Self reflection and a chat with Paul

Glimmer finishes the shower and leaves the room just as the robots start their routine… She steps over a familiar-looking robot model that is cleaning the apartment. She swallows and steps into the cold hallway. Her damp hair dries and sticks to the back of her neck. She swipes and shakes her head to hasten the drying process.

In her efforts to bury what just happened to her, she finds herself recovering the memories of David. His kindness. How gentle he was even as she willingly gave her body to him on their first and only night together. It’s coming back, and she can’t take it. She ducks into a closet and tries to calm herself, but now that she’s alone, she starts crying.

“I can’t do this,” she whispers. “I can’t do this anymore. Damn it, David! Why’d you have to ruin this for me?”

Internally, Glimmer blamed herself... She knew she left without even talking to him.

She left without even trying to talk to him.

“What the fuck am I going to do?” She sobs, realizing that Pink Heat pays for everything… She barely made anything for herself, but they housed her, bought the clothes, and paid for her expensive food, bus fees, taxi fees, and everything else.

She breathes in… and then breaks out into sobs again. She curses, shaking herself clear of emotion as she knows management will notice she’s not back from the VIP Rooms… Pleasure Cubes… Glimmer looks around for a mirror or something reflective but can’t find it. So, when her fit is over, she steps out, hoping she isn’t a mess.

Glimmer strides down the hallway and opens the door to the club. It’s too early for dancers or other party-goers to be here; few people are inside the bar. Guards, mostly. Some dancers and regular people. The bar is open. That was the first thing to open.

The reflective tile bounces the snowfall outside as it comes down, more so the natural snow than the dim lights in the interior. She looks up and sees the odd shapes of the fantastic architecture of the building, the outlines of the giant speakers, and the lines of the neon lights still off.

Strange, she’s been here for 2 years, and this is the first time she’s seen these things stick out to her. She marvels at the design and forgets the trauma as she screws her eyes into the posters, hardly visible without their spot RGB spotlights giving them shade and color.

She walks to the center of the dance floor, where the glass cubes look like oversized ice cubes for a giant. The DJ booth is perfectly set on the side of the stage, with no speck of dust on the instruments or control switches. How something so marvelous could also be so sickeningly twisted is beyond her mind.

Paul emerges from the backstage, holding a firearm, and is in full kit. The guards were allowed to have them on, but for some reason, it was weird to see him ready for a gunfight inside the empty dance floor.

“Glimmer?” he says, his voice reverberating as it bounces off the empty tile and glass. "Are you ready for that talk?”

Glimmer looks up at Paul and walks over to step up to the stage. “I am now,” she smiles, relieved to see a man not out to use her for pleasure…

“You’re a mess,” Paul remarks, taking notice of her runny makeup and smudged features.

“Oh,” she chuckled. "I showered up after… dealing with Alexander. I was careless because my next client wasn’t until the afternoon." She shifted gears before the subject could linger on her for long. "But we wanted to talk, right?”

Glimmer could see Paul’s glance lingering on her face longer than she liked. She prayed he wouldn't pry about Alexander because she was unsure if she could prevent herself from falling apart again. Going against his better judgment, he nods. “Yeah… yeah… If you’ve just seemed different, that is all. Since the Neon Light Festival.”

“I do?” She scoffs and laughs a little, covering the insecurities. “How so?”

Paul shrugs. “You’re just… different. You walk in, walk out… When you order a drink, you down it in a few gulps, even.”

“You’ve been watching me then?” She tries to sound neutral but can hear the cutting edge of her tone. “It was a long week with the festival, Paul. Lots of new clients and a ton of return visitors.”

“It started Tuesday morning,” Paul said. “You weren’t just late, but your third client said you seemed… not all there and even **** to give what she wanted.”

Glimmer shakes her head, hiding her dismay with an act of annoyance. “Of course that bitch did!” She recalls the moment. The client wanted Glimmer to ravish her privates, but Glimmer teased for 30 minutes instead, not quite willing to give in to the same sex suddenly. “Look, Paul… I just… It’s been a long week, alright? So you’re not helping by making me complain.”

Paul sucked in on his lower lip and crossed his arms in thought. “Glimmer. Who’d you see on Monday night? I saw you practically running out of the club when you were done in the VIP Section.”

“I FELL IN LOVE!” Glimmer thought about yelling but knew that would be her admitting she had developed feelings for a client. A big “no-no” for escorts at Pink Heat because of situations like this… Her performance was degrading by the customer because she kept remembering David. That "asshole…"

Even with Alexander, her handjob faltered because she remembered that idiot. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Too much time had passed, and Paul noticed it. “Glimmer.”

“I met someone I liked, Paul.” She whispered.

“What?” he stepped closer, not hearing her.

“I met someone,” she whispered again, at the same volume but now closer. Her voice cracked, and she repeated herself the third time, “I met someone, and I really liked them.”

Paul’s face paled over. “You can’t,” he said. “You can’t do that.”

“I know!” she hissed, hating the tears that blurred her vision. “I know that! Don’t you get it? But I can’t stop thinking about him. I left so quickly because I knew I made a mistake! He wanted to talk to me after showering, and I knew if I let myself stay there, I would give up my life.”

Paul listened to Glimmer. Even if he were terminated from this job, he’d have a home to return to. A wife, a family, something instead of nothing. Glimmer, though… Pink Heat was her sugar daddy. It provided everything. It kept Glimmer on a tight lease to ensure she didn’t get far. She racked in thousands of credits every day and kept under a fraction of it.

Glimmer turned her back to the bar so the others couldn’t see her. “I’m such a fucking idiot. I can’t believe I let this happen as soon as management finds out. I’m dead, Paul. They’ll fire me, and then I’m on the streets.”

“What was his name?” Paul asked.

“David Warner,” she sighed. “Why?”

“Did he… did he care about you? What made you fall in love with him?”

Glimmer scoffed, her eyes looking up as she had to pick what made him so special. “He looked at me,” she remembered, tears swelling. “Not just… not like a freak, but he looked at me, and I saw another human in his eyes, Paul.”

Paul walks over and takes her hand, guiding her to the backstage. “Sssh. Don’t let the others see you like this.”

Backstage, Paul sits her down and kneels, holding her knee. “I’ll find David for you.”

She shakes her head. “You’ll get fired if they find you doing it,” she sobs.

“I own what I have,” Paul says. “I’ll make it possible for you two to meet again.”

“Paul,” she whines.

“Shut up,” he says sternly. And Glimmer shuts up. “I’ll find this guy for you and make it possible for you to meet. If he’s serious about you, I’ll help you get out of this messy employment gig. Alright?”

Glimmer wipes her nose. “But…”

“Think about it,” he says. “I don’t know if cameras are back here, but we can’t stay here long anyway. Take a shower, get a drink, get relaxed.”

Glimmer takes a deep breath, nodding. She isn’t sure what to say, but she feels compassion awaken for Paul. It’s different from what Glimmer felt for David, but also the same. It wasn’t the same love… it dawned on her that even love has other languages and dialects… love was unique, Glimmer concluded as she coped and tried to figure out why he might’ve been doing this. When she returned to her senses, she saw Paul was already gone… She needed to get ready for Blank. That bastard was her next client.