"Silly Betty" - A celebrated classic TV Show

Silly Betty (1954-1958)

Genre: Comedy, Family

Tagline: She's a handful... and she's about to get one!

Overview:

This beloved and zany 1950s sitcom follows the misadventures of Betty Henderson, a beautiful but hopelessly ditzy young housewife with a knack for finding trouble. Each episode sees Betty's well-intentioned schemes and hilarious misunderstandings inevitably lead to chaos and, ultimately, corporal correction. Whether being soundly spanked by her exasperated but loving husband Arnold for her disobedience, or receiving a humiliating punishment from a neighbor or authority figure for her latest blunder, Betty's predicaments are always resolved with a lesson learned the hard way. A lighthearted look at marriage and mischief, "Silly Betty" serves up endless laughs and a firm-handed reminder that a well-punished wife is a happy wife.

Episode 1: "A Pie in the Sky Idea"

[SCENE START]

INT. HENDERSON'S KITCHEN - DAY

The kitchen is a picture of 1950s domestic bliss, all mint green and chrome. BETTY HENDERSON, a curvaceous 20-something blonde in a frilly apron over a swishing blue floral dress, stares forlornly at an empty pie tin on the counter. Her husband, ARNOLD HENDERSON, a solid, sensible man in a cardigan, enters, sniffing the air.

ARNOLD

"Mmm, something smells... like disappointment. Where's that apple pie you promised, Betty? I've been dreaming of it all the way home from the golf course."

BETTY

(Wringing her hands)

"Oh, Arnold! It's a catastrophe! The grocer said apples are out of season! Can you imagine? A world without apple pie? It's un-American!"

ARNOLD

(Chuckling indulgently)

"Now, Betty, you know what Dr. Philmore on the radio says. A wife's resourcefulness is the spice of a happy home. You should have planned ahead." He walks over and lands a hard smack across her left bum cheek, which jiggles pleasantly. She yelps, scrunching her nose.

BETTY

(Her eyes go wide with a "brilliant" idea)

"But Arnold! I just had the most resourceful thought! Old Mr. Abernathy's orchard, right next door! His trees are just bursting with big, red, juicy... temptations!"

ARNOLD

(Sternly)

"Now Betty, Abernathy is a grumpy old man who chases kids off his lawn with a hose. You are not to set one foot in his orchard. Is that understood?"

BETTY

(Fluttering her eyelashes)

"Crystal clear, my dear husband! I would never, ever do something so silly!"

THE AUDIENCE CHUCKLES

Arnold gives her a suspicious look but heads into the living room with his newspaper.

INT. HENDERSON'S HALL CLOSET - LATER

Betty, now without her apron, tiptoes to the back door. She holds a wicker basket.

BETTY

(To herself, in a whisper)

"I'll just borrow a few. He'll never miss them. And Arnold's pie will be the talk of the bridge club! What could possibly go wrong?"

She slips out the door with a mischievous grin.

EXT. ABERNATHY ORCHARD - DAY

Betty creeps through a break in the hedge. The orchard is lush, the apples indeed look perfect. She begins gleefully plucking them, filling her basket.

BETTY

(Singing to herself)

"He loves me, he loves me not, he'll love me when this pie is got..."

She spots the perfect apple, hanging high on a gnarled old tree. She stretches, but can't reach. Seeing a low-hanging branch, she gets a foolishly brave idea. She hooks her basket over her arm, grabs the branch, and hoists herself up.

BETTY

(Grunting)

"Oof! Betty Henderson, you're as nimble as a... as a..."

There is a loud CRACK followed by an even louder RRRIP!

Betty falls, then jolts to a stop mid-air. The branch she'd been standing on has broken, but the back of her dress is firmly caught on the sharp, broken end. She is dangling about a foot off the ground, held aloft by her the back of her skirt. Her generously curved, white-pantied bottom is completely exposed to the breeze—and to anyone who might be looking.

AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

BETTY

(Gasping)

"Oh, my stars! This is a pickle of the most undignified variety!"

She wiggles, trying to free herself, but only succeeds in swinging gently back and forth.

EXT. ORCHARD - ANOTHER ANGLE

GRUMPY OLD MR. ABERNATHY (70s, overalls, perpetually scowling) emerges from his tool shed, holding a long, whippy switch he was about to use on a stubborn weed. He hears the commotion and stomps over.

MR. ABERNATHY

"Aha! A fruit pilferer! Betty Henderson! I might have known!"

BETTY

(Peeking over her shoulder)

"Mr. Abernathy! This isn't what it looks like! I was just... dusting your tree! For mites!"

MR. ABERNATHY

"Heh. Looks to me like you're presenting the evidence of your crime, young lady. And the punishment fits the crime."

He flexes the switch. It makes a terrifying SWOOSH sound.

BETTY

"Oh, no! Not the switch! My poor posterior!"

MR. ABERNATHY

"This'll learn you to respect a man's property!"

THWIP! He gives her a stinging lick with the switch right across her seated cushions.

BETTY

YEEOWWCH! That smarts!

THWIP!

BETTY

Ooh! Ouch!

THWIP!

BETTY

"I'm sorry! I'll never borrow again! Well, I might, but I'll feel very guilty about it!"

MR. ABERNATHY

"Borrow!? Were you planning on returning the apples, you little harridan? I think I need a better view of my target, and progress!"

Mr. Abernathy tucks the switch under his arm, steps forward, and swiftly pulls Betty's white panties down to her ankles. Her generous, extraordinarily round bottom shows evidence of a handprint from her husband, earlier, and several angry red welts criss-crossing the cheeks. Mr. Abernathy, and the audience, both get a generous view of her bare behind, as well as her smooth, pink, feminine charms between her thighs.

After two dozen more well-placed licks of the switch, Mr. Abernathy, satisfied, reaches up and unceremoniously tears her dress free. Betty, her face streaked with tears, tumbles to the ground in a heap, dropping her apples. She scrambles to her feet, rubbing her sore bottom, and shuffles away, her panties still at her ankles, as she flees the orchard without her basket.

INT. HENDERSON'S LIVING ROOM - LATER

Arnold is in his armchair. Betty creeps in, trying to walk normally.

ARNOLD

"Betty? Where's that pie? And why are you walking like you've been riding a horse all day?"

Betty bursts into tears and confesses the whole story, complete with dramatic re-enactments.

ARNOLD

(Sighing deeply)

"Betty, Betty, Betty. I gave you a direct order. You disobeyed me, you stole, and you made a spectacle of yourself for the whole neighborhood to see. Dr. Philmore says disobedience, like a weed, must be plucked out firmly."

He stands up and takes his seat on the sofa, patting his knee meaningfully.

BETTY

(Whimpering)

"Not again! Arnold, it's been such a trying day! I promise, Mr. Abernathy's switch was very persuasive!"

ARNOLD

"Then my hand will have to be the encore. Come here, young lady."

With a resigned sigh, Betty shuffles over and lays herself across his knees. Her already-switched bottom is poised for more.

ARNOLD

"This is for your own good. A well-spanked wife is a happy wife."

His hand comes down with a sharp SPANK!

BETTY

"WAHHHH! The pie was for you!"

SPANK! SPANK!

ARNOLD

"And this is for disobeying your husband!"

SPANK! SPANK! SPANK!

Betty kicks her feet and wails, the picture of comedic despair. After a final, resonant SPANK!, Arnold helps her up.

ARNOLD

(Cheerfully)

"Now, let's see about getting a store-bought pie. And no more silly ideas."

Betty, tears in her eyes, rubs her doubly-sore bottom and nods vigorously.

BETTY

(To the camera, with a wobbly smile)

"You know, I think from now on, I'll stick to Jell-O molds. They're much less... punishing!"

She gives a little hop and a wince as she sits carefully on a cushion Arnold has thoughtfully provided.

[AUDIENCE ROARS WITH LAUGHTER]

[SCENE END]