Yes, the author *is* stupid!

I felt very stupid as I called a taxi to drive me to my van.

Once I arrived back to the apartment after wasting both time and money, I found the girls gathered on the couch, brownies in hand.

Sara noticed me first and waved. “Hey, Michael! How did-“

“Shhhhhh!” Kate hissed. She had a pen and paper in her hand.

I leaned into the room a little more to get a proper look at the television. It was Jeopardy (I assumed a rerun, since it had the dead dude in it).

As soon as the host finished the question, Kate scribbled onto her page. Once the answer was revealed, she pumped her fist in a small celebration.

Commercials came on afterwards and the other girls let out a collective breath of relief.

“Sorry, she’s always like this on Jeopardy night.” Kenzie smiled wearily.

“We had to make her stop yelling out the answers. Now she writes them.” Ava added.

Kate ticked her tongue. “Hey, no complaining. You all get your nights; this is my night. What if I complained about you guys’ stuff?”

“Wait, you guys get nights?” I asked.

Kate nodded. “Yeah; Kenzie said group activities helps the team work better together. So: Sara gets movie night, I get this tonight, Ava has concert night, and Kenzie has… her night.”

“Her night?”

“Bayer.” Kenzie responded.

“Bare?” I asked, confused.

Ava snorted. “Basically.”

Kenzie huffed. “No: bay-er. It’s a special night of prayer for my faith.”

“That you get naked for.” Ava added.

“Yes, that is part of the ritual.” Kenzie shrugged.

Kate blushed. “B-but… I mean, Michael doesn’t have to participate in that one, right?”

Kenzie looked appalled at the thought. “What?! Of course he does!”

The mental image of all the girls naked was very pleasant. Them praying in the image made it less exciting, but it was hot nonetheless.

“However, if it would please you all: he is allowed to pray within the confines of his own room.”

Kate let out a sigh of relief. My penis was furious.

“Wait, do I get a night? Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?”

They all looked between themselves.

“Uh… hadn’t come up yet, I guess.” Kenzie shrugged. “Do you have something you’d like us to do?”

My penis suggested a few options, but I pushed his thoughts to the side. Unfortunately, the rest of me didn’t have any ideas. I really was boring.

“I’ll… get back to you on that.”

Kate shushed everyone as the show came back on. She held her pen and paper tight, holding on to every word from the host. Everyone suggested guesses when they had an idea, but most of them were wrong. I didn’t get a single question right the entire round, while Kate seemed to get them all based on her fist pumps.

Eventually, another commercial break hit. Attention was back on me.

Ava stared daggers at me. “You got a date?”

Before I could respond to the aggressive statement, Sara spoke up.

“I think she meant to ask how the date went.” She giggled.

“Oh, it was… good. Very good. I like her a lot.”

Four pairs of eyes stared back at me with blank expressions.

“… And?…” Kenzie raised an eyebrow.

“Huh?”

“Come on, details! How’d she look, what did you do, etc etc!”

“Oh.” I replied. “Well… she looked pretty. She had this nice green dress on. We met at her favorite restaurant and ate there. I ended up throwing up-“

Ava and Kenzie burst out laughing before I could continue. Sara and Kate had looks of utter shock.

“You threw up?!” Sara asked with absolute bewilderment.

“Not, like, at the table! But I don’t like Lovusian food; like, really don’t like it.” I said, putting my hands up defensively.

“So, what? She immediately left?” Ava snorted.

“No, no! She let me have the rest of the milkshake we were sharing.”

Again, Ava and Kenzie burst out laughing. This time, Sara and Kate made ‘awww’ noises and smiled.

“Oh my God, you shared a milkshake?! Like, two straws?!” Kate asked.

“Yeah. It was a pretty good milkshake.”

Sara and Kate looked at each other and laughed.

“What?!” I asked. I felt my ears burn as the group laughed at me.

“You’re just… such a dude.” Sara giggled.

I wanted to direct attention away from the dinner portion of the date. “After that, we went bowling!”

Sara turned her nose up. “Are you one of those pricks who is amazing at bowling, so you ask a girl out to go so you can seem super cool when you do well?”

“What? No! I was terrible!” I said defensively. “Wait, she said the same thing; does that happen a lot or something?”

“Yeah. A lot.” Sara groaned.

“And that’s it. The date ended there; vomiting aside, I think it went well. We’re going to go on a second, at least.”

Kenzie clapped. “Good man, Michael! A good hero is able to have a way to get out sexual frustrations! For instance, whenever Kate gets worried about a mission, I usually-“

“THE SHOW IS BACK ON!!!” Kate yelled, interrupting the tangent I was very excited to hear about.

-

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