I have to.

I told myself to calm down and think about what I actually wanted. I obviously would love to have his attention and for someone to take an interest in me, but I also need to be realistic and _if _I respond, I can't string him along without telling him, right? I shook as I stared at the message and my fingers moved on their own.

Chloe: "hey, I wasn't meaning to leave you on seen I was just trying to gather my thoughts about some things."

I sent another message without any control over myself.

Chloe: "hi, I'm Chloe, I did send you that heart on purpose but before anything else, I'd like to address the elephant in the room. It is kind of weird tracking me down from a dating app... right? I guess, at least it means you have determination, I guess that's a good trait to have. Look I'm going to be completely honest here. I deleted my account because maybe dating isn't for me. Not that I didn't like your profile and all, you are very much my type… I think. I'm just not sure if I am your type."

I hit send, immediately cringing at what I'd written. This isn't being straightforward and transparent at all. I flopped onto my bed and felt like I could die.

A minute later with my face in my hands, there was a ding and my phone vibrated.

Jack: "Hey! I'm actually a bit shocked to see a reply from you and a little overwhelmed. ‘You’ think you are not my type?? This isn't some catfish situation is it? Those are your pictures on your profile, and you remember mine right... haha."

I smiled, he knew how to make me feel good about myself, at least. Even if he didn't know what I meant.

Chloe: "ha, yes that's me in my pictures... I suppose. Also, yes, I remember yours. I like your beard, and you've got that cute chubby Dad bod look going on."

Jack: "Uhh... yeah... cute. I guess I'll take you calling me fat as a compliment... in some weird way.

I smiled again. I love his sense of humour and hoped I wasn't just misreading things and he was actually offended.

Chloe: "You are not fat, and it is meant to be taken as a compliment. You look good in your photos."

Jack: "So... Excuse me? I'm still trying to figure out what's going on. You are Chloe right... that profile that I saw a week ago, those pictures are of you? And... you are 21? And.... I'm here, like a 6 at best with a 10 telling me I'm the good looking one."

Chloe: "Shut up! I'm like a 6 on my best days and yeah, I'll actually be 22 in like 3 weeks."

I absolutely did not want him to shut up. I couldn't stop smiling.

Jack: "God damn, a 6!? You need to tell me what camera filters you're using. I might need to use them myself. Anyway, before I wake up and this is all a dream, or you tell me that I'm being pranked and recorded to put on some forum somewhere. I want to say what I said in the beginning. You are stunning... not sure what you see in me but hey, I'll take what I can get. I'm not going to fumble the chance to at least ask you out on a date. Of course, only if you would like to?"

Reality came crashing back down. I realised I'd had a stupid grin on my face the whole time and I'd been flirting with this guy for the past hour. My cheeks hurt. Sadly, I can't date him. He thinks… well he's got assumptions about what I am and… they're wrong. And my dumb ass never told him, like I should have right at the start, before he was charming and funny... and cute.

I clearly don't know how to handle this situation.

Chloe: "Jack, I'm extremely flattered that you think I'm pretty. I think you're pretty handsome yourself... while I would love to go on a date, I feel like I might not be what you are looking for…"

I had to find some way to tell him, but it was so hard, and I was already scared to ruin it.

Jack: "So let me work through this right. You hit your head and think I'm hot. you didn't say that but I'm going to claim it. You most definitely are the hot one by the way, and I'd love to take you on a date... which you would also want to go on... but for some reason, you think maybe I'll change my mind about you if I see you?"

Chloe: "Yes."

Jack: "I'm not sure I understand but I'll try to be less silly about this. I like you; I like you from reading the brief things you wrote about yourself, and from looking at your pictures and even from this short time we’ve been talking. I'm not sure what it is that you don't like about yourself, but I can almost guarantee that it's superficial and something I would look past even if it was as big as you're making it out to be. I have plenty of things I'm insecure about by the way. I act silly and am okay with laughing at myself because of that. I don’t take things too seriously when they don’t need to be."

Chloe: "It's not superficial, although I have plenty of those, you're crazy if you think I'm a 10 and you did say it and it makes me happy, so I guess I'll claim that too haha. The problem though, is fundamental and it's only a problem because I like you too, but you don't know me personally."

Jack: "I'd like to... Look, Chloe, you are a beautiful girl and if you say you like me so far, I think I deserve a shot... to at least show you that whatever it is that you are concerned about isn't as big of a deal as you think it is. I promise you I have things I really don't like about myself that I dread will scare you off, as a matter of fact, there is something I am kinda worried to tell you too, but I would at least like to take you out somewhere to see how that goes."

Chloe: "I mean if you are some murderer or stalker maybe that would scare me off but from your pictures and sense of humour, I think you don't have too much to worry about. I promise you, whatever your thing is, it isn't like mine."

Jack: "what if I had a kid?"

Chloe: "do you?"

Jack: "Yes."

Oh... That was a bigger thing than I had thought. I don't really know how I feel about that.

Chloe: "Oh... I mean... That is a pretty big deal, I... hmm."

Jack: "Yeah, Sorry... I didn't have pictures with me and my daughter on Clix. That would be a little weird and I'm overly protective of that kind of stuff. I actually had it written in my profile and I'm going to admit something to you that I am not proud of... when you sent me that heart, I deleted the stuff about having a kid because you are, you know, kind of young and I didn't want to scare you off straight away. I thought maybe I could impress you first. Didn't have a clue how to do that but that's what I did... sorry."

Oh my god, I don't know why I find him so unbelievably attractive right now. Maybe it's because he can admit when he's done something wrong. Maybe it's that he reminds me of my own dad and I like that he is protective of his daughter. Maybe it's just endearing that he has tried so hard for me. I spent so long thinking about what he wrote that he had messaged again.

Jack: "Yeah, well I told you my thing... Is that a deal breaker? If it is, can you at least tell me what your apparent deal breaker is. I think I'll be in the mood for measuring dicks at that point."

I blushed at his comment. He doesn't know it, but I have at least got something to measure, though I highly doubt I'd win that one. I can tell he is a little upset but that's only because he thinks that I consider him having a kid a deal breaker and if I'm being honest, right now it is not.

Chloe: "Jack... it's hard, I feel like I will scare you off. And I don't want to... I am undecided about your deal breaker for now, but I like you. I actually find it quite... cute that you are protective of your daughter. And I appreciate that you told me and that it is something that you cannot change about yourself, you might think that's a negative but it's not."

Jack: "Hey! If you are worried that you are going to be the one to scare me off, I'll count that as a win because there isn't a thing I could think of that could scare me from you. And if there is something about you that you cannot change, I can at least promise that I will listen to you when you are ready to tell me. Chloe, I really like you and I think whatever it is, it won't be a deal breaker. can you... I don't know, give me a hint... Is it physical? mental? do you just snore really bad? or maybe you have like a conjoined twin that's just conveniently out of frame in all of your pictures? I'll be honest, If that's it, It's not a deal breaker. I'll take you both on a date somewhere nice I promise, even if she's really ugly."

Chloe: "You're such an idiot, but you make me smile. Jack, please... It is physical but I can't talk about it right now, I should, and it is important, and I am really worried about it, but I can't. I'm sorry. I will try to figure out how to tell you but right now, I don't want to."

Jack: "look I don't want to upset you or anything. I'd still love to chat and get to know you. We don't have to go straight to a date; we can start things slower. Maybe we learn more about each other just by talking first. I feel like it's strange to ask especially now but do you mind us chatting here on Twitter I assume you don't have your Clix account anymore. And... just in case you forgot what I looked like, since it seems like you have."

Jack sent a picture of him pulling a stupid face that he clearly just sent from in his bed. I appreciate him trying to lighten the mood, but it was already getting late from the time we had spent chatting. He still looks good even with a stupid face.

I took a picture sticking my tongue out, my makeup had run a little since I'd been a bit teary from the conversation. I sent him the picture and replied.

Chloe: "haha yeah, we can talk here. I don't usually use Twitter but that's fine. And yes, I promise I remember who I'm talking to. Phillip, right? Yeah, maybe if you give me a little time, I might be comfortable talking to you about my issues."

Jack: "wow, did you take that just now? You sure make me feel a little underwhelming."

I took another photo of me giving the finger to the camera, I still tried to look good in the photo though. I sent it to him.

He just sent back a shocked emoji. I laughed.

Chloe: "If your looks are something you're including in the things that you are insecure about then I'm going to win this fight. Just letting you know, I don't think there is anything underwhelming about you at all, I'm very whelmed, in fact,"

Jack: "Umm, do you have a second head that is just really well hidden or maybe like a rap sheet with 60-plus murders of guys you met on dating sites? I still might try my luck actually thinking about it… Chloe, if you think you aren't drop-dead gorgeous, you’re out of your damn mind, a 6? I just don't get it… also A+ dad joke, trust me I would know. *Winky face*"

I really didn't know what to do with myself, and why couldn’t I stop smiling? Getting complimented this much was so foreign to me but damn it sure felt nice.