She will have Order

Thirty-two women.

Aether stood in the middle of the growing crowd on the beach and felt the number settle over him like a physical weight. His own pride, the Mondstadt arrivals, the Liyue pair, the Fontaine contingent, the Sumeru rowboat group, the Inazuman party, and Yae Miko herself — every one of them present, every one of them looking at him with varying degrees of open interest. He had no doubt the white flames and the skills he had sharpened across half of Teyvat would let him satisfy them eventually. The logistics of sequence, fairness, and simple scheduling, however, sat in his mind like an unsolvable knot.

Rosaria tried first.

She stepped forward with the same decisive energy she brought to every problem that threatened her man, already barking rough categories and tentative queues. Yanfei moved in beside her almost immediately, legal pad somehow already in hand, attempting to impose contract-like structure on the chaos: prior claim, order of arrival, documented history with the Traveler, physical stamina considerations. The two of them lasted less than ten minutes before the sheer volume of overlapping demands, polite arguments, and not-so-polite assertions of priority turned the effort into visible frustration. Rosaria’s voice grew sharper. Yanfei’s pen tapped faster. Neither could find a distribution that did not leave half the beach quietly (or loudly) dissatisfied.

Yae Miko watched the entire struggle with open, delighted amusement.

She let the helplessness ripen, fan still half-hiding her smile, until Rosaria’s shoulders had started to tense with the first real edge of despair. Only then did the kitsune step lightly into the conversation, voice mild and helpful.

(https://im.ge/i/QMnwYKa)
(artist: ACE origin)

“A simple contest, perhaps? Eight teams of four. A soaker battle on the shallows and the open sand — water guns, buckets, whatever the resort can supply. Ranking determines the order of access. First place chooses first, and so on down the list. Clean. Relatively fair. And far more entertaining than watching the two of you try to draft a treaty on the beach.”

Rosaria stared at her.

Yanfei paused, pen hovering, already running the numbers and finding no immediate objection.

Aether opened his mouth to suggest that maybe he could simply have a say in the matter.

No one was looking at him.

The women had already begun turning toward one another, calculating alliances, eyeing strengths, and quietly deciding who would make the strongest teammates. Yae’s fan fluttered once in quiet satisfaction as her suggestion took root and spread through the crowd with remarkable speed. The Passion Claimer stood in the center of it all and watched himself be discussed, divided, and scheduled like a particularly valuable piece of meat whose only role was to wait until the ranking had been settled.

Yanfei stepped into the center of the growing circle, legal pad still in hand, and raised her voice just enough to cut through the overlapping negotiations.

“Clear rules, then. Listen once.”

She ticked each point off with the same precise tone she used for contracts.

“First. Every participant receives a water-sensitive paper seal fixed above the breasts, fully visible at all times. No covering it with arms, hair, or clothing. The moment the seal is wet through, that woman is eliminated. No arguments.”

“Second. This is a friendly match. No real weapons, no Vision techniques intended to cause injury, no excessive force. Anyone who draws blood or breaks bone is disqualified on the spot and moved to the bottom of the access list.”

“Third. Hydro powers may not be used to wet the seals directly. Any other liquid — seawater, drinks, melted ice, whatever you can improvise — is acceptable. Pure Hydro application on the paper itself is forbidden.”

“Fourth. Ranking is determined by team elimination order. The first team reduced to zero active members places last. The last team with any member still dry places first. Individual survival inside a team does not change the team’s ranking.”

“Fifth. The entire island is the play area. Resort buildings, beaches, interior paths, the brewery, the roleplay district — everything is fair ground. Staff have been instructed not to interfere unless property is being damaged.”

She lowered the pad and looked around the circle of thirty-two women with calm finality.

“Questions?”

No one offered any that survived more than a second under her stare.

Yae Miko’s fan hid another small, satisfied smile. Rosaria crossed her arms and already seemed to be calculating team compositions. Aether stood slightly outside the circle, still processing the fact that his entire vacation schedule was about to be decided by a water-gun free-for-all across an entire resort island, and that every woman present appeared perfectly happy with the arrangement.

Yanfei made a final note on her pad.

“Seals will be distributed in ten minutes. Form your teams of four. We start at the top of the hour.”