False Alarm/Slavery 101

Sarah looks over at me from whatever she's focusing on and breaks up the awkward moment.

"Oh hey, babe! You've gotta see this! I've never seen one this big..."

I was pretty sure I didn't want to look at it. But as she grabs Darnell by the wrist and turns him in my direction, I see exactly what she's been staring at, and it's huge.

A long, deep scar, plastered right across Darnell's muscular gut. Beneath his ebony skin, I can still make out the outline of his abs, a rippling six-pack buried just under a thin layer of middle-aged pudge. In fact, every part of him is solid and intimidating, but this nasty scar still manages to stand out on his bare upper body.

"Wow..." I say, genuinely shocked at the sight. The dark scar is several shades darker than his milk chocolate complexion, and so jagged-looking that it's a miracle it ever healed. There had to be an interesting story to explain it, and I decide to test my luck by asking him about it, eager to hear the juicy details.

"How did it happen...?" I ask, setting down everyone's dinner on trays.

The grumpy look on Darnell's bearded face turns cooler as he glares down on me. "Punkass white boy and a CO... there was a riot, and those two motherfuckers thought they could kill me."

The way he talks becomes slower and his eyes glaze over a little, clearly reliving that life and **** struggle in his mind. It sounded like a prison guard and another prisoner, both white, tried to take him out during a prison riot.

"...I had to beat both their asses with a shiv stuck in my gut. That's why I can't stand white boys."

He looks back at me and seems to have a change of heart. "Except you, Leah. You're one of the good ones."

I didn't really know how to take any of that, but Sarah doesn't give me a chance to process it... or to correct my name. She bounces across the room to us excitedly, and nearly bowls me over when she jumps onto me and wraps me in a big hug. "Aww! I'm so glad my boys are getting along!"

With Sarah's hugging style, her big soft boobs are usually squashed against my face when she's excited, but I've never told her. It was like a nice little treat for myself, letting myself enjoy luxury for just a moment. But I regret this decision the moment she lets me go and bounds over to Darnell.

As she crashes into him the same way she did to me, Darnell has no problem with it. He squats down to brace himself and catches her easily, his big black hands gripping her plush bottom possessively as he lifts her up and carries her. Her arms wrap around his neck as she hugs her longtime friend, but his hands don't move from her butt. Her soft flesh molds around his strong hands, and I can hear a groan come from him as he holds my girlfriend against his big muscular body.

*Ahem...*

I clear my throat weakly, hoping they'll realize I'm getting pretty uncomfortable watching this. "...do you guys wanna watch a movie?"

Sarah drops down from Darnell's arms and goes back to the sofa, and plops down in front of her dinner. I go to join her, but she reaches out and covers the sofa cushion with her hand. "Babe, can I sit next to Darnell tonight? Please? It's his first night here..."

My night deflates in front of me as I discover I'll be the odd man out again. I wasn't worried about anything happening between them, Sarah isn't like that, but I didn't like that I wouldn't be able to cuddle with my girlfriend through the movie. But at least we could still watch something fun. I scroll through the streaming app, looking for movies until I get to the action movies.

"Maybe we could watch Avengers?" I offer. I was a big MCU fan, and nothing was more exciting than the big climactic crossovers and showdowns that marked the Avengers films. It's exactly what I would watch after 10 years in prison.

"Oh, fun!" squeals Sarah, clearly agreeing with my choice. She looks over to Darnell, waiting for him to confirm our choice. Except he doesn't.

"Nah... 12 Years A ****. I'd rather watch that."

12 Years A ****? I have to scroll back through our movie selection, and I see I had passed by it without even noticing. As I hover over it, I read the description. "A free black man is kidnapped and suffers 12 years of slavery under cruel white owners, learning the value of hope and. .."

"Umm... it sounds dramatic..." I don't know what else to say. This movie seems very heavy, nothing like the stuff Sarah and I usually watch; I was hoping my comment would convince her to gently reject Darnell's choice. Instead...

"Darnell, that sounds like your life! Of course we can watch it." She gives him a little hug from the side, and I can't help noticing the way her hands keep touching his muscular arms. Was she just being friendly, or...?

Dinner is a success. Sarah and Darnell dig in to the meal I prepared, and Darnell even compliments my cooking, jokingly saying I'll "make some man very happy".

The compliment is nice, but the movie is hard for me to get through. At only 2 hours and 14 minutes, it's not long; but the horrors of slavery aren't fun to watch for any length of time. The white guilt hangs heavy in the air as we all watch a movie about black slavery... with a man who didn't seem to like white people very much.

The more the main character, Northup, suffers through, the more Sarah seems to connect with the movie. By the end of the movie, at Northup's rescue, my girlfriend is in tears, crying on Darnell's shoulder.

"I can't believe it's a true story. Poor Northup..." Sarah looks visibly moved, her dainty white hands clutching her black friend's big bicep.

I decide to speak up and cut through the depression of the film. "I don't know, at least it turned out okay for him..." I'm trying to be positive about a depressing film, but Darnell cuts a look at me that makes me wither into the loveseat. I'd made a mistake.

"He turned out OKAY? So it's fine he had to suffer, had to lose his dignity, had to give up being a human to work and make money for a bunch of dumb-ass, hateful CRACKERS?!" The more he rants, the more riled up he gets, and Darnell has frightened both Sarah and I into submission.

"They beat him, **** and killed his friends, treated him worse than a fuckin' dog. But that's cool because he's 'fine' now.

"Typical white bullshit. 'We ended slavery, why they so mad at us?' Well, y'all forgot to end the racism, so you freed us and spent the next 150 years oppressing us, saying we ain't worth shit compared to y'all; denying us education and job opportunities, pumping **** and guns into our communities, pushing us to destroy ourselves... just so y'all can keep a fresh supply of nigga boys to make license plates in prison."

Sarah and I are both dumbstruck, not expecting Darnell to explode in a fiery rant in our living room.

"At least you got paid... right?" I ask weakly, trying desperately to derail this conversation before it gets worse.

"Yeah, I got paid," he growls back. "40 cents per hour. The state billed me for being there... made me work... took what I earned... and paid themselves back with it. I don't have nothing but debt, and the white man gave it to me."

"Prison is slavery. I'm 10 years a ****."

The grizzled older man glares sternly at me, daring me to make this situation any worse.

I don't.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize." It's all I can think to say.

He glares for a few seconds, but his expression softens after a fewtense moments. "That's alright, you didn't know. White folks don't have to think about that shit. My people deserve reparations... all the African slaves, past and present."

He leans back against our sofa as the tension eases, and the silence hangs heavy in the air. Sarah finally breaks the ice, putting us all at ease when she puts her hands around his bicep, leaning against his powerful shoulder.

"I agree... what happened to you and your people is wrong. You deserve better... and America owes you for that."

I start to roll my eyes at her comment. I didn't totally disagree, but it was comparing apples to oranges. Slavery and prison were completely different institutions, and furthermore...

"Right, Liam?"

I'm lost in thought and caught off guard, but I see Sarah looking at me intently, waiting for me to agree with her. I prepare to make my argument, but the weight of the long day finally catches up to me.

"... yeah. You're totally right, babe."

Darnell grins at that, but I'm not sure why.

As we get ready for bed, Sarah seems especially distracted, like she has something important on her mind. She's quiet and a little forgetful, like her mind is somewhere else; when she finally comes to bed and kisses me, I don't feel the usual passion.

She lies down and pulls the blanket over her, and for the next 30 minutes she does nothing but toss and turn, keeping both of us awake with her movements.

But when I'm half-asleep, she suddenly rolls over to face me, and I can see her beautiful face bathed in the yellow streetlights once again, her gentle and peaceful expression replaced with worry.

"Liam... babe... are you awake?"

"Hm?..." I reply sleepily.

"...do you really think reparations are important?"

The question confuses me more than anything. "Huh? Um... yeah. Yeah, they're really important, I guess..." I wasn't sure why she was bringing this up right now, at bedtime. Maybe Darnell's situation was really bothering her.

"Like... if a race of people was wronged and it affected them for generations... we should do whatever we can to make up for it, right? Even if it's only one person?" She looks at me hopefully, and I finally understand.

Taking care of Darnell, giving him a fresh start, helping him feel in control of his life for the first time... I realize it means everything to Sarah. I wasn't sure this old racist guy deserved that sort of commitment, but my girlfriend's motives are too pure and too kind for me to argue.

"Yeah, babe. We should definitely do that..." She looks happy with my answer, like a weight is lifted off her chest.

"Thanks, babe. I love you..." she whispers, giving me a soft kiss on the lips before rolling over again. Her tossing and turning has ended.

As I drift off to sleep, content that I've eased Sarah's worries, I have no idea that a chain reaction is beginning within our home.