Flirt

The bar occupied the basement level beneath the restaurant. Wood-paneled walls. Neon beer signs. A single tv playing the Sox game with no sound.

Three old men occupied one corner, drinking in complete silence. Behind the bar stood a woman who immediately made me forget everything else.

Tall. Blonde. Maybe twenty-five. Maybe younger. She wore a black tank top that hugged her considerable chest and her hair was pulled into a ponytail that swung when she moved.

She looked up from stacking glasses.

“I’d asked what could I get you, but I’m going to need some identification first. No way you’re 21.”

I walked up to the bar. I pulled my pockets inside out. No wallet. No money. No plan.

I leaned against the bar anyway.

“I’m old enough. I just forgot my wallet back at camp.”

She her blue eyes didn’t believe my first lie, but she asked, “Camp Orgee?”

“That obvious?”

“We get a lot of counselors,” She smiled. “I’ve never seen you before.”

“Just got in today.”

“Ah,” She nodded knowingly, “The annual invasion.”

I liked her smile. It felt dangerous. The kind that encouraged bad decisions.

“So what happens now?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I forgot my money.”

“Then I guess you sit there and look thirsty.”

I placed a hand dramatically over my heart.

“Cold. I’ll work for a drink. I’m not afraid of a little sweat.”

Before she could reply the front door opened. Six women exploded into the bar. Matching T-shirts. Plastic tiaras. One wore a sash.

The small bar filled with noise, energy, chaos as they scrambled into a booth. The quiet atmosphere instantly died.

The bartender sighed, “Bachelorette party,” then looked at me with a mischievous grin. “Time to do a little hard work. You can be their server.”

“Oh no,” I said pretending like it was an awful idea, even though drunk women were exactly who I wanted to be around.

With my most charming smile, I walked over to the table of chatting women. None rated over a 6. But to a desperate virgin, they were all fuckable.

“Evening ladies. Can I offer you some drinks?”

Their 12 eyes looked up at me and drank me in. I’d never felt more like a piece of meat. I loved it.

“What do you recommend for a good time?”

I didn’t know much about alcohol except for songs on the radio I would listen to quietly at night in my room alone. I said, “I heard tequila makes your clothes fall off.”

They howled with laughter, literally whoo’ing. These women didn’t need more alcohol; they were already drunk.

I walked back over to the tall blonde. “Six tequila shots.”

“Only six?” She said crossing her arm and propping up her big breasts.

“Twelve,” I said, doubling their order. Time to get them even drunker.

“Anything else?”

“How about two more? These ladies would love to buy me and you a drink.” How much could I get away with in the real world before getting the rod?

She smirked, and poured the shots in front of me. She handed me a shot and a wedge of lime. I held it nervously, no clue what to do next.

She rolled her eyes, “No way you’re 21.”

She grabbed my hand and pulled it to her mouth. She licked a wet spot on it. I wanted that tongue all over my body. She poured salt on the wet spot.

“You lick the salt, drink the tequila then suck the lime.”

She licked salt off her own hand, threw back the shot of tequila like it was nothing then sucked on the wedge of lime. Never breaking eye contact. I could look into those eyes all night. I may have been the definition of naive, but I knew this woman wanted me.

“Your turn.”

I followed her instructions. I immediately started coughing with the awful taste of the tequila. I couldn’t even suck the sour lime. She cracked up with laughter. “Those women are going to eat you alive.”

She wasn’t wrong. Those women saw a naive sheltered naive Midwest boy out in the world for the first time. They took full advantage.

Those women got me drunk. Pinched my ass. Asked to take shots off my abs. Literally squeezed my dick through my shorts. So drunk I don’t remember a single thing we spoke about.

It became a night you remembered in flashes.

The tall smiling blonde in the tank top saying, “Go outside and puke. You need to purge. I won’t judge.”

Stumbling across the gravel parking lot to the edge of the lake. Emptiness my stomach. Whipping out my dick and cleaning the dirty bank with my piss.

The endless stars spun above me like time lapsed photography of the Earth’s rotation.

No way I could bike back to the camp.