No, now get to class

Caleb arrived at his first class right as the bell rang. Mr. Edwards his English teacher simply gave him a glance as he sat down. The rest of the class however couldn't keep their eyes off him. Caleb kept his head down as he dug his things out of his bag.

Mr. Edwards cleared his throat and addressed the class, "Ok everyone, I'm sure you're all fascinated by Caleb here's rise to fame, but since you have all known him for years, how about we do what we came here for, and study English?" Caleb gave him an appreciative smile.

"Now open your textbook to page..." and with that class commenced. However, every time Mr. Edwards' back was turned, a new note was passed Caleb's way. It seemed every single woman in the class wanted to give him their number.

About halfway through class, Mr. Edwards walked in between the rows of students, and snagged one of the notes that had not quite made it to Caleb. He read it and then waved it before the rest of the class. He gruffly said, "Well this is an excellent example of why learning the rules of proper grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation are important. Whichever one of you ladies wrote this note, first there are two T's in stretch." Mr. Edwards bent over Caleb's desk, produced a red ink pen, and began grading the note.

"Second, you forgot to sign it. How is Caleb to know which one of you wants him to, and I quote, 'Stretch me so wide all cocks be like a hotdog through a hallway'? That's just appalling grammar. You need an adverb like 'other' in front of cocks. You don't want Caleb here thinking his cock would be like all other cocks after he stretches you. If I were him, I'd be insulted. And then lets add 'cocks WILL be'. Now 'hotdog through a hallway' is totally unacceptable, but would sound much better if we replaced 'through' and give an action like going and a direction such as down or up."

Some of the guys in the class were trying very hard not to laugh, others not so much. Most of the girls though were bright red. Caleb had noticed on several of the notes there was no signature.

Mr. Edwards stood and said, "There now it reads, "'Hey Caleb, you want to come over to my house after school, and stretch me so wide, all other cocks will be like a hotdog going up a hallway.' Now, can everyone pay attention till the end of class, please?" With that he dropped the note on Caleb's desk and returned to the front of the room.