Chapter 67 – Darnell and Trixie are excited

Friday in the office is thankfully calm. It really helps that Mal took a personal day and I’m allowed to catch up on my own work. Trixie isn’t able to go to lunch so I just go to the break room and get one of the prepacked salads from the vending machine and another cup of coffee. I lather on the thick ranch dressing knowing I won’t be able to finish even this small meal and wanting to get as many calories in as I can. Halfway through lunch both Frank and Thomas join me after Frank teasingly points out that I have a little dribble of ranch dressing on my chest.

I put on my best giggle, pool the dabble of dressing up on a finger, and suck it off playfully to keep up the bimbo act as we all know the under tone of what he meant. Of course it looked like a dribble of cum on my cleavage. The three of us have a conversation full of double entendres until I get full and head back to my desk. I don’t bother correcting Thomas when he jokes that I don’t have to watch my weight by throwing half of my salad away. The damned stomach band just makes sure that it looks like I’m being weight conscious all the time even though I feel like I’m full to the point of bursting.

An hour after returning to my desk Darnell stops by. Unlike Frank and Thomas, he’s thankfully all business as he helps me clear the video from my email. Trixie was just trying to be a friend by sending me the video she took of me giving Darnell head, but I absolutely hated the idea of the entire IT department being able to see it even if I deleted it. It takes Darnell a good five minutes of code work to get the video off the corporate servers while he’s bent over my desk typing away at my keyboard. I’m left with nothing to do but sit idly by and look over his well-dressed athletic body. Now that I’ve seen him without clothes, seen him up close and personal, seen him fucking Trixie, I have to admit that the clothes are hiding away Darnell’s best attributes. He really is one of those rare men that looks better without clothes on.

When he’s finished, the video off the corporate server and transferred to my phone, I stand up and give him a kiss to the cheek in thanks. I promise that I’ll meet him and Trixie tonight, shivering only slightly as his hand finds my plump rear and gives me an appreciative pat.

After the office starts to close down I finish up my day and shut down Mal’s office. Without him here I’m able to get out on time which means I have over an hour before I’m supposed to meet Trixie and Darnell at the bar. Not wanting to waste most of that time going home just to turn around a few minutes later, I head upstairs to one of the quieter rest rooms and go into one of the stalls for some privacy. With the volume turned almost all the way down so that I can keep an ear out for anybody joining me in the lady’s room, I cue up Trixie’s video and for the fist time watch the entire scene of me blowing Darnell.

I end up watching the video three times. The first time it forces me to relive the moment, and I barely register the fact that I’m viewing it from a different perspective. Instead I re-experience it in the first person. Seeing Darnell’s pubic hair get closer and further away, feeling his thickness spread my lips open, hearing his deep breathing and Trixie’s soft kisses, feeling my thighs clench and the dildo push into me, feel him slide into my throat, and finally feel him paint my face in hot steaming cum.

I almost delete the video there but instead **** myself to watch it again. This time I’m able to watch it without reliving it. I’m not sure if Trixie intended it or not, but I notice she never shows that my arms are cuffed behind me. Sure, she shows that my arms ARE behind me, but doesn’t ever display the cuffs on my wrists. Nor does she show the dildo sliding in and out of my ass, though that does make my bouncing up and down look like I’m more excited to be giving head than I was. The video also never shows Darnell’s face and barely hints that Trixie is taking the video. With all the close-up shots of my face, it’s very clear it’s me giving head but if you didn’t know it was Darnell and didn’t recognize his or Trixie’s voices, you’d think I was being recorded by some blonde stranger, blowing some black stranger.

The third viewing is where I can really look at it critically. Knowing what was going on in my head, I can see the points where I struggled. Where I froze and just stared straight ahead because I didn’t know what to do. When I just looked up into Darnell’s eyes, afraid of what he was going to do. When I closed my eyes and concentrated on what I’d told Trixie about giving head, basically giving myself pointers on how to look like I knew what I was doing. But I recognize those points only because I have my internal dialog going along with them. Without that dialog, those parts look vastly different. My moment of stillness doesn’t look like I don’ know what to do, it looks like I’m… happy. Like I’m overtaken with joy for a moment. I even make that little moan as Darnell barely slides his cock in and out between my puffy lips. When I look up into Darnell’s eyes in fear I appear more to be looking up in awe. In appreciation. I remember making noise that time and my throat actually hitching… but that hitch paused the sound, paused what sounded like a moan, and made it sound appreciative. A “MmHmm!” sound. And when I closed my eyes in the video, when I knew I was going over what I’d told Trixie about giving head, I instead looked like I was lost in ecstasy. I even swayed a bit side to side and slowed down as if I wanted the moment to last longer.

God Damn it, how did I end up looking like a total slut while being afraid and terrified and humiliated? I’m not sure I could have looked more INTO giving head than I did in the video, even if I tried. And the facial? That moment when I was orgasming and concentrating on my throat which had just been opened wide by Darnell’s cock, looked so damned sexy. If I watched this as porn, I wouldn’t have any doubt that the sexy big tittied girl in the video was loving what was happening to her.

I finally put my phone into my little clutch purse and head down to the street so I can walk over to Stocks and Blondes to meet Trixie and Darnell. I’d be lying if I didn’t say watching myself give Darnell head hadn’t ended up turning me on. Worse though was the fact that this video is what Trixie and Darnell had kept as a memory of that night withOUT my internal dialogue to add the proper color to it. And beyond my note saying I was excited about the night and didn’t want to wake them up, they have no indication from me that I didn’t enjoy myself. Now I just have to figure out a way to convince Trixie I still want to see her, still want to fool around with her, and politely do NOT want to fool around with Darnell without indicating it’s because I didn’t like what happened.

Walking into Stocks and Blondes I easily spot Trixie and Darnell. They make such a great couple with his well built almost cocky attitude and her devoted perky playful perspective right next to him. They greet me warmly and quickly get me a drink. I hate admitting that the appletini is quite tasty. We chat and catch up and at least for a little bit everything feels normal. I’m just hanging out with my friend and her boyfriend and we’re talking about work.

Darnell’s phone eventually rings, and he has to excuse himself for a late business call that can’t wait until Monday. After he steps to a quiet area of the bar, Trixie scoots close to me and says in an almost too loud and excited voice, “Okay, now that he’s gone, we have to talk about it. How much fun was it going down on Darnell. Be honest!”

I’m taken aback both by her bluntness and the fact that she doesn’t seem to be bothered if anybody nearby overhears our private conversation. I guess I took too long to gather my thoughts as she continues, “You looked SO hot Paris. I mean, I like, always imagined you being all sexy and hot and cool giving a blow job but that was way sexier and hotter and cooler!”

I feel my face flush as I look around, seeing if anybody is taking a particular interest in our conversation. When I don’t see anybody’s attention I turn back to Trixie and say quietly, “Um, yeah, it was… it was nice. He’s so… well, he’s big and, uh, that’s always, um, nice…”

Trixie covers her mouth in something between a shriek and a giggle, “I know, RIGHT!? I, like, remember you saying how you like to feel them in your throat and I swear I thought you were lying or exaggerating, but when I saw your nose tap Darnell’s pubic hair, I almost lost it right then and there. I’ve, like, only got him that deep once without sounding all gross and almost throwing up. And even then, I was, like, drunk as a skunk so I don’t’ remember how I did it. But he won’t stop talking about it. Darnell says that only a few girls have ever been able to take him down like that on the first time!”

I pause as what Trixie is going on about starts to sink in. I’m not really big enough to enjoy deep throating on that side. I mean, sure I could push into a girl’s throat if I really tried but I’d just barely get the tip in. Most of what I knew about deep throating came from watching porn. Most girls in porn do it, so I assumed that most girls could do it. Was it odd that I could? On my first try? Was it odd that I could do it at all? And if so, would that make me even more attractive to someone as big as Darnell?

Trixie seemed honestly excited and happy as she went on, going beyond the sex act and started seeming to make plans for our combined future, “Oh Paris, this will be so perfect. Darnell has always loved getting head and I tried so hard. I really admire sexy girls like you that enjoy it and wish I was one of them. I don’t mind Darnell getting some fun on the side but I’m, like, jealous. So you liking doing that, liking doing that with him is so freaking awesome! We’ll make the perfect throuple! Darnell and I like having sex and have a really good relationship going. Our only problem is his love of head and my dislike of it. You two have been teasing each other for months now about that very thing and when you finally get a chance you both love it! You get along at work and I, like, totally trust you with my boyfriend. I can even trust you two going out alone because you won’t want to have sex with him, you’ll just want to give him those sexy blow jobs! He doesn’t want to cheat on me, but will gladly go out with you since we’re, like, besties and everything!”

This starts gathering far more steam and momentum than I thought it would, and Trixie just keeps excitedly going, “And, like, this will work with any combination. You and I can still go out and have fun, like I love getting into your panties you sexy thing. Darnell and I can go out and not be pressured about getting or giving head, and you two can go out together and have all the blow job fun you two want. Oh, and just like I pinky promised, I haven’t told him about your transitioning. Darnell still thinks you were born all girl. I told him you were saving yourself for Mal or some other more serious relationship but said you might be interested in butt stuff. You know, just to leave you, like, the option!”

Throuple? All the blow job fun we want? Butt stuff!!?? I feel my chest tightening as this is way worse than I thought it would be. Yes, Trixie clearly still wants to have fun with me alone, but she seems almost MORE excited about Darnell and me getting together. Just as I start to get up the wherewithal to start to challenge Trixie’s obviously wrong assumptions though, I let out a little squeal of surprise as Darnell sits down right next to me, trapping me between him and Trixie. “That’s all taken care of. So, what are my girls talking about? Me I hope!”

If talking to Trixie about not wanting to see Darnell is difficult, then talking to him about it is downright impossible. If he’s only half as excited about this relationship idea as Trixie is, then it won’t be possible to get Darnell off my trail without admitting I don’t like sex with men and am only interested in Trixie. I’d be crushing so many already established lies to Darnell that would naturally get to Trixie, that would naturally get to Stirling that would… fuck.

As much as I want to deal with this now, to establish what I really want between Trixie and Darnell, I have to admit I don’t know how to do it right now. Not with as excited as Trixie turned out to be. As to not ruin everything or even ruin the night, I push my concerns to the back of my head and plan on thinking it through and making a better plan of attack over the weekend.

Without that concern flooding my every thought, I slip back into my happy role. And to be honest, it’s easy to be happy with Trixie and Darnell since they are both really good people. They’re honest and fun and kind. Between the two of them I can honestly talk about any interest I have, be they ‘Jamie’ interests or ‘Paris’ interests. I can talk about fashion and style with Trixie but where I couldn’t really talk sports with her, Darnell loves talking about sports. Though, I did go overboard and try to impress him with my college football knowledge since it was my favorite sport. I just forgot that he PLAYED college football and had a far vaster knowledge base than me.

By the time we finished up at Stocks and Blondes none of us were ready to call it a night. Walking down the street Trixie suggested we hit a movie together. Since Fantastic Four just opened we tried to get tickets to that, but it was sold out. Seeing that none of us had caught F1 we got tickets to that instead. Only when we walked in, and realized that the theater was empty, did I get a worried feeling in the pit of my stomach.