Tell her I understand.

“You don’t need to say anymore. I …ah, understand what you’re trying to say. Believe me, I understand. I am a guy, and guys tend to…you know…more than women.” What the hell is wrong with me! I am beginning to sound like some awkward teenager.

Sara looks up at me, sees my red face, and says with some surprise in her voice, “Whisper, I never thought that I could say anything that could fluster you. When I told you that a city council member might try to kill me you didn’t even bat an eye, but I tell you I was masturbating in the shower and you blush like a schoolgirl.”

The red glow is slowly leaving her face and seems to be seeping into mine. She smiles at me; a look that shows me what beauty is, even as it makes me self-conscious.

I try to compose myself. “I’ve gotten a lot of confessions in my time, but I’ve never gotten one like that.”

Sara responds, “I felt that you were uncomfortable because you got me out of the shower for what you thought was no reason. I believed that you deserved the truth, no matter what the embarrassment to me. Although, I think that you might be more embarrassed over the situation than I am.” Sara walks over to where I am sitting and kneels down to be at eyelevel. “How is that possible? How can it be that a man, who I’ve been told has faced danger and **** and suffering, can be so uncomfortable at the thought of a woman…wanting to feel like a woman?”

Any composure I once had has been torn away. In this instant I realize that she has me. Whether by design or through chance, she found a crack in my armor, a crack that wasn’t even there until I met her, and she has caressed it open wide. I knew that I loved her, but now I am at her mercy. The chains she wrapped around my heart have now been supplemented by a cage.

I try to use anger to bring myself back into focus, but it is no use, she has dulled my weapons. I try to use reason, but it has been swept away. I even try to use fear, but the only thing I now fear is disappointing her.

Sara sees the turmoil on my face and runs her hand across the side of my head, making a little curl at the ear. “What’s wrong Whisper? Please tell me.”