Chapter 70 – Paris’ toys

Looking up from my computer, I make a quick scan to make sure no one is close by or peeking at my screen before I bring up the delivery website again and check on the package. The driver is still several blocks away but is close enough that I don’t want to leave the desk. Even a quick trip to the break room could end up with me getting waylaid and missing the delivery. As I have no idea what the box is going to look like, I have every incentive to be here to receive it personally.

Why did I have to complain about receiving it at home? I know damned well that Suzy can overcome just about any complaint that I have. In classic Suzy fashion, she agrees that I have a problem and immediately offers up a solution that’s worse. Yes, having Grace see a box full of sex toys would have been bad. Giving her the wrong impression about me and my desires for male companionship. But that’s a far better possibility than my fellow secretaries seeing what I’m buying and getting delivered. Or worse… Mal.

For probably the dozenth time, I wonder if this interest in sex toys from my therapist is somehow related to me telling her about giving head to Darnell. I’ve told her about giving blow jobs before, but they’ve always been fictions. Fantasies made up for the benefit of backing up my story. Did she notice the difference when I talked about ACTUALLY giving head to the real Darnell? About orgasming while doing it? Is that why she wants me to play with toys at home? Or did she notice the difference and that’s why she seems to be focusing on me having oral sex with Mal?

With a curt shake of my head, I push all those thoughts aside and get back to work. Thankfully I have plenty to do that doesn’t involve me leaving my desk so I can keep checking on the package. The timing of its arrival couldn’t have been more perfect. Mal startles me a touch as he walks out to take a last-minute lunch with his wife, leaving me alone for the next half hour or so. When the website tells me the driver is at our building, I wait impatiently for him to come up to our floor.

Most packages addressed to K Edison Global would be directed to our shipping and receiving department. Thankfully most delivery services know that if it’s addressed to a particular name, it should be taken directly to them. If they didn’t know, shipping would almost always catch them and send them up to deliver it personally. Now, every time the elevator bell rang out, I’d lean over so that I could see the doors slide open, hoping and dreading in equal measure to see the guy in his black and purple shorts and polo.

When the doors finally slide open and it’s not just some other fellow office worker returning from lunch, I lock down my computer and stand up seeing that the Fed Ex guy is approaching with only a single box. One delivery. For me. I make sure to give him my brilliant smile and even giggle while touching his arm to hide my own nerves as he comments how heavy the box is. And he’s right, it IS rather weighty, meaning I’d rather not schlep it around unnecessarily.

Instead of putting it on the floor and checking the contents later, I decide to wait until the delivery guy has made it back to the elevator and then open up the box. The outer box is nothing special, just plain brown with a couple arrows indicating the top side and a shipping label. Inside that is the real box though, and that one is bright pink and emblazoned with those interlocking hearts and the words LOVE BUNNY printed everywhere.

I take another look to make sure no one will see me opening this inner box before quickly slicing open its tape and folding it’s obscenely obvious adult shop box graphics over to look inside at the toys Suzy and I picked out. Or rather, the toys that Suzy picked out for me. The first box on top is the small remote control bullet vibrator. It looks so simple, so non sexual, that it’s hard to believe it’s advertised as giving out the most powerful clitoral stimulated orgasms.

After another glance to confirm I’m still alone I set it on my seat and look at the next box. I let out a little groan as I remember Suzy saying that I’d really enjoy these. Nipple clamps. Like the bullet vibrator it almost didn’t look sexual. Just chrome and black plastic clamps. Of course, once you noticed the chain connecting the clamps it started to look suspicious. I still doubt that I’ll enjoy having my nipples pinched with these as that sounds more like ****, but I know I’ll have to at least try it once in order to tell Suzy how I felt about them.

Wanting to hurry, I just set that box on my seat and continue to the next one. I let out a groan as this box is larger and makes a little noise as I pull it free, but it would have to be a big box to hold the six different sized vibrating butt plugs that Suzy thought would be appropriate. What was it she said… ‘You want to get loose back there with as big as your men are’. Yup, my therapist bought me toys specifically to get ready to have anal sex with Mal and Darnell. No, no, no, no… but like the clamps, I’ll have to at least try the first one so I can talk about how much I don’t like it and won’t be going through the eight-week stretching course.

Laying the large butt plug box on the floor I dig deeper into the big box and pull out the next three similarly sized boxes together. These are the most ordinary looking sex toys as far as I’m concerned. Plastic, realistically shaped, penis dildos. Of course, their underlying use is what makes them devious, as Suzy wants me to have fun and have something to suck on at home. How long did I have to sit there and look at the dildos, comparing size and skin color until she believed me that I had one that was shaped like Darnell and one that was shaped like Mal. If I’d have thought it through at the time I wouldn’t have put up any fuss and just picked the first one that was anywhere near the sizes that I’d talked about before, but no, I had to protest and say that I didn’t want them to be sized like Mal and Darnell. So now instead of a realistic white dildo shaped like Mal and a realistic black dildo shaped like Darnell, I have three. Mal, Darnell, and a big pink one that’s supposedly flavored like strawberries. Now I’m going to have to try sucking on all three and report to Suzy how they compare to the real thing.

Setting the boxes atop the growing pile on my chair I turn back to the large box and pull out the little envelope with the remote-controlled vibrating panties. I again can’t see the use of these. There is no way in hell that I’m going to wear them out on a date. And even if I did, you can bet your bottom dollar that I wouldn’t be handing the remote off to someone else. Not Trixie, not Grace, and most certainly not Darnell or Mal.

Just tossing them beside me I pick up the last box and marvel at the ingenious toy. Even though I didn’t quite understand them, I’d heard of nipple clamps. And of course, I’d heard of vibrators before and could easily imagine women using them. But remote-controlled nipple stimulators? Little discs that grip nipples and then vibrate against them?

I catch myself after reading almost the entire box and realize I’m still standing in the middle of the office. Holding the nipple stimulator box to the side I pull out the last few items on the bottom. Two bottles of lube, one small enough for my purse and a larger one for my bedside drawer, some included paperwork with QR codes, a shiny brochure with ads for more toys, and oddly enough a little sheet of LOVE BUNNY stickers.

As I stand wondering who would actually put an adult toy brand sticker on anything of theirs, I hear Mal loudly and overtly clear his throat. Right in front of me. Looking up quickly I see my boss standing in front of my desk. Beyond his inquisitive single raised eyebrow, his face is completely unreadable. I’m not sure if he’s amused, upset, or annoyed.

A thought crosses my mind on how Mal would talk about negotiations. On some of those late work nights he talked about his tactics and one that stuck with me is not letting your negotiating partner know what you think. To not let them know if you’re surprised, pleased, or even upset at something they’ve said. How did he put it…. ‘Smile, like they just complimented your tie even if they just shit all over your lunch’.

With that in mind and having no desire to let Mal know how embarrassed I am, I take a single moment to die a little on the inside before calmly putting the nipple stimulators away in the larger box, standing upright, and smiling. “Welcome back Mal. There were no calls or messages while you were out. The only delivery was for me and is of a personal nature. Once I clean this up, would you like me to get you a cup of coffee?”

Without otherwise moving a single muscle, Mal’s eyes flick over the mess around my desk, floor, and chair. He quickly takes in the paperwork and lube on my desk, the large box of toys on my chair, and even the butt plug box sitting on the floor. When his eyes sweep back up to mine, he again clears his throat and says in a fairly calm voice, “No. No coffee. Pack all this up and…” Mal takes just a moment to look around like I was, confirming no one is in close proximity before continuing “…bring it all inside.”

With that said, my boss walks by me and into his office leaving me to wonder if there was a way I could have made this worse. As quickly as I can, before Darnell or Grace or the entire secretarial pool stops by, I pack everything into the big box, fold its flaps closed, and carry it into Mal’s office, shutting the door behind me. I’m fully aware that closing the door generally means sex time, a hand job or some other private activity, and that it could indicate that I’m wanting that with the toys I’ve literally brought into this meeting, but I’m not sure I want anybody outside seeing Mal take me to task for bringing these toys into the office. An embarrassing moment in private is better than an embarrassing moment in public.

Mal, after removing his jacket, takes the box from me and sets it on the corner of his desk. With me standing attentively nearby he starts pulling the items out one by one and going over them. “Hmm, dildos. I thought you couldn’t be penetrated?”

I wait a moment to see if Mal’s inquiry is rhetorical or not before answering as calmly as I can, “That’s right, my prosthetic doesn’t allow for anything other than a little bit of penetration. But my therapist said I should practice orally working on something realistic.”

Mal’s face doesn’t change as he looks at the three dildos and picks up the white one, obviously noting it’s general size in relation to his own manhood, “Three of them?”

Accepting that this will simply be a deep dark humiliating day, I take the plunge, “She wants me to have two realistic ones that match my two boyfriends. You and Darnell. Remember, she thinks I’m going out with Darnell. The other was because I said I didn’t want to use ones that reminded me of real people, so it’s shaped differently and… and tastes different.”

Mal sets the dildos aside as if I’d described nothing stranger than three different pen colors, “Okay. The anal stretch kit then makes sense. She wants you to get ready for anal sex, yes?”

I feel the flush starting to color my face, “Yes, that’s right. It’s NOT going to happen, but she’s insistent.”

Holding up both the bullet vibrator and the vibrating panties, the corner of Mal’s tilts just a bit upward in a grin, “These are self-explanatory. I don’t imagine you’ll be using them here in the office, though I’d love to see you comfortable enough to do so.”

I don’t respond as he’s right. I will NOT be using either of them here in the office and this is the only time Mal will be seeing those particular toys.

When he sees that I’m not going to take the bait, he sets them back in the box and takes out the nipple clamps and stimulators. Holding them both up toward me he breaks out into a full smile and says, “Well, I refuse to let you go without having at least a little bit of fun. Which would you rather try here? Clamps? Or stimulators?”

As much as I want to keep that calm exterior on, that “this doesn’t bother me at all” demeanor, this is just too much. I slowly start shaking my head in the negative, “No. No, my therapist insisted I get these toys and that I try them. It was a mistake to get them shipped here because I’m going to do this in the privacy of my home. I’m sorry I had them shipped here and even more sorry that I opened them up at my desk, but I’m not going to play with any of them here Mal.”

I know that there’s a key difference in what words are spoken and how they are spoken. I know that I said the right thing. That I apologized, remained professional, and stated firmly that this wasn’t going to happen. Maybe if I’d said all of that in a calm clear voice, it would have meant that. But my voice was too quiet. Too meek. Too hesitant. Too shaky. I wasn’t telling Mal no. I was asking him if no was appropriate.

And Mal’s widening grin tells me that no is NOT appropriate.