Special delivery

"You're not!" exclaimed John as he was wheeled out into the street, totally naked save for the cage his erect penis was trapped in.

A woman pushing a baby carriage promptly stopped and stared, putting her hands over her child's eyes. Several passers-by gaped, then moved on quickly. A high-school boy took a picture with his camera.

John addressed the woman, who was busily opening the back of a van. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I have to put you in the van to make the delivery; it's too far to walk." She unceremoniously hoisted the dolly into the back of the van, making John's balls bounce. She looked at the small group of onlookers. "Show's over, girls." The van's door closed.

After a ten-minute drive the van pulled up in the delivery zone of a posh apartment building. John moaned. She could have at least gone to the side door.

When he was taken out of the van, the doorman nodded, "Good morning, Sir. Is Miss Sarah expecting you?"

"Uh..."

"Please wait here; I'll call her."

John was extremely aware of the people walking by and staring as the doorman took out a cell phone.

"Hello, Miss Sarah. This is Harold at the door; your gentleman friend is here; shall I send him up? ... Yes, Ma'am. ... Yes, Ma'am; as you wish."

"She says she's not ready yet and could you wait here for half an hour or so?"

"What!?"

"Sorry Sir, just a bit of doorman's humour. You can go up now."

John was wheeled in and into the elevator and his porter pushed the button marked "35". Just as the doors were closing a forty-something woman got in with a six-year-old girl in tow. The older woman pushed button "9" and promptly started examining the crack between the doors. The little girl looked around.

"Mommy, why has that man got his winky in a cage?"

"It probably bites, dear. More people should keep their pets in cages when taking them places. Now don't stare, it's impolite."

The child stared. John wished he could curl up and die; the only consolation was that there were only two stops.

At the ninth floor, the door opened and the woman stepped out without looking. "Come along, Sylvia."

Sylvia looked at John and the delivery girl. Then she ran off the elevator, pausing only to run her hand up the row of buttons, lighting every one of them.

The elevator stopped at every floor, revealing John to a couple dozen people waiting for down elevators along the way. The worst part for him was that his soldier refused to do anything but stand at attention, especially when the two twenty-year olds in the bikinis looked in and started giggling.

John asked the delivery girl, "Doesn't any of this bother you?"

"I've made stranger deliveries," was her only reply.