Check out the kitchen

I told Brock I'd be back to drink birthday shots with him and went to see what was going on in the kitchen. As is true of any sensible party, the kitchen was the most noisy, crowded, and lively room in the house. I squeezed through a curtain of boobs, butts, and balls, trying my best to maintain my balance on the floor tiles, which were already slippery with semen. I spotted Jackson in the far corner waving at me and started working my way through towards him. On the way there, I felt my dick, which had started to become semi-flaccid because I was concentrating on not slipping, slap someone in the face. I looked down to discover Rebecca, my oldest childhood friend and soulmate, staring up at me in mock protest.
"And just who do you think you are, Sir, that you think you can just walk past me and bludgeon me with that sorry excuse for a hard-on!?" she said and gave my cock a good, hard slap that sent it on a full rotation.
"Silence, woman! My manhood slaps whomever it wants, whenever it wants!" I intoned, grabbed my dick and gave her a few extra slaps on both cheeks. She giggled gleefully and pulled me down into a warm hug.
"Oh hey, Jon, I want you to meet Natalie. She's a friend of Maya's and she is just the cutest!" I looked at the girl Becca had been talking to before my dick had interrupted them; "the cutest" was certainly an understatement. She was tiny and slim, with long, wavy, dark brown hair and the most exquisite face I had ever seen. Her radiant, steel-blue eyes looked out over a delicate button nose that was accentuated by the most breathtaking set of dimples I had ever laid eyes on. Between her crossed legs I could see that she had opted for the completely clean-shaven look. She looked up at me and raised her elven eyebrows before allowing her mouth to break into a heart-stopping smile as she reached up and gave my dick a friendly shake.
"Nice to meet you, Jon. Maya has told me a lot about you and someone who Rebecca considers to be her best friend is definitely someone I'd like to meet."

For a moment, I was dumbstruck. I couldn't for the life of me think of a response that would not come across as douchey or lame, so I just settled for a dumb "Nice to meet you too," and a quick fondle of her small, perky breasts that were exactly the right size and shape for her small, slender frame.