Steven Bradbury, single uncle approaching 40

By all counts, you (Steven Bradbury) are an upbeat and positive guy. You live with your sister, her husband, and their three sweet children; your monetary contribution to the rent allows your sister’s husband to be a stay-at-home dad while your sister teaches at the local high school. There have been ups and downs in your life, such as losing your long-time job as a head cook (a job you had for over 7 years), but this past year has been great; after a load of courses, you’re now a loan specialist at a local bank branch, with your own office, you have enough disposable income to play Dungeons and Dragons, and you have the weekends off.

Of course, being a good an honest person with a positive attitude hasn’t done any favors for your romantic life. Despite approaching 40, you’ve never had a successful romantic relationship. Your sexual history is almost non-existent, most likely due to a lack of confidence in yourself caused by being overweight and a dick on the smaller side.

Dungeons and Dragons helped with the depressing thoughts related to your dismal romance options. Porn and fantasies provided the additional relief you needed to deal with the idea that you might never find love.

Today though, today another miniature was due to arrive, something to keep you feeling positive. The seller on Ebay had been a bit sketchy, which was not uncommon when ordering from overseas, but sometimes getting the right miniature meant taking risks. You had once ordered a somewhat sexual miniature from Russia because it was perfect the boss fight of the campaign you were running at the time, and that had worked out great; hopefully this would too.

Cradling the box as you took it from the mailbox, you brought it into your room: a small bedroom that was dominated by the full bed that took up a good third of the room, and a computer desk with double monitors that was littered various dice and nerdy paraphernalia.

Moving the keyboard back, you opened up the box. The miniature was a bit larger than normal and covered with dust. You were surprised to find that the miniature was heavier than expected, likely made out of metal or stone then rather than plastic or resin. You sighed; this wasn’t the miniature you ordered! You were going to have to contact the seller or Ebay support; while this copper idol was certainly cool, you didn’t need your young niece or nephew seeing a half-nude busty female statuette on your desk. That sounded like it would lead to a scenario where your sister or brother-in-law pitched a fit.

Still, maybe there was something special about this. Picking up the figurine, you noticed some dust around the features and brushed it off.

All of a sudden, you weren’t alone in your bedroom. You practically fell out of your chair at the sight of the Ifrit standing just inside your room, the door closed behind her. You couldn’t deny she was hot, her outrageous proportions and relative nudity send blood surging to your lower member. She may well be the most beautiful woman you had ever beheld.

“A genie?” You had put two and two together, coming to the conclusion based on her Arabic-themed costume. You gulped as your gaze couldn’t look away from her heaving breasts.

“Glad you like what you see. Nice to meet you, Steven. I’m Inara the Ifrit, and I’m here to grant seven of your deepest, darkest wishes!”

You chuckled; this situation felt like something out of one of your fantasy novels. “How is this real? I can’t be dreaming…”

“Oh, I’m very real, and you better-” She winked out of existence, only for her sentence to continue from behind you. "-believe it." He spun around to see Inara dressed like Esdeath from Akame Ga Kill, sitting on the edge of your bed.

"Holy mother of God, how did you... so you're a real Genie?"

"Ifrit!" She snapped.

"Wishes, huh? I'm really quite content with my life, actually. Can I wish for world peace?"

"Bzzt!" Inara crossed her arms into an X. "Not that it's beyond me, but I won't grant any wishes that are boring. They can only be sinful wishes!"

"Sinful?"

"Yeah, like... How about wishing you could **** anyone without repercussions? It's a good start and I assure you it's tons of fun!"

"I can't do that!" You were horrified at her proposal. You had a feeling she was bad news. Years of D&D were telling you that any wishes you made were going to be twisted. Despite the idea of engaging in some of your desires, you knew it would be a bad idea. "You know what, why don't you go back into your statuette. I don't think I need your help."

"Oooh, that won't do at all, honey," she purred. You suddenly found yourself caught in her embrace. She was enormous now, each arm thicker than your neck, and unyielding like iron. "You will make a wish, or I'll punish you."