Carrie Underwood

Carrie Underwood saw the invitation to join the contest as one of the nominated singers and immediately discarded the whole idea.

As the heavy favorite for Favorite Female Country Artist, after all, she seemed like such a lock to win that she didn't think whoring herself out for a few extra votes was going to make a difference, and she certainly wasn't going to throw away her marriage for one or two nights of hooking up with random fans.

But she also knew that her best friend Miranda Lambert was hot on her heels, and also newly single thanks to her divorce from Blake Shelton, so Carrie figured Miranda would probably be down to do whatever she had to do.

So Carrie decided to try and find the most innocent-looking contest participant she could find, and settled on you.

Little does she know, though, that your crush on her is so strong that if she ever came within 500 feet of you, you would stop at nothing to get her in bed with you.

So when Carrie shoots you an e-mail that she was going to be around your neck of the woods soon and wanted to meet with you to discuss you casting a vote for you, the wheels inside your head were already spinning.