A difficult return to normal

After making sure I was ready, I left the flat and went to the bar. I was lost in thought as I walked, still wondering what I should do from now on. I could continue living my own life for a while, but time was ticking, I knew I would have to give it up sooner or later.

How long can I last? Should I try to delay the inevitable as much as possible? Or should I simply bite the bullet and accept it?

Now that I was able to think more clearly, the thought wasn't as uncomfortable and depressing as it was when I first learnt about it from Dahlia, thanks to Claire, Sarah, and Dahlia's support. I now knew I wouldn't be completely alone should I get a new life.

And it wasn't like my current life was fulfilling, in all honesty. Spending those days as Katherine and Sarah made me realise just how shallow my life has been since I've been kicked out. Being them was such a thrill, I loved every single second of my time in their skins, and a part of me wished for more experiences like that. I wanted to discover new fields and different lives, and I wasn't even sure if it was my new skinwalker instincts making me feel this way, or simply a deeply buried desire my transformation unleashed.

I felt myself eyeing some of the attractive women I crossed paths with, admiring them for their beauty and looks, but also now for another, more shameful reason too...

I tried to look at some handsome men, but imagining myself wearing them was only making me uncomfortable. I didn't have any desire to become another man, for a reason I couldn't explain.

I only feel this way with women... Why is that? I wondered. I've lived all my life as a man until now but never felt this way...

I already admitted to Claire and Sarah how much I've loved my time as a woman, there was no need to deny my feelings any longer. I didn't know why, but I was craving to live as a woman...

Since Sarah and Claire both accepted me, I suppose there's no issue wearing another woman in the future to satiate my urges, or even in the long term...

I started to daydream, thinking about the kind of life I'd like to experience. I remembered the jealousy I felt when I was on the college campus towards the students there, wishing to experience college life as the chance had been taken away from me by my father. Becoming a college student was so tempting, I knew I would love it, but it would make things more difficult with Sarah considering she was a professor there...

I could become another professor, as I had a blast teaching as Katherine. It was so fulfilling, and I would love to feel that again, sharing my borrowed knowledge with students and helping them. But hanging out with Dahlia would be awkward...

Before being kicked out, I dreamed of becoming a lawyer, and the possibility was now open to me, albeit in a more twisted way, so it was another thing to consider. I could easily find a cute lawyer and experience her life, see what exactly it entailed.

I have pretty much limitless opportunities now... I don't have to settle for one thing right away, I can experiment...

I stopped my daydreaming when I arrived in front of the bar, the facade illuminated by the setting sun. My boss was already there, greeting me with a friendly smile, and asking if I was feeling better. I told him I was, thanking him for his understanding, and helped him ready the bar for our nightly customers.

My shift started without much issues but, like earlier, I would occasionally find my eyes lingering on women I found attractive, these weakened cravings manifesting themselves again. How I wanted to slip inside one of their skins and see what kind of lives they had...

It was so strange to have these desires suddenly, a small part of me still ashamed despite all the reassurance I've received. My mind was quite occupied during the evening, imagining all sorts of fantasies about the cute college girl partying with her friends, or the attractive nurse in her thirties drinking her heart out and complaining about her tiring and ungrateful job whenever she had some free time, or the elegant blonde woman on a date with her boyfriend...

My mind has truly been warped by this curse... And yet, I can't even truly hate it...

"Evening, Ed~" A familiar, loving voice said, breaking me out of my reverie. Sarah was here, smiling at me. "Lost in thought?"

I chuckled awkwardly, my cheeks red. "Y-yeah... These recent events really made me reconsider a lot of things. Anyway, want the usual?"

"Please. And I'm curious to know what you've been reconsidering?"

I went to prepare her usual cocktail, a Strawberry Daiquiri, and spoke while I was making it. "I can't really talk about it here, but we can speak tomorrow if you'd like."

"Sure, we can eat lunch together. Meet me in front of the campus at twelve?"

"Alright. Here's your drink." I said, giving her the glass. "And it's on me, to thank you for your support."

Sarah giggled. "Oh, you don't have to thank me. Isn't it normal to help those you care about?"

"I guess it is."

"Am I allowed to order something as well?" Another familiar voice asked in a teasing tone. When I glanced left, I saw Dahlia, sitting nearby and observing us, amused. "I didn't want to interrupt you two, you're such a loving couple."

She was a lot more relaxed than earlier, the conversation we had clearly helped ease her fears and worries and make her more comfortable with us.

I laughed shyly and approached her. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice you. What would you like? I can make most of the cocktails here without ****."

She looked at the menu for a brief moment. "Hmm, maybe a Sex on the Beach?"

I nodded. "Alright, it'll be ready in a bit." It didn't take long for me to prepare it, and I served it to her with a smile. "Here you go, I hope you'll enjoy it."

"I will~" She replied before taking a sip. "Delicious, you're really good at it."

I blushed slightly at her praise. "Thanks."

Sarah came closer, sitting next to Dahlia. "Good evening, Dahlia. How are you? Even if I remember this morning, we haven't technically seen each other yet today."

Dahlia smiled at her. "I'm good, thank you. What about you? How did you find the experience?"

"Fascinating, and more enjoyable than I imagined." Sarah admitted without shame before grinning at me. "And I did learn a few more things about Ed thanks to this~"

Dahlia giggled softly. "You really are an interesting woman, Sarah."

"I can say the same about you, Dahlia. Ed didn't lie earlier, I would truly love to get to know you better."

"Likewise." Dahlia replied, writing down her phone number. "Here, if you'd like to text me."

"Thank you. To our newfound friendship." Sarah declared, raising her glass toward Dahlia's.

It made Dahlia laugh quietly, but she followed Sarah's gesture and raised her glass as well. "To our friendship."

More clients were starting to show up, so I went to take care of them and left Dahlia and Sarah alone. I checked on them a few times, watching them speak and laugh. They truly seemed to get along well, something I was relieved for.

We occasionally exchanged brief conversations, during which we spoke about each other's lives and families. Dahlia was obviously talking about the original Dahlia's family, but she clearly loved them deeply from the tone of her voice and her expression when she mentioned them. She had a younger brother wanting to become an English teacher in Japan, because he's a fan of manga and Japanese culture. Her mother was working as a medical secretary in her hometown, and her father was the director of a company specialised in management consulting. They were both workaholics but very kind, apparently.

Sarah was an only child and her parents were divorced, so she didn't have much to say. Her father remarried and pretty much cut ties with her mother and her, and her mother was a librarian. It was due to her that she became so passionate about literature.

Meanwhile, I kept things brief and mainly spoke about my sister while avoiding mentioning my parents. I didn't want to sour the jovial mood.

The night went on like this, and it soon became time for the girls to return home, as it was getting late.

"I should catch some sleep and get ready for this week's classes. See you tomorrow, Ed~" Sarah said first, standing up.

I leaned on the counter, smiling at her. "Rest well, Sarah. And be careful on your way home."

Sarah wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer, giving me a languid kiss. "Dahlia is escorting me, so it'll be fine. She offered to earlier."

"I see, thanks for that, Dahlia." I said, nodding at her.

Dahlia smiled warmly at me. "No problem, Ed. Good luck with the rest of your shift."

"Thanks. See ya, you two."

They put on their jackets and waved at me as they walked away, still chatting together. Speaking to them helped keep my mind focused, but now that they were leaving, it was harder. There were still a few women at the bar despite the time, and I could feel my thoughts drifting towards imagining the kind of lives they had, how it'd be like to wear their clothes and hang out with their friends, enjoying deceiving their entourage...

I took a deep breath and tried my best to ignore these thoughts and stay focused until I finished my shift, somewhat successfully. As I was closing the bar, I let out a sigh of relief, glad that the day was over. I wished my boss a good night and returned home.

Claire was asleep, so I kept quiet and quickly changed into my pajamas before going to bed. I was exhausted and only wanted to sleep, hoping that at least in my dreams, I'd be spared from these incessant fantasies.