Good Night

I lie on the bed crying. Dirk's semen seeps out of my vagina.

That swine.

When he was done, he just left. Without a word. Without one last touch.

“You bastard, I never want to see you again!” I want to scream, but I remain silent.

What if I really do get pregnant? That would be a disaster. Could I convince Thomas that the child is his? Did I even want that, and then have to live with a lie for the rest of my life?

Fortunately, the chance of that happening today is very slim.

The door opens. Startled, I hold my breath and pull the covers up to my chin.

My husband comes in and sits down next to me on the edge of the bed.

“I'm sorry I fell asleep. I was pretty exhausted. I hope I didn't ruin your evening?”

I shake my head. I don't dare answer out loud because I'm afraid my voice might betray what's going on inside me.

“Maybe I can make it up to you?” He raises his eyebrows and winks at me as he unbuttons his shirt, crumpled on his body.

He gently strokes my hair. If he notices how sweaty I am, he doesn’t let on. He leans down, purses his lips, closes his eyes. I turn away. Instead of kissing my lips, he kisses me on the cheek.

“Not now. I have a headache.”

His eyes cloud over. I feel sorry for him, but there's nothing I can do. He mustn't see me like this. It would destroy him. And our marriage, and me along with it.

He puts on his pajamas, lies down on his side in bed, and turns his back to me.

As agitated as I am, I can't fall asleep. I stare into the darkness at the ceiling.

I can tell from Thomas's calm, steady breathing that he has fallen asleep. I carefully slide off the mattress so as not to wake him. I tiptoe out of the room.

I urgently need to go to the bathroom to clean myself up.

On the way there, I pass Sina's door. The thought of Dirk lying behind it makes my legs weak. I brace myself against the wall with one hand.

Is he asleep? Is he still awake? Should I talk to him about what happened? Tell him it has to end?

I can't bring myself to confront him.

In the bathroom, I throw the smeared skirt into the laundry basket. I squat down in the shower tub and rinse myself off. Between my legs.

Oh. Hmm! So sensitive. So... good.

Even though I don't want to, I picture his huge cock in front of me. I imagine how it feels when he's inside me. I have to admit to myself that I want to feel that again soon. Absolutely.

The shower jet massages me where it feels best.

Not enough.

My hand steals down, two fingers slide into my pussy.

Not enough!

I growl in frustration. Why didn't Dirk let me cum? I needed it so badly.

But my head wasn't in it. His question about contraception threw me off. I couldn't enjoy how he took me. It's impossible to have an orgasm when I'm not focused.

Now it's like scales falling from my eyes. That was what he wanted. He didn't want me to be satisfied so that I would crave more of him as soon as possible.

And damn it, it works.