Tacky Stop

“My name is Kim Possible!” she warns Veronica as she wrenches the clipboard from her. “And this cosplay is for a limited time! You understand?!”

“Wear the ears!” Veronica pleaded.

“I am wearing ears,” she said, handing the clipboard to Barkin.

“Those are only earrings in the shape of ears!” Veronica whined. The gold jewelry extended from below her earlobes to just above the top of her ears.

“The only things not tacky, Miss Possible,” Barkin commented, teacherly.

“Yes, fishnet stockings are tacky, aren’t they. Seams down the rear?” She lifted a knee and, slowly, straightened it, stretching her lovely legs and pointing her heeled toes. “Who wears things which emphasize every contour of a woman’s silky, waxed, shapely legs.” With that, she raised her leg even higher. “You look old enough to understand my Rockettes reference, Mr. Barkin.” Her insole closed his open mouth, then the side of her foot nudged his head around, towards the door. “Good-bye, Mr. Barkin. See you in school.”

“Wha, what?” the man said, coming back to his normal senses outside. “The school? The Dress Code does not allow -” Slam! The door muffled whatever he was saying.

“Aw, Kim! I thought I was going to be the only one who did the Veronica Factor sort of It!”

“These fishnets are telling me how much of a Jessica-toon I am, too,” Kim frowned over what she had just done. “Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is for a normal girl to stand on cords? I do, but I’m not. I’m a little toony.”

“You must be, young lady,” Dad Possible growled. “ ‘Toon Logic’! Is that what you told your mother was the reason you agreed to be dressed like that?!”

“Shego, Dr. J!” Ron came out. “Hego, Mego, Wego - Fearless Ferret! White Stripe, uh…. You ever see Doctor Betty of Global Justice!? They all wear things that give them Tactical Advantage! Kim’s is like a superheroine’s. She’s dressed like Zatanna Zatara - Only better!!”

Kim crossed her arms, unimpressed. “I thought I was a female Roger Rabbit?”

“Roger is topless! We have to make the reference in a different way!”

“Topless!?! Now listen to me, Kimberly, no daughter of mine is going to be topless!” Jim Possible glared down at the quite low décolletage of Kim’s bunnygirl outfit. That her breasts were pushed up and pushed in didn’t ease his moral judgment of the attire.

“I am not going to go topless, Dad.” But she did try to adjust the way her boobs were being shaped by the one piece. “Though that might be less annoying. Even being part-toon, I’d rather wear something comfortable.”

“Kimberly! Don’t do that in public!” He looked around for his sons. “Or in the house.”

“You know what Kim’s really dressed as!?” Tim’s voice (or was it Jim’s) said. “The white rabbit in “Alice in Wonderland”!”

“And why not!” the other Tweeb said. “She’s going down on Veronica’s hole!”

“They’re spying on us!”

“They’ve got a lot to spy on, don’t they, young, former lady!”

“Aw, come on! Veronica wants some of the attention! Give her some love!”