Thinking

A couple days later and Rikki hadn't stopped thinking about what Thatcher had said about bending the rules and getting lost in this life. She'd been thinking about Sandra. About how once, her and Thatcher had been a couple in love until half-truths and crossed lines turned them into what they are now.

She could see the same cracks forming in her own life. Devin had been one lie. Nightingale another. The tangled knot of half-truths between her and Finn grew tighter with every passing day.

She couldn’t do it anymore. Not if she wanted to have something real with Finn. Not if she wanted to keep from becoming another Sandra—consumed by the mission, isolated by the mask, unable to love honestly.

Rikki arrived at Devin's apartment, staring at the door as she knocked on it. Her stomach churned, her mind replaying the words she’d rehearsed all day.

Devin opened the door his eyes bright with that same reckless charm that had drawn her in once.

“Rikki,” he said with a slow, easy smile. “Hey. Come on in.”

She hesitated, lingering at the threshold. His apartment felt like a space suspended between worlds—between the past she’d tried to bury and the future she was trying to build.

“No, Devin,” she said, voice steady but soft. “I can’t come in. I need to talk to you.”

His smile faltered, confusion clouding his face. “What’s going on?”

She drew a shaky breath. “I can’t keep doing this.”

He blinked. “Doing what?”

“Us,” she said, the word tasting bitter in her mouth. “I can’t keep seeing you like this. It’s not fair to Finn. It’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to me.”

“I don’t understand?”

“I… I need to be with Finn. He’s… he’s what I need.”

Devin’s jaw tightened.

“You mean you’re choosing him over me because he’s safe.”

Rikki winced. “Devin—”

“Don’t lie to me,” he spat, his voice rising. “You want stability. You want the normal guy with the normal job who’s never had to fight for a damn thing in his life. You want easy. And I’m not easy, am I? Because I’ve got a record. Because I’m not perfect.”

She shook her head, tears stinging her eyes. “It’s not like that—”

“It’s exactly like that,” he shot back. She drew in a sharp breath, standing her ground.

“Devin, I’m not throwing you away. I’m doing what’s right. I can’t keep living a lie with you. I’m your parole officer, for god’s sake. This was never going to work out.”

His face twisted in anger.

“So, what now? You’re gonna pretend none of this happened?”

“No,” she said, voice trembling but firm. “I’m going to assign you a new parole officer. Someone who can help you the way you deserve, without crossing any lines. You deserve that.”

His eyes widened, the anger draining from his face.

“A new officer? Are you serious?”

She nodded, tears threatening to spill.

“I’m serious. I have to. It’s the only way to make things right.”

He stared at her, his expression a war between anger and heartbreak.

“So, that’s it? You’re just going to walk away from me?”

Rikki’s heart ached at the pain in his voice. She reached out, almost on instinct, but let her hand drop before it made contact.

“Devin, I care about you. I always will. But I can’t be what you need anymore. I have to choose the kind of life I want to have. One that’s honest. One where I’m not constantly betraying myself or the people who care about me.”

A long, heavy silence stretched between them. Devin’s shoulders slumped, his defiance giving way to something like defeat.

“Yeah,” he muttered, eyes dark.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He didn’t say anything as she turned and walked away, each step feeling like it was made of lead. Outside, the night air was cool against her skin, like a promise. She took a deep breath, pulling her phone from her pocket and scrolling to Finn’s contact.

Rikki: Hey. Can we talk?

She pressed send, a weight lifting from her chest. For the first time in a long while, she felt like she was stepping into the light instead of hiding in the shadows.

Whatever happened next, she’d chosen her path and it was the right one.