 'Bow-Wow!' If she's hot, they tell you. If she's a troll, then she has 'a wonderful personlity.' Besides... if she was at all good looking, she'd have guys lined up to date her. I'm with Aron on this."

"Nonsense," says your mother. "Every girl dreams of going to the prom. That's where a lifetime of memories are made. Why, the two of you were conceived at my senior prom!"

"I thought you met Dad the summer after you graduated," you say.

Your mom doesn't appear to hear you, though, and plows forward.

"I told Mrs. Templeton you'd be there to pick up Clarice at 5:30. You can borrow my car. I just had it washed."

"But I don't even have time to get a tux," you protest again.

"Don't worry about a tux," she says. "Horrible waste of money, anyway. You can wear the nice suit I got you for senior pictures. You will look handsome enough."

"Especially for a troll," says Bryan. "She probably is so nearsighted that she won't be able to see you anyway."

You give a warning look to your brother, but you do have to agree with your mom that tuxes are a waste of money. You have been to four proms, and although you rented a tux for each one, the longest you kept one on was about an hour, and you ended up having to pay a damage fee in each case.

In 9th grade you went with Betsy Midhoffen, and her mom had to drive the two of you to the school. You had your hand down her pants while you were still in the backseat, and when you got out of the car, you skipped the dance and went straight to the bleachers in the football stadium and spent the rest of the night making your own special music. When you went to put your tux back on, you found that it had fallen to the ground below the bleachers and was covered in mud.

In 10th grade you went with Vanessa as your date. You and Bryan went in your mom's convertable, and neither couple got anywhere near the school. In fact, you barely got out of your driveway, when Vanessa started pulling your clothes off you as you drove. You never did recover the shirt and had to pay to have it replaced.

Your junior year you went with Pam Atherton. You actually made it to the dance and got half way through the opening dance before getting so turned on that you and Pam snuck under the table with the punch bowl and started going at it. Everything would have been fine, but Pam forgot where she was and started riding you, hitting her head on the table and causing it to collapse. You had red punch all over your clothes, and the two of you had a memorable picture that almost made it into the school yearbook.

Then there was last year -- your senior prom. Again, you and Bryan double-dated. You took Angie Myers, and he took Allysa Kellerberg. At least, that's how it started. The two of you switched dates once you got there, and neither girl knew which one of you was feeling her up. It ended with the four of you in the upstairs hallway, next to the counselor's office. Your tux ended up getting torn as you climbed over the gate they use to block off that part of the school.

But even though you don't have to worry about a tux, you still aren't too keen on this whole idea. You try another tactic. "Mom, you know how I am with girls. What will Mrs. Templeton think if her daughter ends up doing it with me?"

"I don't imagine she would have any reason to know," says your mom. "And if it concerns you so much, you might consider a date WITHOUT sex."

You and Bryan look at each other, confused. "What's the point of that?" asked Bryan, voicing your thoughts.Then, looking at you, he winked and said, "That clinches it -- she's a dog. Just keep your eyes closed and pretend it's Vanessa. No... scratch that.... pretend it's some chick who isn't screaming at the top of her lungs about how she wants you to sodomize her."

You groan, trying to come up with any other option. "What about one of my buddies? I can find someone who is **** enough that he won't care what she looks like."

"That's enough, Aron," says Mom, looking back and forth at the two of you. "Or Bryan... whichever one you are. Here is the address. Be sure you are on time and be sure to show her a good time. This is important to me. I'll find a way to pay you back."

You sink back against your chair and groan. Bryan gives you a symptathic smile and tries to cheer you up. "Remember... just 'cuz they're ugly doesn't mean they aren't a good lay. Sometimes the ugliest ones are the best in the sack -- they know they have to be, and they're willing to show their gratitude. Remember Doris Sitwell? She had a face that could frighten statues, but she was a little tornado once you got her alone. When I took her to the Halloween party and convinced her to keep her mask on, it was one of the most memorable nights of my life!"

You appreciate your brother's attempts to lighten your mood, but it's not helping much at all. You look at the clock and realize you're going to have to start getting ready pretty soon.