An Unplanned Party

The front door swung open.

Jay stepped in, wallet already in sight on the kitchen counter. He grabbed it, turned, and froze for half a second at the sight of his daughter and son-in-law standing in the middle of the living room looking like they’d just survived a hurricane.

Claire’s blouse was buttoned wrong. Phil’s belt was still undone. Both of them were flushed, breathing a little too hard, and the air smelled unmistakably like sex.

Jay’s eyes narrowed. “…You two okay? You look like you just robbed a bank.”

Phil opened his mouth. Nothing intelligent came out.

Claire, still feeling Phil’s cum slowly sliding down her inner thigh, managed a tight smile. “Workout. We were… stretching.”

Jay stared at them for another beat, then shrugged in pure Pritchett fashion. “Whatever. Don’t pull anything. I’m too old to visit you in the hospital.” He turned for the door -

- and walked straight into Gloria.

She stood on the porch holding a Tupperware of leftover tres leches cake, eyes bright. “I forgot the cake! And also I wanted more wine.” She stepped inside, took one look at Phil and Claire, and her eyebrows slowly climbed. A slow, knowing smile spread across her face.

“Ay. I see the ‘stretching’ was very successful.”

Before anyone could recover, headlights swept the driveway again. Mitchell and Cam’s car pulled up. Cam burst through the open door a moment later, already talking.

“We left the good serving spoons and I refuse to eat leftover potato salad with a regular spoon like an animal - ”

He stopped dead. Mitchell nearly collided with his back.

The living room was now packed: Jay, Gloria, Mitchell, Cam, Phil, and Claire. The latter two still dripping, half-dressed, and visibly post-orgasm. The silence lasted exactly three seconds.

Then Cam’s eyes went wide with theatrical delight. “Oh my god. Did we just walk in on -”

Gloria laughed, rich and unashamed. “Obviously.”

Jay looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. Mitchell covered his face with both hands. “I did not need this image. I will never unsee this.”

Phil, still hard enough that the outline was obvious in his jeans, cleared his throat. “We can explain - ”

Claire, cheeks burning but eyes bright with a dangerous mix of humiliation and leftover arousal, cut him off. “No. We really can’t.”

Gloria set the cake down, cocked a hip, and looked between Phil and Claire with open interest. “You know… the kids are all gone. Jay is already traumatized. Mitchell is going to need therapy. Cam is clearly thrilled. Maybe the night doesn’t have to end just because the family showed up.”

Cam gasped in pure delight and clasped his hands. “Are we doing this? Are we actually doing a full-family after-party of the filthy variety? Because I brought wine and I am so ready.”

Mitchell made a strangled noise. Jay turned toward the door like he might simply flee the country.

Phil looked at Claire. Claire looked at Phil. Both of them were still buzzing, still wet and messy from the living-room quickie, and the sheer absurdity of the moment had somehow made everything hotter instead of killing it.

Gloria’s smile turned wicked. “So. What now, Dunphys?”