See if you can talk to your boss before work

You glance in the mirror one more time. Surprisingly, you've pulled this off better than expected- although that's not saying much. You're still not sure you would pass any sort of close scrutiny, and there will certainly be problems if you get dragged into a long conversation, but if you can just lean in the door of your boss's office and mumble an apology for your absence, then hack and cough a few times, you may just get away with it.

In fact, you glance at the clock, and a fresh idea pops into your head- the best idea you've had since drinking your own sperm for breakfast! You've still got about half an hour before you would normally head to work in order to arrive with the rest of the morning crowd... But you know for a fact that your boss is in his office before anyone else turns up, finishing yesterday's paperwork, writing managerial reports, or some other soul-crushing shit like that.

You hop downstairs, take a deep breath, and step outside your front door. If you walk quickly, you should be able to arrive at work with enough time to talk to your boss and make your excuses, before anyone else arrives on the scene. Arriving early might not help to sell the idea that you're ill, but you can make up something about not wanting to spread germs or cause a fuss in the workplace. It's not a flawless plan, but as far as you can tell, it's a decent one.

Even with you trying to pick up the pace, the journey feels drawn out; almost certainly it's because you're busy ruminating over all the ways this day could go tits-up, and eyeing everyone you pass from behind your sunglasses, worried that somebody suspects. You get a few heart-stopping glances, but nobody seems to care enough to really look at you, even when you absent-mindedly stumble off the pavement at one point and the breadth of your tail peeks out from under your sweatshirt for one horrible instant. You're boiling. Sweat is seeping from every part of your body that still has exposed flesh, but you can't do a thing about it. Before you know it, you've arrived, and you're actually feeling pretty bold having made it this far. You still don't know what you're actually going to say, but if it gets bad, you think you're prepared to say you'll just quit if expected to work in your condition. Either you'll call his bluff, or you won't have to come into work again. You don't have a plan-B laid out for paying the bills, but you can think of something later.

The office looks weird this early in the morning. You've seen it deserted at the end of the day a few times, but this is a different sort of atmosphere. You guess the sunlight coming in through the blinds is of a different sort of angle and intensity, too, which might account for it. At least it's cooler in here. You walk past the workstations to the end of the hall and, sure enough, you can see your boss through the window, but... Shit, he's talking to someone else. That's a fancy suit- is he from upstairs? Your boss doesn't look very confident or composed, whatever it is they're chatting about, which suits you fine. Maybe you'll catch him at a disadvantage, just as long as they don't natter too long. You don't have much time to waste before your chances of being exposed start sky-rocketing.

But no! You're only peering in a few moments before the man in the suit turns, and you back up from the door. Shit! Did he see you? No, no- it looks like he's leaving... You just loiter a few feet away, like you're waiting to talk to your boss, and hope he doesn't pay you any mind. Stare right past him, through the window, and then start walking as soon as he shuts the door. Your heart lurches as he walks towards you... And right past you. You think you've gotten away with it, and then you feel... The tip of something flexible and firm teasing against your sweatpants, sliding up your inner thigh, just for a second! And then a faint 'hiss' from behind, that worms its way into your head, inexplicably coiling into a word that bubbles up from the deep, primitive parts of your mind; your 'reptilian' brain, one might say:

"Sssurprissse..!"

You freeze up, and a shiver of electric excitement spreads from your nethers right through the rest of your body- your tail almost springs out of your clothing right then and there, and you have to grip it to your belly with your hands before it will settle down. You turn, to see... But no... He's already gone?! How the hell did he manage that? You take a few deep breaths to try and get yourself under control (the last thing you need is a boner at a time like this), before meekly knocking on the door and opening it, placing one awkward foot inside the office, and faking a cough to break the ice.

"(Ah-khuhnth)... Ah, th-thir? You wanted to thee me?"

Far from the interrogation you were expecting when you walked in today, your boss practically shrinks back in his chair when he hears you. He looks into your sunglasses for a moment, and quickly looks down again at a notepad on his desk- which as far as you can tell is blank. You notice his hand was hovering over the phone before you startled him, but now he reaches for a pen and begins to scribble something down, as if deliberately avoiding eye contact.

"No, not- well, yes, I did, but uh... You shouldn't be here, really, you should be at home. Did you not get my message?"

You're not sure whether this is some sort of specialised sense you hadn't noticed yet, or whether he's just that bad of a liar, but you pick up on something in his body language and voice that betrays the fact that he jumped the gun with that last statement, and is already regretting it. Perhaps because you're obliged to answer him.

"Well, ah... No, thir." He sits up again, and (you think) looks just past your head rather than directly at you - something you've heard of stage actors doing when they have trouble delivering their lines - with an expression of surprise that is not at all convincing. Then he laughs, in much the same way.

"Oh! Oh, of course, I didn't make the call yet! Sorry you had to come in today for... For nothing, but you're on, uh... Paid leave. Starting today."

You raise the curve of thicker scales where one of your eyebrows used to be. "Paid leaf? For, um, how long?"

"H-How long? Two we- uh, no, months- three... Just a moment..." He frowns and scans the notes... That he was just writing. "Well, ah... In-indefinite leave. Just for the foreseeable future, of course. Don't worry about a thing, we'll... Call you when things change- or that is, if you're feeling, uh... Well, don't call us, we'll call you, in any case."

You can hardly believe what you're hearing, but your mood is lifted already. He continues: "Anyway, I'm fairly busy, and I'm sure you're very busy with... Well, just keep up the good- I mean- take your time, and I hope you get better soon. Bye."

You gently shut the door and wander off, stunned but smiling. The journey home seems to take no time at all, and you don't even feel that worried about being looked at by passers-by. You stop only once, to stare down at the pattern on a manhole cover that now seems to you to contains some hidden meaning. Four triangles, surrounding a circle, pointed outwards. That's all- then you're off again.

Only when you're walking up the drive and fumbling for your keys do you realise that, while you were still processing the surreal chat with your boss, you forgot to mind what your tail was doing. You walked all the way home with it poking out from under your coat, proudly on display for the world to see, without so much as a comment or pointed finger. You look around at the people walking by, and listen to the rumble of cars and the tweets of birds. No sirens closing in, no phone cameras peeking out from behind any walls, no... Nothing. The world as you know it is not coming to an end.

You unlock the front door, calmly brush your walking boots on the doormat, and step inside, locking the door again behind you.