A nine-months-along Bernie

"You two took such good care of me," Lil told Gary. She cuddled the blanket-wrapped infant to her leaking breast.

Bernie smiled from a chair by Lil's bed, her belly showing a ninth-month bulge of pregnancy. "Gary did most of the footwork, though," she said.

"So are you going to tell me?" Gary asked Bernie.

Bernie shook her head. "Not yet."

Lil laughed. "She told me, though."

Gary shook his head. "So?" he asked his sister.

She held her hands over the baby's ears and pouted her lips out. "Kiss my ass," she told Gary.

Gary's eyes went from Lil to Bernie and back.

"She doesn't mean literally," Bernie said. "Sorry." She laughed.

Gary swayed on his feet, the combination of fatigue and the aftermath of his ejaculation into Peter's mouth hitting him.

"You better sit down," Bernie said.

"Or even better, come lie down and meet our baby," Lil said.

Gary kicked off his shoes and lay down beside Lil and the new baby. His vision swam with fatigue. The heavy little head was lovely, the tiny nose and mouth.

"Beautiful," he said. "What's the name?"

Lil said, "Well, I was kind of thinking Gerald Henry Menard Junior?"

Gary shook his head, his mouth open in disbelief. "No. No way." His sister might as well have written a scarlet letter on the kid's forehead. "Lil?"

"Psych! It's a girl," Lil said. "I didn't think you could tell, all wrapped up in a diaper and a blanket." She grinned. "I dunno yet, I had a couple of names picked out but I don't know if they're right for her, you know?"

Gary yawned. "Oh yeah. I did know it was a girl."

"You're more out of it than me," Lil said. "I think you can sleep here if you like."

"Okay," Gary said. He blinked and looked at Bernie. "I still want to know. You know, whose?"

"I know," Bernie said, cradling her belly, great with child. "Soon."

"I still want to be the dad, whichever," Gary said.

"What, one isn't enough?" Lil said. Her brother was going down as the father of record on Baby Girl Menard's birth certificate.

But Gary had fallen asleep.

When he woke, he found himself tucked under the light coverlet of the hospital bed, beside Lil. A nurse or someone was changing Baby Girl Menard's diaper off to the side.

"Where's Bernie?" Gary asked.

"She got a big contraction. Her water broke," Lil said. "Pow, pow, it's gonna be all over for both of us today. Or by tomorrow I guess."

Gary sat up. "I gotta..." he said. Lil cut him off.

"Lie down. It's gonna be hours," Lil said. "You know, even if it's fast, it'll be at least a couple. But Bernie said I could tell you."

Gary's eyes opened wide. "Yeah?"

"Yup," Lil said.

"So was it me or Dad?" Gary asked.