You get lost and run out of gas

You don’t need her to put the restaurant into the GPS. You know exactly where it is. This is where you grew up!

Except that wasn’t there before. This road is blocked and detoured. This used to be all cornfields, now it’s strip malls and subdivisions. Fuck when did this town install so many roundabouts? Which road do you turn off on? Where did all the businesses and houses go?

You drive on a road big enough for one vehicle. Tall leaf-less trees tower on either side of you.

You sister-in-law was being so polite that she didn’t question you, but after an hour of driving and her stomach growling she asks, “Want me to put the restaurant into the GPS now?”

“Sure,” you say, giving up. You’re completely lost. No clue where you are or how you got here.

“Crud,” she holds up her phone to the ceiling. “There’s no service.”

“It’s okay. I’ll just turn around. Try to follow the way we came. I hope you left a trail of breadcrumbs out the window.”

“I was thinking about it,” she laughs. “I should’ve said something earlier. I didn’t want to insult my new brother-in-law.”

“Hey we’re family now. You can insult me as much as you want, just be prepared to get teased back.”

“How would you tease me?”

“How would I tease a young, attractive woman? It definitely couldn’t be able your looks: their perfect. It’d have to be about your age. I’d reference shows that came out five years ago, and ask if you got the reference or if you were still playing with blocks?”

She giggles and slaps at your arm, “I’m not that much younger than you. You’re just the oldest brother and I’m married to the baby brother.”

“That’s true. I could wait long enough for you to graduate high school. My parents would think I’m gay if I waited that long to marry.”

“You wouldn’t want to marry me! Your wife is great!”

“It sounds like you haven’t met my wife.”

She howls with laughter. “You’re so bad! Don’t say that about your wife.”

“We’ve been married for a decade. She’s a saltine. You’re a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto. I like spice, and she doesn’t like when I douse her in hot sauce.”

Your sister-in-law giggles, “Sorry. I have a dirty mind. I took that analogy to a sexual place.”

“Don’t apologize. I’ve been thinking dirty thoughts all day. I’ve gotten good about keeping them to myself though.”

She turns to you smiling, “Give me one dirty thought! I won’t judge! In fact I’ll tell you one I had earlier first! When I was showering, I had to stop myself from opening the curtain and showing you my naked body.”

You have to yank on the wheel to get back on the road before crashing into a tree. Holy fuck! If only that happened!

You feel much more comfortable confessing your dirty thought. “I checked out the tag on your bra hanging in the bathroom to find out your size.”

She smiles, “You sneaky man. Checking out your sister-in-law’s bra. Thank god it was a sexy one. I would’ve been mortified if it was one of my laundry day bras.”

“So sexy,” you say.

The car stalls. You look down. You didn’t realize you were driving on Empty this whole time.

The temperature drops. It starts to snow. Still no service.

You’re hungry and it’s about to get very cold.