On a 7-9, Bernie will let you do it if you turn her on.

"Let me kiss your ass," you tell Bernie.

She sniffs. "That's kind of a cold way of asking."

You frown. "Well, we don't have a romance. Do we?" you say.

"No-oo," Bernie said. She looks displeased. "But it was really special to me, I mean me and Habiba. It was always romantic for us."

"Okay, yeah," you say. "I get it." You sigh and nod. "It still needs to be special."

Bernie gives you a hug. "Yeah," she says. "If we were doing, I don't know, tickling or something, sure, whatever, but this is kinda special."

"Yeah," you say. "You and Bibi."

Bernie nods. "You and Charlotte, even."

"Yeah."

You look each other in the face, and both start the same sentence. "Are you...?"

Crying? is the word unspoken.

Bernie says, "You've been missing her."

"Yeah. But I'm gonna see her soon," you say. "How about you?"

"I miss her like crazy," Bernie says. "But not all the time, like it used to be. But there's somebody new in my life."

"What's her name?" you ask. You hope Bernie hasn't caught onto another crazy drama chick.

Bernie swallows. "His name. Gary Menard. Blond. Tall, sorta. Mom likes him. He's sweet."

"I'm glad," you tell her. "If he's mean to you, you just tell me and I'll let the air out of his tires."

Bernie laughs. "Okay."

You stroke Bernie's neck and work your fingers into her hair. "So. Tell me how to ask."

Bernie buries her head in your shoulder. "Tell me I'm sexy. I have a pretty butt. It turns you on."

You take a deep breath and try and recall your sweet-talking practice.

"Naomi Bernice Bernstein," you say, slowly tasting each part of her name. "You are so sexy you can't help it. You wear sexy every time you move. Every time you turn your back, you turn to the side, there it is, those beautiful curves, so pretty, and my eyes are right there."

Bernie nuzzles your neck. "Tell me what you want to do, how much you want it," she prompts.

"I've been waiting so long for you," you say. "For you to tell me it's time, for you to tell me, 'Kiss me there!' and turn away and spread yourself. I want to kiss you right there, between your cheeks, right there on that little ring, that little rosebud. I want to feel it pulse, to put my tongue on it and feel those twitches of pleasure. I want it so bad," you say.

"Yes," Bernie sighs. "Yes."

"I want that big beautiful ass of yours, and I want it now," you say.

"Yes," Bernie says.

She pops off one strap of her overall shorts. You do the other one and it falls to the floor. She tugs at your belt. Soon the both of you are naked and you're sporting a bouncing little chub of a half-erection.