Playing Pretend

The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the dorm as the three of you lounged on the couch, steaming mugs in hand. Liam sat beside you, slouched deep into the cushions with his arms crossed, the oversized handle of his mug looped around his fingers as he stared at the dark liquid like it was personally responsible for his current predicament. Hermes, on the other hand, was draped over the other side of the couch like he belonged there, one ankle lazily propped up on his knee, spinning his mug between nimble fingers.

“So, let me get this straight,” Hermes said, his sharp golden eyes flicking between you and Liam. “You went to sleep with a dick and woke up without one?”

Liam exhaled through his nose, gripping his mug a little tighter. “Yes, Hermes, thanks for summarizing it so eloquently.”

Hermes let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “Damn. That’s rough, buddy.” He took a long sip of coffee, then immediately grimaced. “Ugh. Did you make this?” He looked at Liam with a disapproving squint. “It tastes like a Greek tragedy.”

Liam groaned and dropped his head back against the couch. “I don’t know how this happened, alright? I didn’t do anything to piss Aphrodite off! I was literally just existing, man.”

“That is kinda weird,” Hermes admitted, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Aphrodite is unbelievably petty. But even she doesn’t just go around handing out gender swaps like party favors for no reason. Normally, it’s a punishment, a lesson—some kinda divine bitch slap, y’know?”

Liam gave you a look. “Thank you. That’s what we thought.”

You pursed your lips over your coffee, suppressing a smirk.

Hermes hummed, glancing at Liam’s outfit—the snug jeans, the ribbed white crop top that fit a little too well on his now curvier frame. “Damn, though. You really got the full package, huh? I mean, not full—obviously. That’s missing.”

Liam groaned loudly. “Oh my God—”

“I’m just saying, the universe committed to the bit.” Hermes grinned before taking another sip of coffee.

Liam shot him a glare. “Dude, I swear to god, if you don’t shut up—”

“Alright, alright, I’ll knock it off.” Hermes raised his hands in surrender, still smirking. “I get it. You’re having a rough time.” He stretched out with a sigh. “Listen, I’ll bring it up to Aphrodite when I get the chance, but I really gotta time it right. She’s…bitchy about these things. You catch her in the wrong mood, and suddenly it’s a century-long curse instead of a funny weekend prank.”

Liam stiffened. “Weekend?!”

Hermes let out a short laugh. “Kidding. Kinda.” He waved a hand. “Look, I’m free all day, so I’ll try and catch her when she’s in a good mood. Best case? You’re back to normal by tonight. Worst case? Tomorrow.”

Liam exhaled through his nose, nodding slowly. “Okay. Okay, I can…deal with that. I guess.”

You reached over and took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s gonna be alright, babe. Not the end of the world.”

Liam scoffed but didn’t pull away. “Feels like the end of the world.”

Hermes snorted. “Yeah, well, I’ve seen the end of the world, and trust me, it’s a lot worse than a free trial of femininity.”

Liam shot him a deadpan look. “Wow. So comforting.”

Hermes just grinned. Then, after a beat, his expression shifted, something flickering behind his gaze as he tilted his head. “By the way, how’d you two even end up back on good terms? Last I heard, you weren’t talking.”

You and Liam exchanged glances.

“Oh,” you said, sipping your coffee. “That’s a whole thing.”

Hermes wiggled his fingers. “I love things.”

You rolled your eyes but obliged. “My sister randomly showed up in town a while back, and I kind of walked in on her and had to play pretend-girlfriend with Liam for a bit.”

Hermes’ brows shot up. “Pretend girlfriend?”

Liam muttered something under his breath, staring down at his coffee.

You grinned. “Yeah. That’s how we apologized, caught up, and—y’know—actually fixed things.” You bumped Liam’s shoulder playfully. “And now we’re a couple. Temporarily, but officially.”

Hermes blinked. Then his mouth stretched into a wide, amused grin. “Oh, shit. So this is a thing now?”

“Oh, it’s a thing.” You smirked. Then, just to mess with Liam, you leaned in and added, “Although technically, right now, we’re lesbians.”

Liam immediately choked on his coffee. “I hate you.”

Hermes howled with laughter, nearly spilling his drink all over himself. “Oh, this is the best thing that’s happened all week.”

The conversation continued from there, but at that moment, Hermes was too busy wheezing, and Liam was too busy glaring at you through sheer secondhand suffering. And honestly?

You were having the time of your life.

Hermes leaned back against the couch, one arm draped over the backrest, his coffee balanced casually in his free hand. His golden eyes flicked over Liam’s new form, assessing with the kind of detached curiosity that only a god could manage. Then, after a thoughtful sip of his drink, he said, “Damn, dude. Every guy wonders at some point what it’s like to be a girl.”

You snapped your fingers, practically bouncing in your seat. “Oh my God, that’s exactly what I told him!”

Liam, who had been massaging his temples in exasperation for the past several minutes, let out a long-suffering sigh. “Both of you teaming up on me? Not cool.” He shot you a look of pure betrayal before turning his glare onto Hermes. “Aren’t you supposed to be helping me?”

Hermes grinned, completely unfazed. “I am helping you. I’m helping you realize things.”

Liam scowled. “Oh, great. That’s exactly what I needed. Divine self-reflection.”

But Hermes wasn’t letting up. He tapped his fingers idly against his mug. “Look, I might be a god, but I’m Hermes. I don’t have the kind of power Aphrodite does, where she can just—” He snapped his fingers, mimicking a magical transformation. “—change forms like she’s flipping through a wardrobe. I have to be Hermes. Always. Some kind of dude version of Hermes, no questions asked. But over the millennia?” He tilted his head, shrugging. “Of course I’ve wondered. Wondered if I could snap and find out just once. See what it’s like.”

Liam stared at him like he’d just admitted to being a secret conspiracy theorist. “Okay, what the hell is happening? First her, now you?” He gestured between you and Hermes like you were both infected with the same bizarre affliction. “Are all gods bisexual or something? Is that a requirement for immortality?”

Hermes let out a short laugh. “I mean, yeah, pretty much. None of us are just straight. But also, let’s be real, it’s totally not not straight to wonder about it.”

You pointed at him with wide eyes. “See?! Exactly!” You turned to Liam, eyes alight with playful enthusiasm. “Come on, babe, you should capitalize on this! Just see what it’s like!”

Liam groaned, running both hands down his face. “I don’t need to see what it’s like. I know what I like. I know who I am.”

You scooted a little closer, nudging him with your shoulder. “Oh, come on. I’ve basically been near 100% girl for weeks now, and it’s fun. Trust me. I’ll show you all the fun.”

Liam immediately tensed at that. “Okay, no. No, no, no. I don’t need to know what it’s like. It’s not for me. I don’t swing that way, I don’t think that way, I still have guy thoughts, okay?”

Hermes chuckled, clearly entertained. “Alright, let’s break this down, genius. You think being in a girl’s body automatically means you have to start acting different? That you’re suddenly gonna wake up with a deep, burning need to paint your nails and gossip about reality show reruns? News flash: you’re still you.”

Liam opened his mouth, then closed it. He pointed at Hermes, scowling. “That’s not the point.”

You leaned in, resting your chin on your palm with a knowing smirk. “So what is the point, babe?”

Liam huffed, turning away. “The point is… I just… It’s not me.”

Hermes gave him a pointed look. “But it is you. Like it or not, buddy, you’re you in a different package. You’re not some stranger. You’re not suddenly a different person. You’re Liam. Just… girl Liam.”

You could see the stubbornness in Liam’s expression, but also the cracks forming in his resistance. The way his lips pressed together, the way his fingers fidgeted slightly against his coffee mug. He was trying so hard to maintain his stance, but with both you and Hermes hammering at the walls of his logic, he was getting backed into a corner.

You grinned, pushing just a little further. “You literally have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience something most guys will never get to. And you know it’s temporary, so there’s zero stakes. Why not lean into it a little? Just a little?”

Liam let out a deep, exhausted sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I hate you both.”

Hermes clinked his mug against Liam’s. “Love you too, sweetheart.”

The conversation was far from over, but you knew one thing for certain:

Liam was going to crack. It was only a matter of time.

You leaned in, eyes twinkling with barely-contained excitement, and whispered, “I have Forget-Me-Mints.”

Liam gave you a wary look. “Oh my god, you still have those?”

Hermes, ever the salesman, leaned forward and waggled his eyebrows. “Oh yeah, those special little things I whipped up.”

Liam stared at you both like you’d just suggested he eat poison. “Okay, first of all? That’s mildly terrifying, even if you've used them before. Second? That’s just an hour. This is almost a whole day.”

Hermes shrugged. “Oh, I can upgrade them. I’ve done it before.” He twirled his fingers lazily in the air, as if tweaking the laws of reality was as simple as adjusting a recipe. “I could make it a six-hour wipe instead of one. Or—” He grinned, pointing at Liam with his mug. “—I could make it work the other way. You take it after instead of before, so if you don’t enjoy whatever you end up getting up to, then you can wipe it. Completely optional.”

You practically beamed at that. “Oh my God, yes! That’s perfect!”

Liam, however, was looking between the two of you with increasing suspicion, like a gazelle realizing it had wandered into a lion’s den. “Okay. First of all? I don’t like how much fun you’re having at my expense.” He pointed at you. “And second? I still don’t know if I even want to do this.”

You weren’t about to let this opportunity slip away. You scooted closer, tilting your head just enough to give him the full **** of your pout. “Baaaaabe. Come on.”

Liam groaned, looking away. “No.”

You grabbed his hands, squeezing them, upping the ante with puppy eyes. “Pleaaaaase?”

Liam squeezed his own eyes shut, shaking his head. “Nope.”

Undeterred, you leaned into him, giving him your best pleading expression. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You know it is. And it’s temporary. There’s literally no risk!”

Liam clenched his jaw. “I still don’t think I’d be good at it. I’m still a guy. I think like a guy. I act like a guy. Even if I wanted to do this, I’d be bad at it.”

Hermes let out a snort. “Bro. Come on.” He gestured between you and Liam lazily. “You already know I’ve got disguises and personas that I can grant you. Didn’t I literally do this for her?” He waved vaguely in your direction. “Helped her act more like a girl when she first got cursed, way back?”

You nodded eagerly. “Yep! It really helped, too. I mean, I didn’t need it for too long, but at the start? It was super useful. We can make it so you’d still be you, but you wouldn’t be clunky about it.”

Liam exhaled sharply, rubbing his temples. “I hate that you have a point.”

You grinned. “I love that I have a point.”

Liam was grasping for excuses now, but you could see the cracks forming. The weak, last-ditch protests, the feeble resistance. You could taste the victory.

“I just… I don’t know if I—”

You hit him with everything. The pleading, the wide, shimmering eyes that made you look like a kicked puppy, the **** little whine in your voice that you knew got to him. You squeezed his hands tighter, leaned into him like a doting girlfriend just asking for a tiny favor—when in reality, you were relentlessly pushing him toward an outcome you were already set on.

And, of course, the logic of it all. The way you framed it as a no-risk, once-in-a-lifetime experience, the way you reassured him over and over that it was temporary, that he’d get a completely free pass to indulge in a little curiosity and erase it if he hated it. You painted it as an opportunity instead of a weird, humiliating situation. You made it sound like he’d be the one missing out if he didn’t try.

And Hermes? Oh, he piled on too.

He nodded sagely, giving Liam an encouraging, all-knowing look like some wise, immortal older brother. “Dude, come on.” His voice was easygoing, persuasive in the way only a god of trickery could manage. “You already know I can tweak things to make this easier for you. I’ve done it before.”

Liam scoffed, shifting uncomfortably. “That was different.”

“Was it?” Hermes raised a brow. “I can help you. I’ve done this for her.” He jerked his chin toward you. “I can tweak you too. Nothing huge, just enough so you don’t feel like a total mess.”

“And let’s not forget the mints,” you cut in, voice sweet as honey. “You can take one before to forget the next six hours if you really don’t want to remember it, or—” you grinned, knowing this was the winning card, “—you can take one after, so if you don’t enjoy it, you can just erase the whole thing and move on like nothing happened.”

Liam groaned, raking a hand through his long, unfamiliar hair, looking between the two of you like you were the worst people he’d ever met. “I hate that you both have a point.”

You smiled innocently. “I love that we both have a point.”

Hermes smirked. “That’s because you’re smart.”

Liam’s resistance was cracking. You could see it in the way he hesitated, the way his gaze flickered toward you with something that wasn’t quite annoyance anymore—just ****, like he wanted to give in but needed one last push.

So you pushed.

You softened, voice turning gentle. “Babe, listen. I know this is weird. I get it. But…” You squeezed his hands again. “It’s literally just one time. One tiny moment in the grand scheme of your entire life. If you hate it, you won’t even have to remember it.” You gave him a hopeful little smile. “But if you don’t hate it? Then you’ll have experienced something completely unique, something most guys never get the chance to understand. And you’ll never have to wonder ‘what if.’”

Liam let out a slow breath, shoulders slumping. He looked at Hermes. “And you promise it’s just small nudges? No crazy mind-control shit?”

Hermes held up his hands. “Scout’s honor. Just enough so you’re not walking like a caveman or acting like a dude stuffed into a chick suit.”

Liam exhaled sharply, rubbing his face. He sat there for another few moments, chewing it over, fidgeting, clearly loathing the fact that he was being convinced.

Then, finally—

“Fine!”

A grin exploded onto your face.

Liam pointed a warning finger at both of you. “But if I regret this? I am making both of you suffer.”

Hermes just grinned. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

And just like that, Liam was in.