Leaning on Mercedes

I looked at the piece of paper again, just to be sure I had the right time and place.

Garreg Mach Monastery; The Cathedral. Third bell after noon. Linger by the western doors. Enter exactly one and a half minutes after you cannot hear ringing.

Ingrid had underlined that part twice and added a note in the margin: Do NOT arrive early. You WILL be seen.

I glanced up at the cathedral doors. They were closed. Not locked, just like… ominously shut. As if they were judging me with those huge grim door knockers staring into my soul... stupid fucking doors. Don’t blame me for going after a holy gal, I’ve stolen the panties of Goddesses you know!

Yeah, that doesn’t feel better.

Dunno why this one was making me nervous, probably just this paper overcomplicating shit in my head.

According to Ingrid’s overly detailed explanation, this was the only window in the entire week where the cathedral would be empty. The choir was dismissed early for a religious holiday. The knights were rotating patrols on the eastern wing. The professor was occupied with faculty business. And the usual faithful students had been lured away by a free-meal event in the dining hall that Ingrid swore she had nothing to do with, despite the suspicious timing.

All while the goal (Mercedes) would remain behind to ‘tidy up’ after morning prayers.

Ingrid had written that part very politely. Out loud, she’d said: “Mercedes always stays to make sure everything is in order. She won’t leave until she’s... satisfied.”

Subtle, I know.

Ingrid had been pretty insistent on bringing this girl into the fold as soon as possible. Dunno if she was aiming to sleep with her too, or there was some bizarre grudge going on, but either way she’d planned all of this down to the letter.

All of it.

The paper crinkled in my hand as I unfolded the rest of it.

• Step 1: Enter calmly. Do not sneak.
• Step 2: Walk down the center aisle. Average pace, don’t dawdle but don’t run either.
• Step 3: If she notices you first, bow slightly. If you notice her first, clear your throat once. Not twice.

There was a tiny diagram of the cathedral interior drawn in careful pencil lines. Ingrid had even marked the seven most likely spots where Mercedes would be standing. Then twenty four more marks for where I needed to be standing depending on where Mercedes was standing. The next page were several draft scripts of how I needed to behave around Mercedes and dialogue trees based on the kind of things she was feeling that day...

“…this woman planned a military operation,” I muttered, half tempted to just scrunch up the paper and ignore it all.

Before I could disrespect the paper, I was interrupted by the bells ringing. Three times, like clockwork.

I counted under my breath. Seven seconds. Then seven more.

At the exact moment Ingrid had predicted, the cathedral doors creaked open easily under my hand.

The inside was quiet. More like an Eris church than an Axis one, by far. A peaceful tranquillity that wasn’t threatening to rip you off just for stepping inside. It was maybe the biggest church I’d been in as well. Sunlight streamed in through the stained glass windows. Soft colours that stretched up the regal architecture.

And at the altar, just as promised, a lone figure hummed softly to herself while adjusting a row of candles.

Twas a blonde religious looking archetype, fairly tall with some nice curves on a slightly wider frame. Part of me was hungry just looking at her, but another was somewhat transfixed. It was odd, the space seemed to soften around her as she moved slowly around the scene. As if the cathedral itself were something fragile she didn’t want to disturb. When she adjusted the candles or straightened a cloth, it wasn’t busywork; it was the kind of motion you’d expect from someone who genuinely cared that things were done properly.

She hummed while she worked. Quietly. Like she barely registered that she was doing it.

I’d seen plenty of beautiful girls since coming to this world, but Mercedes had a different effect. Reminded me of Wiz’s emotional warmth as you entered her shop in Axel. A strange safety to the smile that I never understood but always appreciated.

Still, gonna be fun to turn that calmness into a sweaty mess.

The plan was to seduce through that motherly nature of hers. Get her to agree to a lap pillow then reveal that I have a big boner for her after she starts stroking me off. Then take her somewhere secluded to have her calling out her god’s name over and over again. I’m doing a service, really.

I coughed just like Ingrid’s instructions had told me to. Mercedes noticed me almost immediately. She turned, hands clasped together at her waist, and smiled the kind of smile that felt like it could heal emotional damage just by existing. “Whew! What a view~!” I exclaimed confidently.

“Oh! Good afternoon,” Mercedes warmly responded. “I didn’t expect anyone to be coming in. Are you here to pray?”

Her voice echoed softly through the empty cathedral.

And, it kinda threw me.

The plan (as detailed by the rest of the paper in my hand’s vast amount of variable options) had been for me to bombard her with questions and seductive words to basically trick her. But… I dunno man, when someone’s that earnest in smiling at you it kinda throws a lot of the planned scumminess to the wayside.

“Uh… hi,” I said lamely, giving a little wave as she continued to smile politely. Oh no. Am I weak to this type of girl?! “Um, s-sorry to like, interrupt. I was just sort of… told you might, um, be here...?”

“Told?” She tilted her head slightly, curiosity bright in her eyes rather than alarm. “Did you need something from me? I’m happy to help you with anything you need.”

I lightly bit my tongue. Why’d I come right out and say it?! I was supposed to lie to her face about my intentions to make it look like a chance encounter! Not just say that I'm hunting her down like some deranged freak!

All of Ingrid’s planning was going to waste because my voice is trying to be as honest as this girl is!

Should I just bail?! ...no. Fuck it, we ball. Let’s just use the truth as much as I physically can.

“Right. So. This might sound a little strange,” I started, waiting to see Mercedes’ reaction but she only folded her hands together and waited patiently. “Uhm, I’ve been… well, a bit overwhelmed lately. New school. New chores. New everything! And I was told that you’re very good at helping people… relax?”

Her smile softened, and for a moment she looked genuinely concerned.

“Oh my. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that way,” she said. “If you’d like to talk, I’m always happy to listen.”

Quiet, guilty conscience. Let penis do the talking.

“…actually, I was really hoping,” I said, staring very intently at the floor, “that you might give me a l-l-lap pillow?”

The silence that followed was… impressive. And awful.

Mercedes blinked. Both confused and letting the soft smile of hers fade from her face.

I could feel the redness spreading to my ears. This was really cringe inducing for some reason, like I was a child asking mother for help to tie his shoelaces.

“A… lap pillow?” she repeated.

I nodded quickly, because if I stopped moving my head I might die of embarrassment. “Just for a bit! I-it’ll really help me r-relax, but I totally understand if you don’t want-!”

She raised her hand gently, stopping my rambling.

Her expression was studying me now, not unkindly. More like she was trying to figure out if I was joking, teasing, or completely serious.

“…you do understand that most young men who ask for something like that,” she said carefully, “are usually trying to make fun of a woman’s desires.”

There was a split second where the veneer of pleasance dropped. A glance of pure and utter piss pantingly fear run through me from the sheer anger that boiled below her surface. If she were Wiz I’d be frozen in a twenty foot block of ice, and I didn’t feel like finding out how similar these two might really be.

“Not a trick!” I said immediately. “I really just want a lap pillow! They... they make me happy!”

That earned a small, surprised laugh.

“You don’t say… I suppose I do have the right crest for such a task. If it’ll truly make you happy then I don’t mind.”

After such a tense glare I wasn’t expecting the flip back to smiles so quickly. At this point I really do need a way to relax after so many threats to my life. I sighed long and hard, gesturing to a nearby pew.

“Can we just do it on the bench…?”

After a moment of thought, Mercedes walked over and sat upon the wooden bench with practiced ease, smoothing her skirt over her legs. “Like this?”

“Yeah… that’s good,” I reassured, feeling that dog of lust budding up inside me.

A lap pillow from a pretty girl! And one with such big ol mamma jammers as Mercedes! Who cares if the holy spirits are watching, I was about to seduce their servant to become my follower~

I lowered myself carefully, like approaching a wild animal, and rested my head on her lap.

It was warm. Mercedes smelled divine, and the sight above my eyes was incredible. Her squishy hills made it hard to see her chin, just her inquisitive eyes staring down at me. She was so soft and silky. From her looks to the feel of her lap, it was getting me rather excited. All it would take would be me grabbing those boobs from this angle, or undoing my pants to show her my boner, or just rolling over to start sniffing her pussy through her skirt. So many chances to prove to her that I was a real hot blooded male that wanted-!

Then Mercedes gently placed a hand on my hair.

“Oh,” she murmured softly. “You really do look exhausted.”

I…

…huh.

Did I really look tired? Was I? I’m not… fuck. What was this feeling of relaxation that felt so foreign to me?

Had the years of three painful teammates finally caught up to me? Or the stress of so many deaths that toil on my soul? The sexual reward of this world has been amazing… but even here it does feel like the world is out to get me…

Had she just calmed my dog of lust with a single pet?

“…yeah.” I mumbled.

“Would you like to talk about any issues you are facing? I’m sure talking can help you.” She cooed, rubbing my hair so calmly, “Or perhaps you’d prefer just to sleep?”

“Hmm…”

Fucking hell, this girl was dangerous.

My eyelids really did feel super heavy, but I also felt like spilling my whole life story to her as well.

I should really get out of here before things get emotional.

Though a couple moments shut eye in such a soft space won’t kill me…

“I’m sorry you’ve been through so much, it sounds like you’ve had a lot on your plate, Kazuma. But Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin sound like they do appreciate you and everything you do. And it sounds like you care for them too.”

…did I just give a bunch of sleep exposition?

Now I really should get out of… huh?

I opened my eyes long enough to see her hand snap away from my crotch. A glance upwards showed her looking suspiciously ‘inconspicuous’ towards the ceiling. Blush on her face as she quickly returned to stroking my hair. “T-there there… g-go back to sleep…”

Huh. This chick has a dirty side, eh?

Okay, soft time is over. Time to get hard.

“I would…” I sighed faux wistfully, “But this just isn’t quite like the lap pillows back home… if only you would be willing to undo your shirt…”

Mercedes blinked, and though her face seemed a little confused, she did slowly undo the buttons on her shirt. Supple squishy skin seeped out of her shirt like they had been begging for air. Don’t worry girls, Kazuma will set you free! “Like this?”

I could see ample cleavage now inside a simple purple bra, but they weren’t really ‘out’ yet. “Peel back the shirt a little more… that’s it. Now if you wouldn’t mind just leaning over to place them upon me.”

This universe still rocks at a fundamental level. Instead of looking disgusted she looked like she was winning the lottery in real time. “I-I’m sorry… you want me to rub my chest on your face?”

“If it’s not too much hassle…” I pouted ‘sadly’.

The blushing beauty looked overjoyed, “N-no! No hassle! I’m definitely willing to help you!”

Hoo man, these were some tig ol bittes. The way they rested upon my face was sublime. Exquisite. Divine. Mercedes was not shy in ‘helping’ me, rubbing her chest back and forth along my face as I lay upon her lap. Such vast mammaries could make a man switch religions if they were in this position. Twas every man’s dream to lay upon an oppai mommy type’s lap and let them push their chest upon their face, I was just getting to live it!

“Mmmm… you smell so nice…” I said, muffled by the hefty breasts. Let’s see how far I can push this, “May I lick your skin?”

She didn’t even question how that made no sense with the ‘relax’ angle I was pushing, “A-anything to make you feel comfortable!”

I wasted no time in motorboating them puppies. Taking as huge a lick as I could manage from the center of her cleavage to the top of her breast. She gasped out at the sensation, but I had already started covering her other boob with saliva too. Hungry kisses and voracious licks assaulted her and she just leant her chest down further for me to access it. It didn’t matter we were in the house of her gods, she was getting her tits smooched like I was a divine blessing for her.

My hands soon joined the fray, pushing on her tit to squeeze even deeper on my face. She was clearly feeling it, gasping and moaning as I ravished those melons.

I wasn’t actively pulling her bra down, but one cup did come free because of my chin getting caught, and I was soon nibbling at Mercedes’ bare nipple. Just enough to make her quake in pleasure. Her moans echoed out in the empty chamber, but suddenly I stopped licking and lay my head back down calmly on her lap.

“Sorry Miss Mercedes, I feel like we need to stop soon.”

She was panting, looking genuinely distressed at my words, “W-why?!”

I pointed downwards, “Because all this resting of my head has excited my lower head too much,” her eyes bulged at my bulge. It had poked out of my fly and was now covered only by my strained white underwear. Each penile flex making her eye twitch in unison, “I’ll need to go and relieve myself.”

“I can help with that!” Mercedes blurted out.

I gave a fake thankful frown, “Oh, I couldn’t possibly ask so much-”

“You can! I’d be very happy to help you with your p-penis, Mr. Kazuma!” She insisted, begging me deeply with her eyes.

“Well, as long as you’re sure~”

With one smooth motion I had my trousers and underwear off before she could blink again. Maybe suspicious, but she was too busy staring at my length to care.

Mercedes was transfixed. Hypnotised by the real life erection in front of her, like she’d witnessed a miracle right in front of her. I went back to playing with her chest as she slowly approached my dick with her shaky hand, using her other hand to remove the other cup from her boobs. As soon as my teeth squeezed down on her areola, her fingers finally found my skin flute. Wrapping around it tightly like she’d just captured a wild animal that was about to run away.

Her hand was soft and warm, I’d already experienced it combing through my hair earlier, but this was different. Inquisitive strokes, studying my meat. Running up and down, watching my skin shift with her motions. I meanwhile was still going to town on her tits. My lust was untethered and my desires knew no bounds, big boobs were in my face and wanting me to focus all my efforts on pleasing them.

She eventually figured out how to use the copious precum that was beginning to lather my prick as lube, shuddering as the full breadth of my damp meat became even easier to enjoy. Her rhythm picked up the more I groaned into her chest.

Mercedes was a natural, perhaps she really did have a lot of experience with comforting others and that’s why she was great at handjobs.

“G-gonna cum…” I admitted, having to repeat myself when I didn’t have a mouthful of nipple. “Where do you want it?”

She was too overwhelmed to really understand, “Wuh…? Cum…?”

“Yeah. Ball juice. My dick geizer’s about to blow. Want me to jizz on your tits? Or in your mouth?” I smiled at her genuine excitement, though I suddenly realised I was in trouble. She just stroked my hair again and my head didn’t want to leave the comfort of her lap. What spell did this girl have on me?! “Uh, w-wait. I can’t lift my head!”

“Cum? Cum is coming? Y-you’re going to cum? You really are good at being a boy…”

Mercedes and I both noticed the sudden violent twitch my dick made in her hand.

We both blinked at the errant precum leaking from the slit before our eyes met. A hunger in her eyes that made me worried.

“Don’t say it.”

“...good boy?” she asked, feeling the violent twitch from my cock once more. I was doomed, she quickly began pumping her hand rapidly up and down my cock while continuing to ruffle my hair soothingly. “Good boy. So good. Making all that cum? Such a go~od b~oy~”

I grit my teeth but it was no use. She got the cum lust!

“H-hold on! My dick’s feeling too good! I-! GUHCKL!”

My orgasm was milked right out of me by the mommy type Mercedes. Jizz sprayed up my body, smearing both my clothes and hers. I don’t know how she made it feel so good with just her hand and lap, but god damn did each rope feel euphoric. It didn't even matter that I was spraying cum onto myself in a church, I just took Mercedes’ tit into my mouth and revelled in the sin of it all.

Mercedes continued to stroke me even as the last of my cum only seeped out as small squirts onto her hand. She really was milking me now, but I was feeling too good to complain.

“Wow... this smell is s-so intoxicating... it's making me feel lightheaded...” she reached her hand off of my cock and started licking my salty surprise, quickly shifting to eager laps after realising how much she enjoyed the taste. Sucking each of her digits clean before smiling down at me, “you really are… a good boy…”

…yeah, another spurt of cum shot out. Like you wouldn’t kill to be in this position.

“I hope I was able to h-help you relax, Kazuma,” smiled Mercedes, clearly wanting to lean down and lick my shirt clean, “Um… aren’t men usually soft by now…?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m special like that. I can go several times without softening.”

Mercedes gulped, “Goddess bless… d-do you require further relief?”

“Well that’s the thing, my dick is only ever really satisfied once I’m through creampieing all the nearby girls that want my jizz inside them,” I smirked from her lap, taking her breast in my hand to make her whimper with need, “Would you happen to be one of those girls, Mercedes?”

“I-”

“MERCIE! There you ar~re!”

A new voice echoed out through the hallowed halls, followed by rushed light footsteps skipping louder and louder.

“Annie, wait! Kazuma’s penis will need to fill your vagina with cum if you approach!”

“H-huh?”

“Don’t go blurting that kinda stuff out!” I growled, trying to move my neck, “Nng! Fuck! Did you glue me to your lap?! Why won’t my head raise up?!”

“What… what are you talking about Mercie?” the voice had screeched to a stop, but returned to approaching speed before gasping out once they reached the pew. “Gasp! M-Mercie! Y-you…! Oh my god!”

“It’s not what it looks like!” I quickly snapped, trying to get a good look at the ginger girl upside down from Mercedes’ lap. I glanced back down at my sperm-covered clothes, bare cock, and hand upon tit, “...okay, it might be a lot like what it looks like, but SSHHH!”

The ginger girl just looked mortified with her hands over her face. Mercedes suddenly started pleading too, “Annie! Please believe him! He asked me for this! L-look at his penis!”

Oh, right. Somehow I keep forgetting it’s the girls that get blamed for untoward romances, not me.

It was then that more noises started coming in from the front of the church. Whatever had held up the various nuns and knights so far was clearly over, and soon a swarm of eyes would be viewing my cum covered clothes.

“Look! Gingernut! I did all of this! I thought your friend was hot and we fooled around because of me! And I’ll do hot stuff to you too if you get us out of here before my secret is exposed to the whole school!”

Annette looked down at me, my crotch, the oncoming nuns, then Mercedes. Some sort of strife in her eyes as she was deciding whether to believe us despite everything in her life. I think it was the look the two of them shared that finalised the decision for her.

“M-my room isn’t very far…”