A troubling dream

Dear Diary,

I write this with Cordelia laying beside me, her soft body warm against my own. I have so far resisted the urge to wake her and resume our forbidden acts. We have only a few days left together before I am off to study at Eisenheim, and her off to accompany my father. Her revelation of their hidden couplings comes with little shock to me. While I, somewhat hypocritically I must add after the masquerade, recoiled at the thought of her being used as a honey pot to attract and seduce the Americans at an embassy on another planet; she was quite excited, recalling tales of how the Texans are renowned for their vigor and size.

I also must admit that I love her deeply. Her tender kisses stand in stark contrast to how I've been treated by even the best of men on Rajah-4. I long to spend my days with her, tasting her sweet nectar and listening to the joyous sound of her mischevious giggles. How cruel this world is to deny the only two loves I've truly felt, for her and for Wayland. I cried myself to sleep in her arms last night as she embraced me, gently kissing my forehead and reassuring me that we'd see each other again. Her tender kisses quickly became passionate ones as our caring embrace became a tangle of ivory limbs; and my sobs became moans. That is the magic of my sweet sorceress. She can transmute cruel, cold lead into lustrous gold.

Enough writing for now. Sleep calls to me.

Dear diary,

I must recall a most frightening dream. In it, Cordelia and I were back at the masquerade, and instead of the soothing sounds of violins filling our ears with melodies, the sounds of sex and sodomy were our only accompaniment. I dreamt that my mother was being held down and ravished by demonic figures, their masks melding with their faces till it became one horrific visage. They had penetrated both of her intimate entrances and were savagely defiling her as my father came up behind me, his erection pressed against my tender flesh. I tried to squirm from his grip and ended up turning to face him, only his face was now that of Sir Prescott. "See to your daughter." he said, ripping my dress from me and turning me back around.

To my horror, it was not my mother I saw, but rather an image of myself. I felt him penetrate me as I was forced to watch my own shameful degradation as new demons replaced the ones that had spilled their seed inside me. Cordelia was laughing at me, pointing, as Prescott sodomized me. I looked in the mirror, and it was not my face I beheld, but rather that of Kali. It was then that the dream shifted, and I was back in my body, the devils having their way with me; their faces shifting menacingly from devils, to masks, to men. Mr. Trask was gleefully pumping into my wetness as Wayland entered me from behind. Sir Drake slid his penis into my mouth as my father sucked my tender nipples. I tried to break free, to run, but I was held by their weight. When Trask's face began to morph first into the visage of Shiva, and then my father, I screamed in terror, feeling his member, which had become a cobra, spew forth its venom-jism inside me.

I awoke with a start. Cordelia comforted me and pet my hair as I caught my breath. "Must have been quite a dream. You've been writhing around and softly moaning for some time." she said, indicating the damp spot that I had shamefully made upon the mattress. The feelings of violation gradually faded as she combed and braided my hair while I recounted the dream to her. I wondered what the dream could mean? I do hazily recall a number of men taking position between my legs that night, and my fears about my father still linger, but at the time I felt no shame.

"Why must I desire such brutish things?" I asked solemnly. She sighed, and put down the comb.

"Oh cousin, these men are simple creatures with predictable desires. It is not our place to judge them for their behavior any more than you can judge a cat for laying upon a sofa when its not allowed." she said, sliding off the bed, her nude form brilliant in the dawn's blue light.

"If only you were properly equipped, I'd not need a man at all, my love." I said, yearning for her to return to bed. She grinned her wicked grin, and I knew that I was in for it.

"Come, cousin. I've a spot of moss to show you. Its your mother's favorite area for a picnic."