Vicky gets them VIP Access

Alkim

And so, thanks to the incredible storage capacity of Kate’s cleavage, they were able to smuggle two collapsible flasks of vodka, a bag of coke, and a weed pen right into the club.

And that’s not even counting her milk supply...

They tried stuffing in a third flask, but that was too much for Kate, so they drank it in the Uber on their way over. It was a miracle their male driver managed to keep his eyes on the road with acres of jostling cleavage in his rear-view mirror.

Kate was a pretty good sport about it, but she still had to get some complaints in.

“Just don’t expect me to mule like this every time.”

“Aww, c’mon, Kate! It's like a utility pouch! Embrace the power!”

“Easy for you to say when you’re not lugging these around.”

“I can hold them up for you, if you think that’ll help.” Alkim joked.

“Ha, ha, ha.”

“I’d split the load with you if I had the room, but this isn’t the right dress for that.”

Vicky wasn’t wrong. She probably could hide the eightball, but none of them wanted to risk it falling out the bottom, whereas Kate’s tits and corset made that a non-issue.

“We’ll take that load off your chest as soon as we get something at the bar to mix the vodka with,” said Alkim.

The line wasn’t too long. In a few minutes they’d gotten past the bouncer checks. All that was left was exchanging their tickets for wristbands from a cute ticket counter girl with a pixie cut and a lot of facial piercings.

“Are you all together?” asked Pixie cut.

“Yes!” answered Vicky, “Oh, I love your hair! And those piercings!”

“Oh, thank you.” Pixie cut was starting to blush. “I really like your outfits. You guys are a really hot group.”

“Thanks! I wanted to look my best for Yeah Boi! He’s, like, my favorite DJ, haha.”

Alkim couldn’t help but notice which of the group members were getting the majority of Pixie cut’s attention. That was not so surprising, given her haircut and accessories. She took their tickets, but Vicky spoke up before they received their wristbands.

“Hey, do you mind if I ask, how do you like working here?”

“I like it. It’s a cool club, management’s not too bad, and ticket counting is pretty chill. I also do some tech work occasionally, lights and stuff.”

“Cool! I’m asking because I just moved back to LA and this is, like, exactly the kind of place I’d loooooove to work as, like a promoter or bartender or anything. Do you know if there’s any openings?”

“I think we might, yeah. Could always use another bartender to keep full coverage, I can ask my manager if you want.”

“That’d be SO nice of you! I’m taking online classes on music production because I really want to be a producer, and I think this place could be a great place to get my start DJing, ya know?”

“Oh, totally. If you want we can exchange numbers, chat about openings, and I could forward your resume to my manager.”

“Perfect!” Vicky pulled out her phone and had Pixie cut’s number in no time. “I gave you my SoundCloud account too! You’re the best-”

“Leah.”

Vicky extended her hand, “Nice to meet you, Leah! I’m Vicky, and this is Kate, Hannah, and Alkim.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Hi.”

“Sup.”

Leah bit her lip, considering.

“So, I don’t usually do this, but we didn’t sell that many VIP tickets tonight, and we need some more people up there for the promotional photos. Would you guys be interested in a free upgrade?”

Vicky literally jumped for joy. “Ooooh! That sounds amazing! We’d love that!”

So, Leah gave them all VIP wristbands, despite the fact that none of them were important persons.

“Enjoy the show!” said Leah.

“Thank you! Text me, okay! Or find us on the floor if you find the time!”

“I’ll try!”

Vicky blew a final kiss to Pixie cut, and they were in.

Vicky turned around and spread her arms out in triumph, “And what do we say to free VIP access?”

“Thanks, Vicky!” said Kate.

“Thanks.” Hannah.

“You’re the fuckin best,” said Alkim, “Genuinely can’t believe that worked.”

Vicky winked at him knowingly.

This was just one of the many reasons Alkim loved partying with a mostly female group, and especially Vicky: she was his gateway to entire worlds of backroom shit he could never have accessed on his own. A group of guys couldn’t get anywhere like this without paying an arm and a leg, and giving a girl your SoundCloud account should have been a guaranteed panty-drier. Yet Vicky had coasted them through on nothing but her looks and sheer “we’re just girls here” charisma.

It was like microdosing the lifestyle of a hot girl in her twenties; exactly what he’d been missing in Vicky’s absence. He knew he’d be riding that high all night, though there was always room for a couple more.

“So, drinks?” Alkim suggested.

“Yes! Oh, but does anyone else want to powder their nose first?” asked Vicky.

They all did.

The foursome entered the women’s room together, keeping Alkim in the middle in case anyone was checking.

No one was, so they bunched up in the handicapped stall. Kate removed the two flasks, handing one to Vicky, and the other to Alkim, along with his weed pen.

“Here’s to getting fucked up!” toasted Vicky.

“Here, here!” said Alkim.

They each took a swig, with Kate sharing Alkim’s flask, and Hannah sharing with Vicky.

“Bleghh, warm vodka,” bitched Hannah.

Alkim ignored her, followed up with a hit from his weed pen, stashed the flask in his pocket, and started passing the bag of coke around. Everyone took a bump or two, but when the bag reached Hannah, she hesitated.

“Wait, is this cocaine vegan?”

They all just looked at her dumbfounded, not sure how to respond. Alkim honestly couldn’t tell if she was joking or not but decided to answer anyway.

“Well, it's made from coca leaves, but in a very environmentally destructive way, so, no. Definitely not.”

Hannah’s cheeks flushed red, and Alkim knew it wasn’t from Asian glow. “You know, you don't have to be such a fucking know-it-all, all the fucking time. We get it, you went to UCLA.”

She gummed a pinch of the stuff anyway, then handed the bag to Vicky.

“And you don't have to get pissed every time I answer a question with words they didn't teach you on Sesame Street.”

“Typical Scorpio man; always needs to control the conversation.”

Ugh. Again with the fucking birthday racism.

“Wait, how are you even vegan? I’ve seen you eat a sushi burrito.”

Hannah rolled her eyes. “Fish isn’t meat. They aren’t animals, so they don’t feel pain.”

Alkim decided he didn’t want to continue this conversation.

“Okay, time for drinks! Meet you at the bar!” Vicky took the coke, her vodka, and dragged Alkim and Kate out of the bathroom by hand before Hannah could say anything.

Alkim breathed a sigh of relief once they were out of the women’s room.

“Whew. Perfect timing, thanks for getting me out of there. I don’t think I could take any more of her ignorance.”

“Is this coke vegan?” Kate mimicked.

Alkim laughed, “I deserve a fucking Oscar for answering with a straight face. That has to be the most LA blonde bullshit I’ve ever heard. Do you think she doesn’t swallow because the cum isn’t vegan, or does she swallow because she thinks it's a fish and therefore has no soul?”

“Hey! Blonde here!” said Vicky.

Kate laughed, “Oh, come on. Blonde jokes only apply to, like, natural blondes. White girls.”

“Yeah,” Alkim agreed, “Pretty sure they weren’t made with blonde Koreans in mind.”

“C’mon guys, can we stop hating tonight?” asked Vicky.

“I don’t know, she’s kind of put me in a hating mood,” said Alkim.

“Look, I know she’s not the nicest, but she’s not as bad as you guys think, okay?”

“I doubt that.”

“Just be nice to her, and she’ll be nice back. Please? Can you do that tonight, for me?”

Alkim sighed. “Fine. I’ll try to be nicer. But just cuz you asked so nicely.”

Even though Hannah’s never once allowed me to do her any kindness.

Vicky kissed his cheek, “Mwah! Good boy! And not that it matters, but I’m pretty sure she does swallow.”

They made it to the bar, though the bartender was presently occupied, chatting with a lone and pretty woman on the far end of the bar from the trio.

“Now, seeing as I’m completely invisible to bartenders next to you guys, can one of you with the tits flag him down?”

Vicky laughed, “True, true. Alright, Kate, let’s see who can get their drink first. Ready, set, go!” She leaned over the counter and called out like a siren at a bachelorette party, “Yooo hooooo! Excuse me! Sir!” All while waving her arms overhead, and bouncing up and down quite conspicuously.

Kate was completely caught off guard by the impromptu contest of hotness and ended up just copying Vicky’s moves.

One month ago, Alkim was sure this would have been an instant Vicky victory, but a lot had changed since then. Indeed, the bartender’s eyes practically jumped from their sockets at the sight of Kate’s acres of pale cleavage resting on the countertop, jiggling in long waves down each giant titty.

Almost instantaneously he dropped his conversation with the merely pretty patron and was speed walking over to the dynamic duo.

“Hi there, what can I get for you ladies?” He was leaning forward intently, as if getting a few inches closer was required to hear their drink orders.

“I’ll have an old fashioned,” said Vicky.

“Long Island,” Kate.

Alkim leaned over in front of Kate’s boobs. “Screwdriver for me.”

“Coming right up.”

Vicky ribbed him, “Such a college boy pick.”

She wasn’t wrong, but Alkim was still on a budget, and oranges were his favorite fruit anyway. He didn’t get to have them as often as he liked, since the citric acid interfered with the uptake of Adderall. But that wasn’t a problem for him anymore.

As predicted, the bartender began making Kate’s drink first.

Can’t say I blame him.

But Vicky wasn’t done yet.

“So, I was talking to Leah at the front, and she was saying you guys might be looking for another bartender?”

His head snapped up immediately. “Oh yeah. We could always use another pair of hands. Do you have any bartending experience?”

“Sure do! I just got back from working the bar at this hotel in Hawaii, and before that Benihana, and lots of other titty bars and strip clubs before that.”

“Excellent.” He’d already finished making Kate’s drink but had not yet deposited it on the bar within her reach. “Good enough for me. If you can email a copy of your resume to our manager, I’m sure we can get you an interview soon.”

“Perfect!”’ Vicky already had her phone out, “What’s his email?”

The bartender gave it to her while he made her drink.

“Thank you so much!”

“No problem, happy to help.” He grabbed Vicky’s old fashioned and set it down in front of her, followed by Kate’s Long Island. “Sorry, I almost forgot to ask: what’s your name? So I can tell my manager to keep an eye out for your email.”

“Vicky.”

‘Nice to meet you, Vicky. I’m Brian.” He held out his hand, and Vicky shook it enthusiastically.

“Nice to meet you too, Brian.”

Belatedly, Brian the bartender realized his lapse and turned back to Alkim.

“Sorry my man, what did you order again?”

“Just a screwdriver.”

“Gotcha. One screwdriver, coming right up.”

Alkim couldn’t even be mad. Not like I would have done any better.

Vicky leaned in between Kate and Alkim to whisper, “I win.”

She most definitely had won, handedly, and possibly gotten herself a job at the same time.

You could drop Vicky anywhere on the planet, and she’d find her way in days. Not even Kate’s boobs could top Vicky’s natural glamour.

Brian handed Alkim his screwdriver, and Vicky generously covered all three drinks. Her way of thanking them for a fun night out.

Now, drinks in hand, they made their way to a corner table, not-so stealthily pulled the flask from Kate’s tits and topped off everyone’s drinks.

Vicky lifted her glass. “A toast to my besties! I’m so glad we’re living and partying together again!”

“And we’re all so glad to have you back!” Alkim raised his glass

“We missed you, bitch,” Kate added.

“To the Homecoming Queen!” Alkim cheered.

They all let out various whoops and woos, clinked their glasses together, and drank.

“Blah, now it's way too strong,” said Kate.

“Speak for yourself,” said Alkim, “I still need more ****.”

“Then let’s swap,” said Kate.

Alkim let her take his. He didn’t really like Long Island Iced Tea, but he knew it had more **** than his screwdriver.

Fuck, the pregaming and smuggled booze aren’t going to be enough to get me buzzed tonight. My metabolism is working like crazy today.

Alkim recalled that one time an MD/PhD at a UCLA party had once called his sky-high **** tolerance “medically interesting,” and had invited him to join a study on alcoholism in college students. He’d declined, since he knew he would have graduated before the study ended, and he’d expected to be far beyond that zip code soon after.

Now that Alkim knew his strange physiology went far beyond a merely elevated tolerance to **** and ****, that conversation took on a new significance. He wondered if those tests would have picked up any anomalies in his enzymatic activity.

Then the lightbulb went off.

Oh, duh! I can try cutting my production of **** dehydrogenase! If I do that, then I should be able to get drunk off way less ****, like a normal person!

Alkim had so far only used his powers to create chemicals. This would be his first time intentionally preventing his body from performing its natural detoxification functions.

He decided it was worth a shot, and focused on his liver, cutting further production of ADH by more than half. Now, he shouldn’t process **** as quickly.

This should be a fun experiment.

The process had taken up his focus for the last few seconds, and so he hadn’t paid attention to anything the others had said.

“Mmmm, yeah, Alkim’s is better,” said Kate.

“Can I try?” asked Vicky.

Kate gave her the glass without thinking about it, realized what she’d done, and stared directly at Alkim.

Too late. Vicky had already sipped from the same glass as Alkim.

Oh fuck, I didn’t talk with Kate about not exposing Vicky to… me.

In fact, he hadn’t given the subject much thought at all. He’d been happy enough just to have her back, and with his balls being drained so regularly, his low-level infatuation with Vicky hadn’t occupied his mind the way it had when he’d first reconnected with her.

One sip is probably nothing, barely perceptible.

“Mhmmmm! Damnnnn, that is good! Basic, but still good!”

Or maybe not.

Before Alkim and Kate could do more than exchange glances, Vicky abruptly stood up and waved.

“Yoo, Hannah!”

“Hey.” Hannah set her purse down on the table and took her seat next to Vicky. “I was looking all over for you guys.”

“And you found us! Should we toast again?” Vicky suggested.

Alkim looked at Kate, shrugged, and picked up his drink, “What are we drinking to this time?”

“To the best housemates a girl could ask for.”

Judging by Hannah’s face, she did not see their relationship the same way, but she toasted with them all the same.

“Geonbae!” cheered Vicky. Kate, and Alkim.

“Cheers,” cheered Hannah, just not so cheerfully.

They all drank again. Alkim’s eyes stayed on Vicky. Thankfully Kate did not share her contaminated drink again.

“Ahhh,” Vicky’s gaze met Alkim’s “Ready to dance?”

“Always.”

The two downed the rest of their drinks and stood up from the booth.

“You coming?” Vicky asked Kate and Hannah.

“Actually, I’m gonna go find a nice guy to buy me a drink, I’ll catch you later,” said Hannah.

“Okay, have fun.”

“Same. Wait no, I mean I’m gonna find a girl to dance with,” said Kate.

“If you find someone, bring her here! I want us all to dance together!” Vicky called out.

Kate gave a thumbs up. “Will do.” And with that, she was gone, off in search of lesbians.

Alkim sighed, “I asked her not to invite her newest soon-to-be ex-girlfriend so we could all stick together, but clearly she didn’t agree with that part of the plan.”

“Ugh, I know right. Shame Kate’s such an incurable pussy hound, I really wanted to see those huuuuge titties bounce.”

“Oh my god, right? Talk about a milkshake.”

“Damn, right, it’s better than yours!”

They laughed heartily.

“Fuck, dude. You should have seen us trying to get them into that corset, they’re sooo crazy huge. Almost gave me a nosebleed.”

“I can imagine.”

“Have you seen all of them yet? Does she still walk around topless?” asked Vicky.

“Can a tiger lose its stripes?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, yeah, of course she still doesn’t cover her tits. Probably even less now that they’re a lot harder to cover up. She started stealing my old shirts, but I don’t think even a man's large tee is enough for those melons.”

“I bet! And yours are always so tight.” She palmed the line between Alkim’s pecs.

He nodded. “Gotta keep it tight, for the bitches.”

“Oh yeah? You trying to go home with a stranger tonight?” Vicky asked with a grin and a raised eyebrow.

Alkim turned his palms up and shrugged noncommittally, “I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Well, keep an eye out. If they see you dancing with a hottie, they’ll be more into you.”

“Won’t they just think I’m taken?”

“Just let me know if you see someone you want to dance with, and I’ll give you some space.”

“Thanks, but I think I’d rather just dance with the best tonight.”

“Awww!” Vicky took Alkim’s hand and guided him past scores of less beautiful women.

The main event hadn’t started yet, and the dance floor was not yet near capacity. This meant they had a lot of room to work with.

Electronic sounds and club lights of every wavelength cut through the fog around them, vaguely reminding Alkim of his childhood laser tag arena that couldn’t stop playing Darude’s “Sandstorm.”

It wasn’t really his thing, and this wasn’t really his crowd, with one gorgeous exception.

Vicky was absolutely in her element, moving and grooving with feline grace (despite her wolf tattoo). As the disco lights shifted and changed, Alkim watched her pale-blonde hair light up with every color, like some Electronic-Dance-Medusa.

See her dance, and part of you turns to stone.

Of course, Alkim was dancing way too intensely to maintain a boner, for which he was thankful. Potential embarrassment aside, he needed every ounce of blood in his legs to keep up with this insanely rapid beat.

Where she was graceful, deliberate, practiced, Alkim was agile, and chaotic. He twisted his hips, he stepped, shuffled his feet, shook his legs, all the while having no clue what to do with his hands. He just kept thinking of tropical birds, with their silly little dances to impress females. It was all improv, and he was so sure everyone could tell he had no idea what he was doing.

Far from it, as it turned out. What he lacked in artistry, he made up for in athleticism.

He never really thought of himself as a good dancer before he started clubbing with Vicky, but he always got the most compliments on nights when they danced together.

She wasn’t wrong about the effects of dancing with a hottie like her. He’d already clocked at least three or four women on the dance floor making very deliberate eye contact, and one who’d been bold enough to crook a finger in his direction.

But he had no intention of trading down, not when he had the Dancing Queen on his arm. Her energy was infectious. Every second he spent with her made him less of a snob, less of a killjoy.

Alkim knew he was never going to come around to Vicky’s love of EDM, or her love for DJs—They don’t even make their own music!—but he didn’t go clubbing with Vicky because he loved her music; he went because she could make him love dancing to music he hated.

That’s why Alkim loved dancing with Vicky.

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Chapter 21 is already up (16k words): Alkim makes a very unusual lease agreement with Kate's landlady...