Chapter Nineteen

Barbara had watched the camera feed the entire time, only turning it off when Koriand’r and Donna left. She had gotten a text from Donna asking if she and Koriand’r could come over and talk about something, a request she willingly fulfilled, in light of what she had seen. Despite the lack of any audio, something she had cursed Dick for not including, what she had seen was enough to turn worry into real concern.

It might have been a while since she actually sparred with Dick, but she still watched him fight regularly. Or, she used to, before he’d faked his damn **** and everything had gone to shit.

Still, the point was, she knew how he fought, from every unnecessary flip to the weird little hints of training that didn’t come from Batman. She never asked, back then, where those had come from. Hadn’t seemed important how certain motions or techniques would lock his joints or become unusually forceful.

Now? She wished she had asked, because it wasn’t Dick who had just nearly beaten two Class-A meta threats in the span of under a minute. It definitely wasn’t Robin who had managed to disarm and almost **** out Donna without any weapons of his own. And there was no way it was Nightwing that had thrown the Amazon woman through the air like a ragdoll to give himself an advantage.

Everything had been wrong. If she didn’t have it right in front of her, she would have genuinely questioned if it was someone else she was watching. His movements had been heavy like he had never been a circus kid, the attacks had been brutal like these women weren’t people he knew and loved.

There was one moment that stood out painfully to her, that her mind simply refused to accept as something Dick had done. His shoulders had pulled back, and hand had dropped to his waist. It was a motion she had watched hundreds of time over the years.

Dick had reached to draw a gun and shoot.

And wasn’t that just a mindfuck, because since when did Richard know how to hold a gun, nevermind shoot it? He had a reputation for never touching the things if given any choice, even to disarm criminals. He had an excessive repertoire of skills specifically to disarm shooters without trying to hold the gun.

So how? And, Barbara’s pride burned with the question, when had she stopped paying attention to the point that she had missed it?

A doorbell noise interrupted her thoughts, and she rolled over to check the cameras. Seeing the two women outside, she keyed them in for entry, then hit snooze on the entire computer systems of the Clocktower.

The soft yellow lights took the place of the harsh blue led, and the quiet was only broken by the soft whirring of the AC and the slight groaning of the worn rubber wheel when she rolled to the kitchen. She idly made a mental note to get that wheel replaced as her hands mindlessly went through the motions of preparing three cups of chamomile tea.

The elevator pinged, and the steel shutters rattled as they were dragged open. She picked up her mug and waved a hand at the other two. “Made some tea, grab it yourself.”

She rolled over to a small panel and entered a code, then tapped the screen. The room reconfigured, a sitting room space appearing that Barbara moved to and parked her chair in.

Her eyes closed, she sipped the tea slowly, let out a deep breath, and opened to watch the visitors in her space. Each held a mug of tea as they sat down on the couches, but neither one really seemed to register it. Donna dropped into the cushions almost as if her strings had been cut, and Kori seemed to only sit down because Donna’s movement reminded her to do so.

She let them sit in silence for a few seconds, taking another sip of tea, then said, “Alfred had emergency access to cameras in Dick’s flat. No audio, but I watched until you both left.”

Kori still seemed in some kind of shock, so it was Donna who sighed heavily, and answered her unspoken question, “He… Something is amiss with him. As you apparently saw, he awoke and immediately attacked. It was as if spirits of Hades had possessed him, and he fought without mercy. When we attempted to reach him-”

She stopped and wiped a hand over her face, “Gods, I didn’t even ask about it. Things got out of hand so swiftly.”

Barbara didn’t move, forcing herself to stillness. “What happened when you tried to speak to him?”

“He kept repeating that he was not whatever name we used. Robin, Nightwing, Dick. Then he said that, ah…” Donna frowned, “It was a number. 30-something. He said ‘30-something will pass the test’? I’m not certain, I was somewhat preoccupied with breathing.”

“37.” Kori quietly contributed.

Barbara looked at the woman. The two of them had never really met, or even talked, but she’d seen the news and the reports. Personality as vibrant as her skin and eyes, perpetually peppy. The woman in front of her was subdued, that vibrant light dimmed, and small anxious movements kept travelling through her form. She was shaken by what had happened.

Donna was nodding, “Yes, that was it. ‘37 will pass the test.’ The only reason he didn’t continue was Harley. She yelled something about being happy he was here, and insulted how he was behaving, calling him ‘Agent Asshole’, and he returned to normal-”

“No. That-” Kori practically growled the words before catching herself, “Not normal. Richard does not say or do such things when normal.”

Barbara’s hands were clenched around the mug in her lap so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. “What do you mean?”

“We sat down when he… we sat down and spoke. It seemed fine, at first. He was distant, yet no more so than he has been in the past months. I simply assumed he was still regaining control of himself.” Donna’s spine straightened, a hint of confidence returning to her. “I asked about Quinn. She had known where to find the medicines, and then, during the conflict, she had called his name, so-”

Barbara jerked forwards, the forgotten mug of tea sloshing onto the blanket that covered her lap. “Harley Quinn knows Dick’s identity?!”

The Amazon grimly nodded, “And she had known the location of his home, was familiar with it’s interior.”

Panic infused her, thick and all-consuming. “Oh my fucking god- I need to-”

“Dick informed me that he had shared it with her willingly, Barbara.”

The crippled heroine reeled as if struck. Her pale hand reached up and slapped her own cheek with a crack. She blinked, and found the world unchanged. A hoarse whisper escaped her lips, “This is real.”

Donna nodded.

“Holy shit, this is real.” Barbara’s voice returned, and with it, the panic took an angry turn, “You mean to tell me that Dick ‘Golden Boy’ Grayson went and told someone the truth without checking with the Bats? Without checking with Bruce?! That he told Harley-fucking-Quinn!? Jesus Christ, what was he thinking-”

“He defended her. Said she wasn’t a criminal, and was living a new life. Do you know anything about that?” At Donna’s question, Barbara couldn’t help the noise of disbelief that slipped out.

She pinched the bridge of her nose tightly, “A little. She vanished a year ago, and we eventually got word that she’d broken Joker’s nose, dumped him, and made sure everyone knew she was quitting the life.” She sighed, shaking her head as the anger fell. “We tracked her awhile, but it all seemed true, so when she vanished from Gotham, I dropped it. Until recently, at least.”

Donna raised a tired eyebrow in question, and Barbara answered, “I started getting hits on my watch program… 3 months ago, now? At first, just sightings of her in Bludhaven, reports that she was doing vigilante work of all things. Which progressed to rumours and talk of her working together with Nightwing. I couldn’t believe it at first, but…” The redhead gave a small shrug, “Once or twice is coincidence or a couple confused druggies. Dozens of weekly reports from cops, paired with camera feed evidence I managed to find?”

The Amazon’s brow furrowed, “Then… Dick protected her, Barbara. He placed himself-”

Kori interrupted again, seeming to have found her voice, “Richard’s behaviour was the same as when guarding a teammate. He has removed his mask and revealed his home to her. He holds a deep trust in her.”

Donna nodded again, her words slow, “I agree. Star’s right. By all appearances, as far as Dick is concerned, Quinn is now among a very close circle of trusted friends and family. There is not a man or woman among them that he does not…”

Her words trailed off. The statement didn’t need finishing, they all knew it. The only people that see Nightwing’s face are people that, in some shape or style, he loves. Even if he doesn’t call it that to all of them.

And god-fucking-damnit if that didn’t grab something ugly called ‘Jealousy’ from deep in Barbara’s stomach and tie it in painful knots.

Kori distracted her from it as she started speaking again. There was something strange and out-of-place on her modelesque features, something that Barbara couldn’t quite pin down.

“He… was not of good health. I do not think. He believes he is not a part of the Team now. Why- Richard founded the Team, Robin was the leader. How could it be that he is not a member?”

“I’m sorry?” Barbara asked. She was beginning to understand why the other two women looked so tired. When Kori didn’t elaborate, she looked to Donna in supplication.

“That happened after. When we told him why we were there, he apologised for…inconveniencing us, I think? I am not certain, exactly.” For all her divine magical power, Donna painted a picture of helplessness. “He kept repeating apologies, and offering solutions, when we attempted to understand. Not solutions ensuring that the situation would not repeat, but rather to ensure neither of us would be present if it did! And then, right before he told us to leave or he’d make us, he-”

Ice crept into Barbara’s chest as the new information slotted into place like a jigsaw piece, next to everything else that had worried her recently. She didn’t want to believe the picture that was starting to form. Didn’t want to even acknowledge it.

Kori had interrupted, tears beginning to fill her eyes, “He became angry, swearing much. Saying hateful things, that we did not want him, he was a problem for us to address, and that we were pretending to care for him. Why- Why did Richard lie and say such hurtful words?”

The ice grew, and the jigsaw’s picture grew clear. It wasn’t complete, not even close, but it was enough for her to suspect. And that meant it was enough for her to take action.

She placed the mug on the table in the middle, and tossed the stained lap blanket to the side. She’d clean it up later. “...I don’t think he was lying.”

Barbara took in the denial that flared furiously in Starfire’s eyes, and the **** understanding growing in Donna’s, and forged ahead, ignored the hint of guilt that was beginning to scratch at her. “I’m not sure, but… When he came back, did- I know everyone was mad, but, do we know- has he stayed in touch with anyone? Actual conversation, not just short replies?”

The silence was deafening.

Donna’s voice was rough when she spoke, “He, uh… he and the Titans, most didn’t get along with him when he left, after Wally… I thought- ahem, I assumed you guys, or the Young Justice Team…?”

Kori seemed broken, staring between them in horror, her head shaking. “He- He quit as the team leader years ago, when- it happened at the time that we broke up. He- T-the others did not- they took my side and I was- we all were not friendly, after-”

Barbara’s heart sank at the confirmation, even as Kori’s eyes sought her with desperation, “You- his family! Richard holds the greatest depths of love for his family. Surely they-?”

Barbara’s eyes stung, and a tear slipped down her cheek. Her head slowly shook, though her voice shook more. “They were all…We were all so angry. The fake **** hurt so much more, what with the history of deaths. Jason, and Damian, and…”

She trailed off, knowing she didn’t need to say anything else.

Starfire started wailing inconsolably, and Donna moved to pull her into an embrace. Her eyes caught Barbara’s over the weeping woman’s head. They reflected the regret and upset that Barbara felt inside, with a steely shine of something more. They said, ‘We fucked up, bad. Everyone did. What are we going to do about it?’

Barbara nodded slightly to her.

‘We’re going to fix it.’