Mr. Newman Freaks Out

"No! No! NO!" Mr. Newman suddenly started yelling. Sam broke his pose to look and find the counselor stomping towards him. "You have to be STILL!" he said. "If you get a boner in the middle of the session, it may interfere with some of the portraits!"

"Well... I..." Sam stammered, not sure what to say. "I couldn't help it. I tried to stay as still as I could."

"Right, right," the counselor said. "I should have known a new camper wouldn't have been able to handle this. The question is, what are we going to do now? If you can't find a way to make yourself flaccid, this whole class will have been for nothing."

"I could just..." Sam knew he probably shouldn't say the M-word or the J-word, but it seemed like the quickest way to set things right.

"Don't even THINK about it!" Mr. Newman barked back. "I read your file, Archer. You cannot just 'take care of it.'" Sam lowered his leg and stepped back in response to the irritated anger in his voice. Meanwhile, Mr. Newman turned to the class.

"Can somebody throw the new guy a quickie so we can get on with class?" More than half of the class, men and women, raised their hands.