Send them straight for the Campus Patrol

"Would you ratherrrr....." you ask, your words turning to a distracted mumble as the Campus Patrol walks by. There are two of them, like there always are, using a buddy system as they stroll around getting their peers in trouble with their limited campus power, badges, and radios.

You've seen campus patrols dozens of times. It's normally nothing to distract you, but out of this pair, you recognize only one, Leon, from your class last semester, or 'CP Andeers' as he likes to be called when he's on duty, but he's nothing special nor your type.

Leon Anderes' patrol partner, last name 'Hollus' from the badge pinned to her bandolier, however, is most guys' type. She's a fit chick with tight little sport shorts and a rather small, cobalt blue tank top hugging her lean, feminine figure and jutting chest. She's got a mean squint to her fine features, and her lips are pushed slightly forward in something between a bite and a duck-face.

As you stare just a little harder, she notices, and CP Hollus squints harder, scowls harder, and keeps walking your way.

"rrr..."

"Rather what, dude?" says the bench woman, looking positively eager to here the rest. "You can't stop there!"

You wonder, as the couple stare hopefully, amazed and excited by your powers and apparently their own inclusion in your use of them, can you stop there? Are the words 'would you rather' the holy part here? What would happen if you didn't finish the question? Or if you started a new one?

As the time since you started your question grows, and the campus patrol comes closer, you stammer out the rest of the question with the first things you see.

"...attack the approaching campus patrol, silently, with your Chardonnay, or grope and feel up CP Hollus without excusing yourself."

The woman frowns, but can't respond, and silently stands, wielding the thermos with a stoic look on her face. The man, however, stands, and says, "Wow, man. I'll do the other thing," and he glances at the hot CP walking his way, now only a few metres from the bench. The woman beside him frowns, surprised or at least maybe just angry that he'd pick that option over the first, but she can't complain, and he can't explain it, so they both just take a step towards the patrol.

The CPs are confused by the 'athletic' couples' stance. "Uh, everything in or....s..sppghghghhf!" The pretty patrol girl, Malina Hollus, spits cold Chardonnay from her pouty mouth, and shouts, "what the fuck? Is this for real?!" She wipes the wine out of her eyes and glares at the woman standing before her, eyes wide with angry confusion, her wet neck and shoulders sparkling in the sunlight, her tank top clinging slightly harder to her tight body. While it's far too dark to be see-through, you can now make out the shape of her bra under it.

The woman, unable to speak, or even make noise, raises her hands in a 'wasn't me!' gesture, futilely attempting to communicate her innocence. The man, able to speak if he wants, but not able to 'explain himself,' instead simply sucks in his lips and raises his shoulders in a shrug, reaches out with both hands, and grabs the chest of the CP in front of him.

"Aiahhhh! Stop it! What are you doing?!" She shouts, and tries to shove him off, but, unable to explain himself, he simply gropes away. As his left hand squishes her tit like he used to squish his favorite stuffed animal, his right one reaches for her top's right shoulder strap, and, grabbing it with her bra strap at once, yanks it down over her tit, exposing a beautiful, natural boob with a hardened nipple, a little bit wet with Chardonnay.

CP Leon Andeers, simply standing and staring up until this point, shakes himself from his ... distraction, and acts in a flurry of official but mostly useless manners. He shouts some crap into his radio about backup and the city police. Then finally, as the bench guy leans in to apparently put his mouth on poor Hollus' tit, Andeers shoves the two of them apart.

Hollus stumbles back, her one exposed tit bouncing all over the place until she regains her footing. The guy stumbles away too, but immediately lunges again, apparently not done completing his 'rather'.

The thermos of Chardonnay, however, is empty, and so the athletic-wear woman opens her mouth, and says, "this guy! He made us do it! He has really awesome powers! I mean, so powerful! Super cool!"

Hollus is practically hyperventilating, hunched and furious, her tit still hanging out as she huffs and puffs a few more seconds, obviously incredulous. Andeers blinks a few times, less flustered, but just as confused at the nonsense he just heard.

Still, all four of them turn, then, and look at you. You should know better by now not to ask questions like these without a plan, but you'll find your way out this, or at the very least, ask your way out.