Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The shock was painted all over Reagan’s face, as he saw his twenty-seven year-old sister come striding into his campaign office, especially since the Demir sibling hadn’t been on speaking terms for years.

“Hey there, big brother.” Her voice as mirthful as when they were children, he could see her clear blue eyes sizing him up. “Seems I should say big sister.”

Sarah stood up from her chair to move closer to the newcomer, aware that the young woman’s entrance had caused at least a few to pause their work to see what the fuss was about. A small pulse of pleasure ran through her, knowing she was the cause of watercooler gossip.

“I understand the two of you haven’t had a chance to speak in some time. Both pretty with your blonde hair and blue eyes, and your outfits even match. It’s like kiss-met”

Swallowing hard, Reagan took his sister in, not registering the woman’s mispronunciation of kismet, the exact kind of gaffe he’d quietly judge any other day. Callie, more often than not, was well put together. Even when she wore loose jeans and a t-shirt she always had boys after her. Those loose jeans over time became tighter as she came into herself and only encouraged the boys more. Little did anyone know that they were barking up the wrong tree.

That day she had her long golden-blonde hair down, and she was wearing a white, long-sleeved, patterned lace blouse with a plunging neckline, and a red pleated skirt, accented by a braided leather belt around her tiny waist. Black, suede, cross strapped, pointed-toe flats sat on her feet, clicking as they made contact with the tile of Reagan’s office. She looked great, and if he hadn’t known better he would have thought the vulture of a reporter was right, and that they had planned their ensembles together that morning.

A few small details really struck Reagan - the fact he was wearing high heels and she wasn’t, and the fact his first thought about her shoes after was wondering where she got them.

“Hi, Callie, it’s uhh… great… to see you.”

Sarah lightly clapped her hands together, clearly excited. She motioned for Reagan to stand. “I would love to get a shot of the two of you together - a nice hug between the Demir girls.”

Callie didn’t know what she was expecting when the reporter talked her into coming. She found her on a bad week. Her and Madison’s relationship was struggling, and the two were on another break. The woman had offered to pay for her drinks if she just told the woman about her childhood growing up with her brother.

In a dark place, and a few drinks of top shelf **** later, she talked and talked, and talked, and in the end she ended up standing right there in front of her big brother. She had seen Reagan’s commercial. She and her other sisters had been texting about it, non-stop, ever since. Reagan had been ducking their calls, and wasn't responding to text messages. All of it felt so surreal. She knew him - really knew him, or at least she thought she did.

“How full of shit are you?” Just as quickly as she’d arrived, her voice lost its chipper playfulness, as she glared Reagan in the eye.

‘He looks so much like Heather…’ she thought, even as she tried to call him out.

“I uhh…”

Reagan pressed his painted lips together, feeling every eye in the building on him. He now thoroughly understood the measure of Sarah McKinley. She wanted to undo him - to destroy everything he sacrificed so much for. It was all a sham, but people weren’t supposed to know that. Now, here was his little sister, seeing right through him.

“What kind of question is that?” Reagan chuckled nervously. “I’m a lawyer and a politician.”

In spite of herself, Callie had to stifle a laugh. As her expression softened, Reagan could feel himself relax, but his heartbeat still thumped a mile a minute. A little smile crept onto her face, and Callie let out a huff.

“I also would have accepted yes as an answer.” She looked her sibling up and down again. Reagan was sitting when she first came in, but seeing the graceful movements, those breasts bouncing with each step, it all suddenly became real. “This… is it all true?”

“Well, the girls aren’t lying.” he said, eyeing his own body one more time, each and every curve suddenly that much more obvious to the feminized man. “A republican coming out during an election isn’t exactly what most people would call a winning strategy either.”

He really wanted his sister to stop asking questions. It was just one of the reasons he hadn’t spoken with the elder Demir girls. If anyone would see through him it was them. They knew he wasn’t what he was portraying himself as. The idea that their skirt-chasing brother was actually a heterosexual woman was so absurd on face value, that they’d sniff out the truth in an instant, and he couldn’t risk the possibility of somebody overhearing that complicated conversation.

Her hands over her gaping mouth, Callie shook her head. Reagan had been so dismissive of her when she came out. “You never talked about this with any of us.”

It wasn’t a question. If he had, Heather would have been supportive from the get go. It would have eaten her up inside to keep the secret but she would have, and when he was ready, she would have been his biggest cheerleader, just like she had for Callie.

Vicky wouldn’t have been supportive, but she was hardly supportive of anything that didn’t benefit her directly. When Callie came out, she saw it as the new normal, treating her exactly the same as she always had.

Then Callie thought of their father. ‘Bless his soul.’ She was positive that if there was an afterlife, he wouldn't be cold. The man was type to never stop moving, and that applied doubly to his lovelife. Aside from that, he always had money in his pocket from his successful used car lot and her brother idolized him.

The pieces felt like they were falling into place. Reagan looked to their father as to what a man was supposed to be, knowing he could never let out what was inside because there would be no acceptance - only rejection. Callie reasoned that must have been why Reagan always behaved as though he had something to prove.

“Reagan, I’m so sorry.”

Unsure of what Callie was apologizing for, Reagan glanced at the reporter, nowhere near as smug as she was a few moments before. His sister had only said a few words, but they carried a great deal of emotion.

‘Reconciliation’ was the word that went through his mind. The reporter wanted to peek behind the curtain. More than that, she wanted to toss a grenade into a strained relationship, but one that had been stable, in its own way, for a long time. Reagan wasn’t going to give the woman what she wanted, but he had a different story for her instead.

Stepping forward he wrapped his arms around his younger sister, leaning in and whispering, but loud enough to be overheard, “No… I’m sorry… for so long I have been sorry.”

The hug he had planned, along with the matching apology, all to put on a good show. What he wasn’t prepared for was the flood of emotion that followed the words. He’d been trying to stuff it down for years, but the stubborn man had carried a guilt over that last day he and his sister spoke, but he could never bring himself to apologize. Admitting he was wrong might have been a strategic decision, but the catharsis of finally saying something he’d been quietly wishing he could say for years broke the dam holding back a decade’s worth of tear burst, as he and his sister began to cry, despite the fear of ruining his makeup floating around in the back of Reagan’s mind.

“Fucking emotions…” he whined.

Pulling back from the sister she hardly knew, Callie wiped a tear from a cheek. “Yeah… It's okay though. I’m a licensed bar tender, so I’m basically a therapist that lets my patients drink.”

Unable to hold back a smile, much the same as how he couldn’t stop himself from crying, Reagan paused to appreciate the moment. It was fake - his life was fake, but the emotions were as real as Reagan could feel. “Wait, do you really have a license?”

“YES!” Callie said defensively. “The RVP, responsible vendor program, but,” she shrugged, “it’s an online course.”

“Well…” Sarah interjected, suddenly extremely uncomfortable. When she drew up the meeting in her mind, she did not expect the teary-eyed reunion she got. “Since I have you here, how was Reagan when they were younger? Were there signs that Reagan was trans? I would imagine there had to be a great deal of them. Something like this doesn’t come from nowhere.”

‘Fuck you.’ Reagan thought. “We should probably end the interview now. I would love the chance to reconnect with my sister. I do apologize for cutting our time short, but family has to come first.”

Placing her hand on her siblings forearm, Callie gave an uneasy smile. “It's okay. I may have told her some not-so-nice things about you the other night. Sorry… I was angry and… well a little drunk.” Turning to look at the older woman, Callie continued, “There were plenty of signs.”

“There were?” Reagan asked in reflex.

Giving her now sister a small nod, Callie looked back to the reporter. “Yes, Miss McKinley I know I said there was no way Reagan wasn’t full of shit, but really, when you think about it, the signs were all there. I remember Reagan had a girl over with her bedroom door shut. When she left, our Dad gave Reagan a little jab on the arm, and said something about the apple and not falling far from the tree. You know what I mean. Then he told her to go wash the lipstick from her lips.”

Callie squinted, trying to remember that day so long ago when she had just started middle school.

“I don’t think they were kissing at all.” Looking back to Reagan, the twenty-something asked, “I’m right aren’t I!?”

Opening his mouth, letting it hang, and then closing it without saying a word, Reagan looked in the direction of Eva’s office.

‘Where is that fake emergency!?’

With the planned escape not happening, Reagan swallowed more of his pride, leaving just a few scant scraps behind.

“I didn’t think you knew.”

“I do now. Some lawyer you are, telling on yourself like that.” Callie hooked her thumb in her siblings direction. “Or I am just an insightful person. Anyhow, even when we were older I remember at a family gathering, Reagan was complaining about a girl she took to the mall. She called her ungrateful. She went on about wanting to buy her a nice dress for some future date, a play right out of our fathers play book, or so I thought at the time. Apparently…” Callie glanced back at Reagan. “Do you remember her name?”

Reagan wasn’t sure where the story was going, though he knew exactly who she was talking about. He had enough sense to not give the journalist any more ammunition. “Can’t say I do.”

Bobbing her head from side to side, Callie seemed to be contemplating something.

“Doesn’t matter. Reagan was upset because the girl didn’t like what she picked out for her. A bit sweet, a bit controlling, kinda thoughtful, but you can only imagine how often Reagan did this sort of thing.”

“Yeah…” Reagan agreed hesitantly. Taking a girl shopping was something he’d done numerous times, plying them with gifts so he could ultimately have his way.

“Exactly!” Callie pointed at Reagan like she was unveiling the murderer at the end of a noir thriller. “Reagan was just trying to live vicariously through them, picking out clothes she wanted to wear, paying to get their nails done because she wanted to. Heck, when Reagan got her first real job out of college I know for a fact she got a manicure to celebrate.”

Looking down at his nails, Reagan really didn’t enjoy the revised history of his life. “That… is a good observation.”

Callie gave yet another shrug, tilting her head to the reporter. “Yeah, it’s super obvious now. Do you want to hear about the time she tried to hide in the closet when Heather and Vicky were having a slumber party?”

Reagan remembered that clearly, he was in fifth grade, their parents were still together, and they all still lived in New York. He had the biggest crush on one of Vicky’s classmates, a guest at the party. He really didn’t want Callie to turn another boyhood memory into an obvious sign of his girlhood. Before he could try and fail to stop her, the authoritative of his campaign manager spoke up from behind them.

“That sounds like a story I would love to hear.” Eva pointed towards Reagan with her cell phone. “Cinderella here is about to turn back into a pumpkin, so she needs to head back to her office. We’ve got a few more items of the itinerary before we can call it a day”

She might let out an exasperated sigh, but Eva really loved steering the chaos.

“Sorry to interrupt the interview. and truly,” she looked in the direction of the long haired blonde. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Callie. I’m so sorry to steal her away. You have no idea how many times I told Reah she was acting like a fool.”

“Hey!” Reagan protested, not just at the comment, but at how she kept ordering him around.

“REAH!? I love that for Reagan.” Callie squeezed her siblings arm, seeing that day at Owls in a whole new light.

It was just like the Reagan Callie remembered to make somebody else’s problem about herself, even if she didn’t come out and say it. Her coming out had made Reagan feel more insecure, so it made perfect sense for the closeted trans woman to cover it up with macho bullshit.

“I know you’re super busy this week. We will talk later and I am absolutely going to tell…” Callie tried to think of the auburn-haired woman’s name, realizing they hadn’t yet been introduced. “...anyone who will listen about how you got caught trying to sneak into that slumber party. She laughed, “Everyone thought you were a little creeper. If we only knew.”

Sarah clenched her jaw, as she realized that her scheme was falling about right before her eyes. “I suppose I have plenty to write about, thank you all for your time.”

With his sister departing and the interview over, Reagan went back to his office, Eva following along. Raising his arms above his head, the skirted man declared his victory.

“And it's good!” Pivoting and turning on the ball of his foot, he smiled at his friend. “She should have never made it into the building. Tell whoever the fuck set up that interview they are done here. I doubt that was part of Albert’s agenda, not after spending that much money. Fire the rogue agent.”

Eva was going to do more than just send them packing, she was going to eviscerate them. “Looks like something good came out of that fiasco though.”

“Yeah…” Reagan pulled his phone out of his purse and opened the camera. After the tearful reunion, his face was a mess, and his makeup in **** need of repair. “Now my sister thinks… how could she believe this?”

“Because, Reah, you sold it to her. Selling ice to a polar bear is what you do. …though I would imagine you can understand her more now than when you were younger.”

Sitting back down in his chair Reagan retrieved a small makeup kit along with a travel size bottle of aspirin. “I do, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree with it.”

Clenching her jaw, Eva unlocked her phone, tapping through a few screens before looking back up to Reagan as he busily preened over his appearance. “You don’t actually still think that way do you?”

“Yes I do… and no. She can do what she wants, with whomever she wants. I just, she should be happy… be happy, and not be harassed for it but…” A thought of Elias rubbing his feet as they competed against one another, playing along with the contestants on The Price is Right while a bit tipsy came to mind. “Attraction is nuanced and weird.”

“Oh look, she can learn and grow!”

“Har har.” Reagan gave a mock laugh. “Now, unless you want to crawl under my desk, I have to get some work done.” He hadn’t said something close to that to Eva in ages. They were once simple jokes, but right then it was just a fragile attempt to reassert his dominance.

“Hmm.” Eva considered. “How to tackle that? Remind the lawyer about sexual harassment lawsuits? Tell an objectively beautiful woman I don’t swing that way? No, I think I’m just going to call my brother and you two love birds can deal with your sexual proclivities on your own.”

With a tilt of her head and a smug smile on her face, Eva made her way out of the room to leave the feminized man to do the important work of fixing his makeup. She could see Reagan had grown, and while they were still an ass, progress was still progress. Her project just needed a little more sculpting.