Colleen tells all

Jim waited till Colleen spoke again.

“Jim I don’t have all that good a reputation…men think I’m cheap” she gulped and went on, “One of those girls I was with at the club…I had sex with her brother…I had sex with her boyfriend a few weeks ago…she came in while we were doing it. They broke up”

Jim nodded and squeezed her hand as Colleen continued “but that’s not the worst of it. Last Tuesday I went to their house, the three of them were there, the brother and sister and the brothers girlfriend. They made me have sex with them all. I felt so dirty so horrid but I liked it too. I don’t understand it. Yesterday I wanted to come and talk to you but there was that nurse there and so I went home. On my way home Gary rang me and asked me over to their house again and I went and we had some sort of orgy like in a porno film; it was gross and disgusting but again I liked it. I feel sort of addicted to it”

She fell silent as she relived last night in her mind thinking how Gary and Lil picked her up from her house and they went round to Bernie’s before going clubbing for a while. She remembered coming back to Gary's place after the club feeling warm and content- it had till then been a good night- almost the sort of friendly chat that she had seen between Jim and Davies friends on Sunday evening a week ago.

She gulped again bit her tongue and spoke “We got home to their house and had a drink or two then Bernie and Lil did some sort of combined strip act…that made me all hot” She remembered the clothes they wore- the same clothes from the boutique that they had worn on Wednesday night. She thought then she would like some too…perhaps she might even find some man who liked her for herself and she would wear them for him and him alone.

“I’m sorry l like sex but …I want it with someone I love and who loves me” she sniffed wiped her eyes and resumed “Lil knelt down and began licking Bernie out. After a few moments she stopped took me by the hand led me to Bernie and the two got me to kneel and lick Bernie out myself. While I was doing this Lil and Gary got my skirt and panties down to my knees then I went on all fours and kicked the skirt and panties off and …Gary took me from behind. I was so upset then I was bawling but I wanted it to go on and never stop. I felt like they totally controlled me and I wanted them to."

She stared at Jim who sat stock still on the bed. “Colleen he said why are you telling me all this?”

“I thought you could help but perhaps you don’t want to…I’ve made such a mess of things. I feel evil, worthless, but I liked it at the time. Well I guess you heard most of it. Thanks for listening to me Perhaps I should see a priest. I went to mass today but still feel bad” She stood up.

“Sit down please Colleen. How can I help you?”

“Well I want to stop all this it makes me feel dirty but I do like sex. I guess I need to be more controlled. How do I control myself?”

“Only you can answer that but maybe its like any addiction. Do you know the AA plan? Perhaps you can apply it to yourself. Maybe you’ve started now by seeking God, its almost the first step. But don’t think about sex, think about something else instead.”

“Get real Jim how can that work. We all got urges. I guess you're not that pure yourself.”

Jim blushed a deep red.

“Thought so” Colleen said more brightly “so when did you do it last?”

Jim blushed more and muttered “Um never. Its not right well I don’t think it is anyway”.

“You mean you’re a virgin?” Colleen’s tone showed she could hardly believe him.

“Yes I am” he said almost defiantly.

“And here am I talking about sex to you well you wouldn’t understand anyway.” Once more Colleen felt angry, she had told this holier than thou wimp so much. Wanting to hurt Jim she said “you’re not man enough to have a woman. I know now why that girl you like dropped you. Best thing in having a boyfriend is fucking him.” She used the coarse word knowing it would annoy Jim.

Hearing him gasp she turned and was instantly sorry for Jim had his head in his hands “Maybe you’re right Colleen but I never believed sex before marriage was right. Perhaps I’m just too old fashioned. But try that AA method I think it might work”

“Jim you’re sweet you’re thinking of me even after I went out to hurt you. I’m sorry I think I'd better go now”

Before Jim could say something she was gone.