He’s not nice. *And* he’s dead, so he’s double-scary.

(POV - COCKTEASE) (HOURS AGO)

PURPLE HAZE.

JIMI HENDRIX HAD A SONG LIKE THAT RIGHT?!

I DID NOT LISTEN TO HIM MUCH! I PREFERRED LYNYRD SKYNYRD!

WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS?

OH, YEAH; THE PURPLE SMOKE SHIT. IT IS FUCKING EVERYWHERE!!

WHEN I CAME HOME FROM THE WAR, EVERYTHING WAS DIFFERENT. PLACES HAD CLOSED, PEOPLE HAD DIED; FAMILY HAD MOVED, FRIENDS WERE MARRIED. I FELT SO OUT OF PLACE. I HATED IT!

I AM REMINDED OF THAT NOW, IN THIS NEW PLACE. IT IS LOVUS, BUT… WRONG. I KNOW I WAS DEAD, BUT WAS THE WORLD TOO?

I SAW THINGS. MY RAGE FUELED ME IN WAYS I COULD NEVER IMAGINED. I COULD SEE EVENTS I DID NOT LIVE AT TIMES. I GRAZED AGAINST GHOSTLY FIGURES AS THEY PASSED, AND I SAW HOW THE WORLD HAD WRONGED THEM.

A WIFE, CHEATED ON. A MAN, FIRED FROM HIS JOB. A CHILD, GROUNDED FOR FAILING A TEST.

SOME PEOPLE WERE WORSE. A MAN WHO WAS PLANNING TO **** HIS FAMILY; HIS RAGE CAME FROM SOMETHING SO… UNDERSTANDABLE… HE DID NOT FEEL APPRECIATED.

I COULD NOT TELL IF I WAS SEEING THE PAST, PRESENT, OR FUTURE. ALL I KNEW WAS ANGER, AND IT WAS ALL I COULD SEE.

I FOUND SOMEONE… DIFFERENT. SHE HAD TO BE DEAD TOO, BUT SHE WAS NOT PURPLE. SHE WAS PRETTY. SKINNIER THAN I LIKED, BUT PRETTY. SHE WAS READING IN THIS DEEP PURPLE HELL. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND. DID SHE NOT FEEL THE RAGE? HOW COULD SHE SEE THE WORDS THROUGH IT ALL? I APPROACHED HER. I NEEDED ANSWERS. MAYBE SHE COULD… I DON’T KNOW. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WANTED.

SHE SAW ME TOO AND EXCITEDLY GLIDED TOWARDS ME. SHE COULD FLY? COULD I? I HAD NOT TRIED, AS THE POSSIBILITY DID NOT COME TO MY MIND.

“Hey, buddy… do you remember your name?” SHE ASKED. HER VOICE WAS PRETTY, LIKE AN ANGEL… BUT MAYBE I WAS BLINDED BY THE LACK OF REAL HUMAN CONNECTION I HAD HAD AS OF LATE.

“OF COURSE!” SHE JUMPED BACK, STARTLED BY MY VOICE. THAT ANGERED ME SOME, BUT I HAD GROWN DULL TO PEOPLE BEING SCARED OF MY VOICE. “IT’S….”

I… I DIDN’T REMEMBER?… MY OWN FUCKING NAME… GONE?! I REMEMBERED COCKTEASE, BUT THAT WAS A SHITTY NICKNAME. MY NAME….

I FELT MY FISTS CLENCH. MY DAD WAS RIGHT, I WAS JUST A FUCKING RETARD, A MORON, A WASTE, A-

“It’s okay, it’s okay… most people can’t when they die. You do know you’re dead, right?” SHE LOOKED AT ME WITH A CONCERNED EXPRESSION.

I BLINKED OUT OF MY THOUGHTS. “WHAT?! OH, YES… I AM DEAD.”

“Okay, that’s a good start. Here, let me take you to some people who can help you.” SHE TOOK MY HAND AND BEGAN TO PULL ME.

THAT’S WHEN I SAW HIM. THAT FUCKER.

I SAW A MEMORY FROM HER.

(POV - VANESSA, BUT IT IS A FLASHBACK THAT COCKTEASE IS SEEING, WHICH IS ALSO A SCENE WE’VE SEEN ALREADY, BUT NOW FROM A NEW PERSPECTIVE… WE’RE GETTING EXPERIMENTAL, SORRY!)

“Save any lives yet?” I welcomed Michael into the room. He’d starting working with the girls, so I thought I’d tease him some.

His eye twitched. I don’t know why, I guess I’d startled him? He’s been on edge a lot since I’ve met him, so it adds up.

He shook his head. “Not quite. But I did have something nice happen today.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Really? I mean, you deserve it, don’t get me wrong! I’m happy for you. What is it?”

“I got a date with this girl, Caitlin. She’s really sweet.” He smiled. Smiled.

I did not smile back.

“Oh, a date?…” I responded. I… I don’t know how I feel about that. I felt things I’d never felt all of a sudden. Most new feelings with Michael made me feel good, but this… didn’t.

“Yeah, I met her at the movie theater. We talked for a while and she gave me her number.”

“That sounds… great, Michael.” I **** a smile. I felt sick. I needed to leave. “Sorry, but I have to go… now. Spirit world stuff.”

Before he could respond, I was gone.

I entered the spirit realm and started to take breaths to calm down. Unfortunately, the feeling just grew with each breath until I was crying. I hadn’t cried in my sanctuary in a long time. Last time it was fear; this time it was… I don’t know.

I felt… betrayed? But I didn’t know why. We weren’t dating. He didn’t like me. I’m… I’m dead, which I’m sure eliminates me from the dating pool in general. I didn’t even believe in love. My religion viewed love and sexuality in a much different sense than usual.

So why did him meeting someone hurt so much?

Why did it bring so many feelings?

What gives him the right to make me feel this way? I have important shit to do, and now I have to deal with this?

I could be preparing myself. I could be learning. I could be doing what I was born to do.

But instead I was crying over a stupid fucking boy like I’m a dumbass girl in some cheesy flick. Fuck. What a fucking asshole.

I cried for a while. Some of the tears were sadness; some were anger; some… I don’t know.

I think I liked him.

(POV - COCKTEASE) (HOURS AGO)

HIM.

HIM.

HIM.

THAT MOTHER FUCKER!

I SAW HIM!

THE BASTARD THAT GOT ME KILLED!

IN THIS BITCH’S THOUGHTS!

MOTHER FUCKER!

-

Get updates early on https://www.patreon.com/MichaelChaseLit