Something less haunting than you expected

As you unwillingly enter the mansion, you find the conditions just as bad as the last time you were here. Maybe worse. The air is so chilling you get goosebumps right away. The setting sun provides barely any light at all, which you’re somewhat thankful for, since it means you won’t have to see the ghost. Somehow, Sally soldiers your body inside as though nothing is wrong whatsoever.

She heads down a seemingly random hallway, and it doesn’t take long before you hear some movement in one of the rooms. That must be it! The ghost! Sally readies one of the gadgets she walked in with, only for a tall, bulky man to walk out of the room carrying a sack over his shoulder. AHHHH THE GHOST!

Sally relaxes her posture. “Uhh… you are…?”

The man replies, “I should be asking you that question. The hell’s such a half-pint with double gallons doing in a place like this?” He has a bunch of loose-fitting clothes on, along with sunglasses and a five o’clock shadow. He’s incredibly suspicious, but he doesn’t exactly look like a ghost… By the time you reach that realization, Sally has tossed her ghosthunting junk on the ground and completely changed her tune.

“Ah! Haha, I must be lost or something. Me and my big, dumb tits always get lost. Hopefully you’re not dangerous, Mister. Otherwise, I’m in trouble!” You shudder internally as you hear her using the word “Mister” again. This isn’t good.

The man drops the sack he’s carrying and answers in a low growl. “You picked a bad place to get lost, missy, especially packing a pair of torpedoes like those. I’m the most dangerous thing you’ve seen all week.”

“Y-You’re a bad man? Oh no!” Her acting is so awful you’re shocked that the man, apparently a burglar or something, even believes it. You run for a few steps before “tripping” and falling onto the fancy rug, and the burglar is completely convinced.

“I was just planning to swipe a few pieces of junk for some quick cash. Never thought I’d get to steal a free fuck with some dumb, hot chick who’s stacked to the nines.”