What We Could Be

The campus was still as Ethan, Penny, and Alice trudged through the entrance gates, their breath visible in the crisp November air. The PRL match had kept them out late, the walkways covered in undisturbed snow. Alice, hands deep in her pockets for warmth, turned to them with a tired smile.

"Alright, I’m beat. Goodnight, guys," she said, waving as she split off toward her dorm.

"Night, Alice," Ethan called after her. Penny echoed the sentiment, looping her arm through Ethan’s, the two of them heading toward his room, Penny still excited from the match.

As they walked through the quiet hallways, Penny began to whisper, her voice still animated as she relived the day’s match. "Did you see that final play? I mean, I still can’t believe Ironclad pulled off that streak at the end, he was alone against those forge knights and still managed to get hits in. And the way Shadowfang managed to counter the sword wielding knight, great sword to great sword, his footwork was incredible! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time."

Ethan chuckled, unlocking his door and holding it open for her. "Yeah, I may have to lighten up on the Shadowfang trash talk for the near future. I think they’ve got some new tricks up their sleeves, I don’t think we saw everything they had tonight. I have to wonder how Ironclad would have fared if they hadn’t slipped up and lost their support early, that really cost them the entire match."

Inside, the small room felt cozy, the faint tings of the radiator creaking breaking the quiet. Clothes were shed down to underwear as they climbed into Ethan’s narrow bed, the familiar squeaks of the mattress settling beneath them. They cuddled, heads propped on pillows, the dim light from a street lamp through the window casting soft shadows across the room.

Their conversation drifted to Grace and how she was fitting in with the team. Penny’s brow furrowed slightly as she spoke. "Do you think Grace will want a bond soon? It already feels like she’s a part of the team, but.."

Ethan sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don’t know. She’s hard to read sometimes. I’ve tried to get a sense of where she stands, but she keeps her cards close on the topic. She’s brought it up a few times, I’ve made sure that she understands that taking her time isn’t a problem."

Penny bit her lip, her fingers tracing idle circles on his chest. "What if she never wants one? Do we... do we replace her with someone who does? I mean, how would we even go about looking for someone like that?"

Ethan’s gaze drifted to the ceiling, thoughtful. "It’s not simple. A Bond isn’t just about the team dynamic, it’s personal. I don’t think that the sexual aspect of it is what’s holding Grace up, though. I think it's the commitment. I don’t think it’s going to be like with Mei, where she came around to the idea pretty quickly. We’ve known her longer than Grace in a lot of ways."

The mention of Mei shifted the tone of their talk. Penny propped herself up on an elbow, her curiosity piqued. "Speaking of Mei, how have things been with her lately? I mean, with the whole... Essence thing and all."

Ethan frowned, his voice quieter. "It’s... fine, I guess. We’ve fallen into a routine. When we generate Essence to Imbue, it’s very clinical. Like, no emotion, just getting the job done. The first time we were together, though, it felt different, intimate. And that kiss you pushed for in the break room? That had something to it. But after that, it’s just been... practical. No spark. Just sex for the sake of the ability."

Penny looked at him, her voice soft but probing. "Is that what you want, though? Just practical?"

Ethan exhaled sharply, his jaw tightening. "No. Honestly, that’s been my fear from the start. That someone would only want me for my class abilities, for what I can do for them. Just some transactional thing. But with Mei, there’s stuff I do enjoy about her. The way she trains, for example. She’s got this intense focus, like nothing can shake her. And she’s always got a cool head, even in the middle of a fight. She’s confident, not cocky, just sure of herself. It’s... impressive. And the way she teaches others, never talking down, always willing to help, that’s something I admire. Plus, when she got embarrassed during intimate moments, it’s kind of cute. You should have seen it when she took my hand during the raid… But I haven’t pushed for more. I’m worried it’s not just shyness about sex. What if she’s actually against getting closer?"

As Ethan spoke, Penny listened, her own thoughts swirling. She was surprised by the lack of jealousy stirring in her chest. Shouldn’t she feel something hearing her boyfriend talk about another woman like this? Was she strange for not minding? Doubt crept in. Would Ethan think she didn’t love him if she didn’t react? Her inner conflict felt like a pit in her chest, torn between voicing these fears or keeping them buried.

Ethan noticed her sudden quiet, the way her gaze drifted off. After years together, he knew that look. He rolled onto his side and reached out, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Hey, what’s on your mind? I can tell something’s up."

Penny hesitated, her lips parting as if to speak before closing again. He squeezed her hand gently. "Hey, honesty’s never steered us wrong. I want to know what’s worrying you. You don’t have to carry it alone, you know that."

She sighed, her voice small at first. "I... I’m worried about how I feel. Or, I guess, how I don’t feel. When you talk about Mei, about being with her, I… don’t feel jealous. And I’m scared that it makes you think I don’t love you. Like, is it normal to not feel jealous? And I keep pushing you to use your class with other women. Alice, then Mei. But what if that messes us up? I knew things would change when this all started. The idea of it excited me, still does, honestly. But I’m scared that the changes mean we won’t be as close as we’ve always been."

Ethan pulled her closer, his voice steady and warm. "Penny, I’ve never doubted for a second that you love me. Never. Yeah, I was surprised at first that you weren’t jealous… and the way you’ve encouraged me to be with others, even under the guise of my class, wasn’t something I expected. But if you wanted me to stop with Alice or Mei, I’d stop in a heartbeat. I do love Alice, and I enjoy being around Mei, maybe even thinking there could be more there. None of it compares to us. The years we’ve spent together, knowing we just... work. When we decided we wanted to get married, it was because I knew I wanted to spend my life with you. That hasn’t changed. My class threw us into a weird direction, sure, but you enjoying the implications of it? That’s not wrong.”

He paused, then added, "And honestly, I don’t think I could be in a sexual relationship with just anyone. There needs to be a connection. This clinical stuff with Mei, it’s already wearing on me."

Penny’s eyes softened, and she suggested, "Maybe you need to spend some time with Mei alone. One on one, outside of the routine. See if there’s something more there."

Ethan nodded slowly. "I’ve thought about that. But I was afraid it’d be crossing a boundary with you. So I haven’t asked."

She squeezed his hand, her tone reassuring. "It wouldn’t be. If you’ve got an idea, go for it. I’m okay with it."

"Alright," he said with a small smile. "I’ll think about it. Promise."

They lay there together, the weight of their honesty settling between them. Penny looked into his eyes and murmured, "I love you."

"I love you too," Ethan replied, leaning in to kiss her. The kiss lingered, deepening as it went on, both of them putting the love they had for the other into it.

Penny rolled on top of him, straddling his waist as their kiss stretched on. Ethan’s hands roamed her body, fingers brushing over the sensitive spots along her hip bones that always made her shiver. She could feel his intent, the way he was trying to rile her up, and she slid a hand down between them, finding him already half-hard through his boxers. She squeezed, drawing a low groan from him as their lips stayed locked.

"Take these off," she whispered against his mouth as she tugged at his waistband. Ethan complied, shimmying out of his boxers while Penny shed her bra and panties, sliding back under the covers against the chill air of the room. She climbed back onto him, straddling his hips as he lay on his back.

The kiss renewed as she teased him, holding herself up on her elbows, grinding herself along his length, feeling herself grow slick with each slow drag of her lips over him. She reached down, sliding two fingers into herself, then pulling them out to spread her wetness over his cock. Lining him up, she eased down slowly, taking him in inch by inch, a soft moan escaping as he filled her completely.

Leaning forward, she kissed him again, her hands braced on his chest. "I love you so much," she breathed.

"I love you too," he murmured back, his hands gripping her hips. They moved together, slow and deliberate, each thrust a testament to their connection. It wasn’t rushed or frantic, just intentional, every drop of Essence, every touch a reminder of how much they meant to each other. Their rhythm built gradually, their breathing growing heavy, until they reached their peak together, Ethan spilling into her as she shuddered above him.

Penny collapsed onto his chest, keeping him inside her as they caught their breath. She felt him soften slowly, the warmth of their bodies pressed together. They lay there, basking in the afterglow, her worries banished by his touch, by his words. Banished by his love.

Ethan pressed the button for Mei’s apartment, letting her know he had arrived. She buzzed him in and he made his way upstairs, knocking on her door.

“It's open!” She called from inside.

He stepped inside, glancing around for her. “Mei?”

“Give me a minute and I’ll be out”

When Ethan saw her, he forgot what he’d meant to say.

She stood by the door, a soft cream jacket held in her hands. She wore a black slip dress that traced the lines of her body, neckline trimmed in a delicate lace against the white turtleneck she wore beneath the dress. A slim belt on her waist with a golden buckle drew the look together. The contrast of the outfit between the black and white made her appear sharper, more vivid than the rest of the room around her.

Ethan realized he was staring.

”You look…” He stopped himself as the words came out too quickly. “You look amazing, Mei.”

She smiled, cheeks flushing at his compliment. “Thank you.” She smoothed her dress as she looked at him, the simple movement, the ease of it disarming.

“The jacket is a good choice. It suits you.” She put on her winter coat, buttoning it up against the cold. A black knit scarf followed next. Once Bundled up, she turned to Ethan. “Ready?”

They left, making the quick walk to the light rail station.

“What made you suggest the theatre?”

“When you ran into us at dinner, you had mentioned you’d just come from the Orpheum.” He led them into the covered shelter, hoping to escape from the wind. “The only time I’ve seen a play live was back in high school, a field trip. I hadn’t expected to like it, but I did. Loved it, actually. When I saw an ad for the Guthrie doing their yearly production of A Christmas Carol, bringing you was the first thing that came to mind.”

They huddled together under the heat lamps, waiting for the train to arrive. He glanced at her, and then away. “We haven’t really had time together outside of training.” he said, finally. “And if that’s all we ever are, just teammates, well.. I think I’d regret it.”

The way he’d taken one careless remark and woven it into an entire night together… Mei pressed her scarf higher over her face to hide her smile at the thought.

The train pulled into the station and they boarded. It was crowded, but they found a spot to stand together and watch as the snow covered city passed them by. Mei leaned back against him, comfortable, the fresh snow giving the city that ethereal feeling it always had before the city woke up again. The yellow glow of the streetlights reflecting off the snow lit up the scenery, making everything look pristine, the snow covering the dirt and grime that inevitably built up as people went about their lives.

It was a short walk from the light rail station to the theatre, its profile impossible to miss, the long suspended arm of the building stretching out towards the Mississippi river. Quickly making their way inside they checked their tickets and hopped on the escalators to make their way to the lounge. “Do you want a drink?” Ethan asked as they walked forward towards the bar where other theatre goers were relaxing, waiting for the show to start.

Mei’s head gave a small tilt to the left as she thought. “Something warm, I think.” They made their way over to the bar, browsing the offerings. “Ooh, mulled wine. I’ve always wanted to try some.”

Ethan made his way to the bar, ordering a mug of mulled wine and a hot toddy. The bartender quickly handed him two cups, steam rising up, cinnamon sticks pointing out from both. As he handed the drink to Mei she held it with both hands, savoring the warmth of the mug.

The scent of the spices in the wine were sharp as Mei took her first sip, eyes going wide. “Oh my god, this is delicious. I should’ve tried this years ago.”

Ethan smiled at her reaction, loving the way her eyes lit up as she took her first sip. “I got myself a hot toddy, if you want to try?”

She nodded eagerly, taking a taste as he passed his drink to her. He laughed as her face scrunched up. “I should have asked what was in it. It’s whiskey, right?”

“Whiskey, honey, lemon,” he answered. “I grew up with my dad making them, it was his go-to cocktail for our holiday parties. He made a huge ordeal out of it when he made me my first one after I was able to drink. Bought special cups and everything!” He laughed at the memory. “I think he secretly just wanted an excuse to buy a new set of glasses.”

She smiled at the story and quickly passed the drink back to him, returning to the much better tasting wine. “Want to brave the cold again?” She gestured towards the balcony.

Nodding, Ethan stuck out his arm and Mei took it as they walked outwards to the viewing area. The wind was sharp as they stepped through the doors, up high and over the river with little to block the cold gusts. They walked to the edge of the balcony, an endless bridge that reached out towards the river. Mei tucked in tight and used Ethan as protection from the wind as they reached the railing. The water was dark as it ran beneath the stone arch bridge that stretched across to the far bank of the Mississippi, the lights of the bridge casting reflections on the water.

“I’m really happy you asked me out tonight,” she spoke against his chest.

“I was so nervous. It felt like we had fallen into a routine, not just training, but also everything around it. Like Imbueing was becoming this rote activity to be gotten over with,” he paused to take a sip of his drink. “I don’t want it to be like that.”

He felt her nodding against his chest as he looked out over the river. “I wasn’t sure how to say it without it feeling weird. It felt perfect when the idea for the night came to me, a chance to know you beyond being teammates, beyond just my Class.”

An announcement came over the loudspeakers, informing them that seating was beginning.

“Let’s get out of the cold, come on,” he led the two of them back inside. They made their way into the line, finding their seats center stage.

Every moment of the show highlighted the decades of tradition the theatre boasted, running the play every year since 1975. From the sets to the wardrobe, to the actors themselves, the show was fantastic. The opening scene of the show had 30 different actors, all working together to give the preamble to the play, one line at a time. Ethan marveled at the way they managed to take the audience and put them into the story. The visuals for the three ghosts were Mei’s favorite part, with the Ghost of Christmas Present the best of them. She gushed about the dress the ghost wore, long and white; with fur on the hems, cuffs, and collar. The silver sequins ran up the waist, with four rows of green garland, all topped with a crown of golden rays.

By the time they were leaving the theater, the snow had let up to no more than a light flurry, leaving a light dusting over the streets as they walked out into the cold.

“We’ll grab dinner there,” Ethan pointed to the next building over. “Farmer’s Kitchen.”

They walked into the restaurant, the tables filling quickly as the crowd made their way out of the theatre. A long wooden bar sat at the front of the restaurant, the wall above it covered in quotes that spoke to the way the restaurant sourced their ingredients.

“Oh my god, this is delicious,” Mei exclaimed as she tasted the wild rice soup. “When I first heard wild rice was a Minnesota specialty I was wondering what could be so special about wild rice, how could it be any different from domestic rice?” she grinned at her own joke. “But I get it now.”

“When I was younger, Alice and I went to a summer camp where they brought all of the kids out to harvest the rice.” Ethan spoke between spoonfuls of his own bowl. “All of it’s done by hand from a canoe. You go through the shallows where it grows and bend the grains over the canoe and knock the ripe grains into the bottom using two sticks.”

Mei felt quietly pleased as Ethan told the story, happy that she and Ethan finally had time to sit and trade the small, honest stories. The memories that aren’t rehearsed anecdotes, the sort that help show who the other person is. The small details he chose to share, the jokes, the awkward moments.

“Has your family always been here? I assumed from the way you, Alice, and Grace have talked, but I haven’t really asked.”

“Yea, up north a couple of hours, but close enough. It was a small town compared to the cities, but I loved it.” Comfortable silence fell as they ate, waiting for their entrees. The smell was divine when they arrived, the freshly cooked walleye still letting wisps of steam rise up as the plates were set down.

“I was worried, too,” Mei said, changing the subject. “About the way things were becoming routine. It was kind of the easy thing to do, not wanting to flaunt your class in Grace’s face.”

“We let too much time pass without doing this, didn’t we?”

“We did.. Tonight is more than making up for lost time, though.”

Ethan smiled, feeling the sincerity in Mei’s words. “It really is.”

It was as they walked out of the restaurant that Mei made her move. She felt as if the entire night had been leading up to this moment. They’d been teammates for nearly two months. Spent countless hours training together. She knew him, yet this night felt as if this was the first time they’d really met. The first time they’d introduced each other to who they were outside of being teammates. Of being Class Marked. Outside the requirements of his class.

She didn’t hesitate. “Ethan.”

Her heart was pounding as she called his name, pulse racing as she made the decision to act.

He spun back around as she called to him. Her hands gripped the front of his jacket and her heart felt like it skipped a beat, a moment of doubt leaping up before she could squash it, wondering if he’d pull away, if she’d misread the night.

When their lips met, the doubt vanished.

It felt sudden, like an electric release of all the tension and unspoken feelings that had been simmering away for weeks. The feelings that had come boiling over tonight.

The kiss was warm, softer than she’d expected, yet when he kissed her back she could feel the urgency he felt, like he’d been waiting for this moment and she’d beaten him to it. She felt everything. The way his hands moved to her hips, the cold air of the snowy night biting at her cheeks, the taste of the restaurant mint on his breath.

There was an honesty to the kiss, as if it felt like they were finally shedding the roles and expectations that they had built for themselves, that had kept them at a distance. A bridge from who they were to who they could be.

When they finally parted, their breath came out in small, visible puffs in the cold air. She still held him close, searching his eyes for his reaction, hoping to find that he was feeling the same way she was.

Ethan froze for a heartbeat, stunned in that sort of wordless manner where everything else; the sounds of cars passing by, the sting of the cold air, all faded as her lips met his. Mei had always been the steady, measured one, in training: hair tucked, eyes focused, spells precise. Ever practical about his class and what they did for Essence. This was the new Mei he had met tonight, the braver, bolder Mei that he was discovering had always been there.

Excitement was next. He felt it in his chest, the kind of happiness that brings those butterflies everyone spoke about. He’d expected to be the one to step forward first, the one to kiss her. Her taking the lead was unexpected, new. When he met her eyes, he saw how she’d taken the leap first, risked the balance between friendship and something more.

They walked to the station wordlessly, the kiss settling between them as they walked arm in arm. At the platform, the train’s arrival felt like it marked an end to one portion of the night, and a transition to the next. Mei took the window seat, Ethan’s shoulder touching hers as he sat beside her.

As they left the train, beginning their walk back, they met eyes again.

“Do you want to-?”

“Yes.”

Author’s Note:

The locations mentioned here are all real. The Orpheum hosts touring Broadway shows, and the Guthrie is a resident theater that produces its own plays. They do A Christmas Carol every year, and I pulled the description for the dress of the Ghost of Christmas Present right from their audio description of the play. The way the whole cast come together to give the opening one line per cast member at a time was my favorite part of the performance. It has this effect on you that teleports you right into the 1840's Victorian era London setting in which the play takes place.

The date was inspired by my girlfriend and I taking a very similar evening to see the show, and we had dinner at the same restaurant I mentioned, Farmer's Kitchen. They actually do the farm to table experience, partnering with the Minnesota Farmers Union. The wild rice soup is that good that it was worth writing about. (Also try the bison and wild rice meatballs, those didn't make into the story, because.. meatball.. such an unsexy word.)

If you live anywhere in the vicinity of Minneapolis and haven't seen the show, please treat yourself and grab some tickets. You won't regret it, I promise.

The Guthrie really does have the endless bridge, and it may be hard to tell but it IS several stories up in the air. Each of the windows on the bridge are designed to give you a postcard view, which is why they're all differently shaped. The Mississippi river runs just beyond the edge of the balcony. It’s worth the quick google search to check it out, it’s a fun building.