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Bare feet met cool white marble.

Craig blinked.

Rose-gold clouds drifted overhead, folding and twisting like ribbons caught in a current. The air smelled of jasmine, cedar, honey, and something sweeter he couldn't identify. Warmth pressed against his skin from every direction, comforting and unsettling all at once.

He knew this place. He'd made the offering. Fruit on the shrine. A candle. A desperate prayer. And apparently that had been enough.

"Oh thank God."

The words escaped before Craig could stop them. Then he saw him.

Eros stood several paces away, bathed in molten amber light, impossibly beautiful in a way that didn't feel human. Every movement seemed deliberate. Every expression seemed crafted to draw the eye. He looked less like a person and more like a living sculpture made from desire itself.

Craig hated that the first sensation he felt wasn't anger. It was attraction. Arousal. Heat pooled low in his stomach.

His pulse quickened. His thoughts immediately became less coherent. Eros smiled.

"You sought my company once more."

"I need answers," Craig said, working hard not to become overwhelmed by the effect Eros had on him. "Do you have any idea what you've done to my life?"

A soft laugh escaped the god.

"Quite a lot, I should think."

"I'm serious!"

"So am I."

Craig inhaled sharply.

"No, listen. I got promoted at work."

"Congratulations."

"This is not something to be congratulated about!" Craig said, unsuccessfully trying to pull his eyes away from the glowing god. "All I'm doing is making coffee, ironing clothes, arranging flowers, and even dressing my boss! All while you're forcing me to wear women's clothing!"

Eros' expression shifted. Not annoyance. Not guilt. Confusion.

"Forced?"

Craig gestured at himself.

"Look at me! I'm standing here in a skirt!"

Eros finally looked him over. Really looked him over. Slowly. Thoughtfully. Craig could feel the god's eyes trace his body, a tingling sensation touching every part that Eros' eyes touched.

As though examining a work of art not yet complete.

Craig suddenly became aware of himself. The lingerie set he'd put on before he lit the candle on the shrine was gone. In its place was a tiny white skirt with gold trim, a white top that barely covered anything, and high-heeled sandals that wrapped themselves around his ankles.

Eros stepped closer. Heat radiated from his body with an intensity that should have hurt, but only further aroused. Craig's knees weakened instantly.

The god circled him. Observing. Admiring. Evaluating. A fingertip drifted near Craig's shoulder without touching. Craig's heart raced.

"Hmm."

"Wha...?" Craig managed, hardly able say anything this close to Eros.

"You are progressing beautifully."

Another step.

"I must admit that I'm pleased.," he whispered close enough that Craig could feel his breath on his earlobe, "but I see no evidence of anyone being forced."

Craig's mouth went dry. Being looked at by Eros felt dangerous. Being that close was like standing too close to a fire. The closer the god came, the harder it became to remain angry. Words scattered. Thoughts tangled. His body betrayed him with alarming enthusiasm.

Eros completed his circle, hands clasped behind his back, then took a few steps away, swaying his hips as he went.

Craig finally took a breath.

"You've accepted many of my gifts."

"Gifts?" Craig mumbled, still struggling to speak.

"I have relieved your suffering," Eros continued, unfazed. "Which each passing of a day you become closer to completion."

"Completion?" Craig took a step back to be able to think more clearly. "You made me addicted to heels! And pee sitting down!"

That actually gave Eros pause.

"Oh."

"OH?"

"I hadn't realized that alteration had fully settled," Eros smiled. "It appears your body has embraced the adjustment more readily than anticipated."

"This is insane," Craig said. "Look, I appreciate you trying to help me, but you need to stop. All these changes, the streaming, the dancing, all of it isn't going to get me a soulmate. You're making me humiliate myself in front of millions of people on the internet, but inside I'm still the same loser I was before. It's not working. Please just stop."

Eros moved away, wandering toward a marble balustrade overlooking an impossible horizon. The distance helped. Marginally. Craig, at least, found it easier to think. Easier to breathe.

"I'm losing myself."

The god grew quiet. Distant. Reflective.

"My grandfather feared mortals."

Craig frowned.

"What?"

"The humans. Their power frightened him," Eros looked toward the horizon. "Humans once possessed four arms. Four legs. Two faces. Complete beings unto themselves. And he was right to fear. They were formidable. Strong. Confident. Unified. So Zeus split them apart."

Eros made a slashing motion with one delicate hand.

"He diminished them. He made them incomplete," a sigh escaped him. "Most never recover. Most never find what was taken. They spend their lives wandering. Searching. Settling. Accepting fragments of a life, of a power that was stolen from them by a petty god."

A sadness settled into Eros' voice.

"And occasionally..." He turned back. "There are those who come very close."

Craig's chest tightened.

"You." A pause. "So near. So terribly near. And yet separated by chance. By timing. By misfortune. By the whims of fate."

Eros smiled sadly.

"My brother would delight in punishing such cruelty."

Craig frowned.

"Your brother?"

"Anteros," Eros laughed softly. "He adores vengeance when love isn't returned. But whom would he strike? There is no villain. No betrayal. No enemy. Only bad luck."

Craig looked down.

"I don't care anymore."

Eros raised an eyebrow.

"I don't. I just want my old life back. I don't want a soulmate. And I don't care if I'm unhappy. I'd rather be unhappy than..." He gestured helplessly. "...this."

Eros stared at him. Really stared. Then Craig felt it. Something brushing against his thoughts. Warm. Gentle. Searching. Like fingers turning pages. Eros was looking through him. Examining his mind. Examining his desires. Examining the pieces Craig himself didn't want to acknowledge.

The god smiled and took two steps toward him. Instantly Craig's pulse accelerated. Damn him.

"Ah."

"What?"

"I can feel it. Your loneliness. You have begun to catch glimpses of another life, one that is no longer driven by despair and desperation."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Eros stepped forward again.

Closer.

Close enough that Craig could smell honey and jasmine again.

"It is terrifying to take off a cloak that has kept you warm for so long," Eros continued. "But your cloak was poison. Draped in seclusion and desolation you were. And now you are free. Exposed. Vulnerable. Others have begun to see you, truly see you, and the value of your worth is being measured."

Eros pursed his lips.

"What you fear is that you will be seen as lacking."

"What I fear is that I'm losing my masculinity!"

"Perhaps," Eros continued, brushing off the comment, "but only on the surface. Deep below, in the waters that govern your soul, it is through the eyes of others that you judge yourself. But I am weaving you a new pattern for your destiny, one that will allow you freedom from that judgement, one that will allow you to find worth in the eyes of one, not all. And the thread has already been woven."

"But..."

"There is no returning to the old way. The old way no longer exists. Perhaps you require encouragement."

Craig didn't like that expression. Not one bit.

"Encouragement? I need pants and sneakers, not encouragement."

"And a gift."

"No. No more gifts."

"Mortals always enjoy my gifts."

"I don't want gifts."

"I believe you'll appreciate this one."

Craig's stomach sank. Eros simply smiled. Infuriatingly. Seductively. Mysteriously.

"Eros."

The god's expression softened.

"It is time for you to wake."

"Wait."

"I still have questions."

"You always will."

"Eros."

The god began walking away.

"Oh, and Craig?"

"What?"

Eros glanced back over his shoulder.

"I'm growing weary of fruit."

Craig blinked.

"What?"

"If you wish another audience... Become more creative."

Then Eros blew him a kiss.

Again.

And once again it struck Craig like a physical force, heat surging through his body as the marble vanished beneath his feet and the rose-gold realm dissolved around him.

His last coherent thought before waking was simple.

What in the hell do you offer a Greek god who is bored with bananas?