Party Gifts 3/4 (Alexis PoV)

Disgust filled me as I looked down at a body not my own. The money I held was little comfort for the loathing I had for myself. Not because I let another man use me, but because I was so fucking happy about it. The money was a piss-poor excuse to enjoy my Gift.

I was in a familiar room, struggling to get myself off. Frustration overpowered the pleasure. Why? Why didn’t it feel as good as it had been with him? I wanted that feeling. The rush that blew away the misery.

Maybe he’d ask me out again. If I had sex again, would I feel that rush?

For the first time, I felt push back from Chloe as she struggled to keep a part of herself closed off, but we were too deep for that. There was no hiding herself from me, not here.

Men. Money. Euphoria.

I fought off a smirk. For so long, that bitch thought of me as nothing but a fucking pet, teasing me with her unwanted scraps. Her friendship was poison, offering nothing but thorns as I held on with everything I had. Yet it was her man between my legs. The look on her face when it came out her boyfriend was one of my regulars had been sweet. I enjoyed the heat of the flames as I set this torturous wreath of thorns she trapped me in, not caring as the flame consumed me in the process.

Alone. I was alone. Sure, I had plenty of attention from the guys, but it was all empty. It was fine though. I had my Gift. Euphoria made the loneliness tolerable. Outside of that, there were plenty of distractions. I had money now, and it was amusing how guys who looked at me like shit they stepped in now bent over backwards for my attention.

Chloe was actively trying to pull away, but my Gift didn’t let her. I hated this part of myself. This wasn’t who I was, not anymore.

No, that wasn’t right. This wasn’t me. For a moment, I was myself again and terror took me as I felt my Gift run free. Was I doing to Chloe what I did with my sister? Thoughts of Natalie caused old memories to flood back.

Screaming was poorly muffled by the closed door. They were fighting again. I flinched as something shattered, pulling myself into a ball. Fear closed in around me. My sister would know what to do. She always did. But Natalie was gone, escaped long ago through the window. I wanted to go with her, but she told me no, shoving me away. Why? Why couldn’t I go with her? She was always so happy when she returned.

Natalie was... different now. Older? I didn’t question her when she told me to pack only what was important, stuffing meager possessions into my school backpack. I was just happy she was back, even if she was going to leave me again. I stood, watching the familiar sight of her climbing out the window. The feeling of being alone crept back, suffocating me. I knew that this time, she wasn’t coming back. There was something about the look in her eye and the expression she had that told me she had finally had enough. She paused, turning to look at me from the other side. Her hand was warm as she pulled me up through the window.

I was a broken mess, hopping from bed to bed. No idea what even started this and didn’t care. All that mattered was my next fix. Men, women, why limit myself? Pleasure was pleasure and it didn’t matter where I got it. Most guys were annoying though. So what if I slept with you? Just because we had sex doesn’t mean I belong to you! Ugh. The last thing I wanted was to get tied down. I was used to being alone after all. I didn’t need anyone. Natalie would be angry, but that was expected. I hated how clingy she was. Why couldn’t she just leave me alone? Wouldn’t be the first time she abandoned me when things got difficult.

She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on. The music was thumping, but nothing mattered but her. She was surrounded by guys, but I noticed her checking me out a few times. Surely not...? I felt funny as she introduced herself, casually ignoring the **** men trying to fight for her attention. The jolt that ran through me when she asked if I wanted to meet her boyfriend. The pleasure that followed was so much better than usual. Her pulling me back to bed when I tried to run in the morning.

Flashes of experiences with Victoria flooded the connection. A kindred spirit seeking pleasures of the flesh. The fun we had...

I wasn’t alone anymore.

Chloe swirled around me, in me, joined together by my Gift as the sense of self became blurred. Hers, mine, I didn’t know or care. I accepted them all. Memories and thoughts flowed too fast to process as we circled a shared point.

Jake. The unmovable rock in the sea of euphoria. My refuge from myself. I was safe there, protected from myself. He gave me the clarity to find myself, and while I knew there was still a lot to discover about myself, it was because of him that I was where I was. I was happy, and not because of my Gift. Genuine happiness.

Jake. The weird and frustrating neighbor who I couldn’t get a read on. I’d been rejected plenty of times, but he was different. I could be myself around him and know that it didn’t matter. He demanded nothing from me, accepting whatever I freely gave. Victoria may have opened the door, but it was him who gave me reason to step through.

For a moment, two became one.

Reality returned as I found myself panting for breath. There was no pain or backlash from the connection breaking—probably because it was still there. Faint, but my Gift was still connecting Chloe and I together. It was weakened, but I was shocked the sensation of losing myself and the pullback hadn’t severed it. When I experienced that with Natalie, it had been frightening and we both revolted from the experience. Nothing like that happened with Chloe.

Somewhere along the way, I ended up atop her. We were both breathing hard, her face probably as flushed as mine was. That had been... intense. I never experienced anything like it. With Natalie, there had always been some separation there, but this? I wanted her to see me, and she had mirrored that desire. Acceptance fueling our desire to open ourselves despite the fear of rejection; the disgust of facing the parts of ourselves we would rather hide.

“You okay?” I asked, breathless.

She nodded, lips parted in the most precious of expressions. I couldn’t resist. Breath be damned, I needed her. The kiss was deep and everything fell away.

“Incredible.” We both flinched, pulling away to look at Jake. I felt Chloe’s shame and embarrassment at having forgotten her boyfriend. Her guilt echoed mine. I’d had plenty of threesomes, and I’d never tunnel visioned on a single partner like that since my first.

I looked down at Chloe, and she was as amused as I was. Two incredibly hot women together, and he wasn’t looking at either of us. Hell, I think he forgot all about us, his gaze firmly fixed on... something.

“Your boyfriend is weird,” I whispered.

“He grows on you.”

I hesitated, our connection weak enough that I couldn’t get much beyond surface thoughts. I was unable to prevent my anxiety from leaking into my words. “I don’t think he would mind us continuing.” I’d never let anyone in like I had with Chloe, and a part of me wanted to continue like this; just the two of us.

She grazed her lip with her teeth, and I found myself distracted by the sight. “Yeah...” She lifted her hand to brush my cheek and I found myself relishing the touch. “But I want our first time to be all of us.”

First time? That implied more to come.

So yeah, that worked too.

I gave her a confident smile, the moment shifting to something I was far more familiar with. “I don’t know, he seems happy enough as he is. Think we can entice him to join us?”

“I’m sure we can think of something.”