Ask him his secret.

You walk right up to him. "Okay," you say, "how do you do it?"

He looks up like he has no idea, and indeed he pretends so. "What?" He makes no effort at all to hide his sarcasm. One of his girls glares at you, as if angry at your flippant introduction. You stare at her, too, momentarily, although not at her eyes...

"The ladies, man. What's the secret?"
"King What" whispers into the ear of one of his girls. She turns to look at you and starts giggling. What the hell was that about? He turns back to you and says with a smirk, "Magic."
"Rrrrright..."
"Right," he shoots back, smugly. His terse replies are dismaying. Hopefully no one in the room is watching you be made a fool of.
And as if on cue, nearly every person in the room turns and looks in your direction. What the hell is going on here?
"They just wanna see the magic," he tells you.

Suddenly, a maddening itch occupies the area around your <i>asshole</i>. Your body twists and flexes in reaction, as if somehow you might appease that vexation with the rubbing of your butt cheeks. Of course not.

All eyes are on you as you squirm, trying desperately to resist the need to scratch. Shit, social occasions be damned! You tuck your hand between your cheeks and scratch irreverently into the crack of your ass. A very loud sigh of relief escapes your lips, which is followed by very loud, roaring laughter. Yes, you're the jester in this king's court. You can't even think of how exactly it happened.

Thankfully, the room's attention disipates, and the partygoers resume their activities and conversations. Meanwhile, the king and his harem smile mockingly at you.

"Magic," he says once more. You've had enough. Without a word, you turn to go. King What shouts as you depart, "Hey, hey buddy! You need a pick up line? Try 'abracadabra!' " The harem bursts into laughter as you clear out of there.

Outside, the upstairs party is just as you had left it, although Diane is nowhere to be seen.