The Secret Place

Once my legs stopped shaking enough to support me I got up and stumbled over to my bike. Derek was long gone, but a few of the other students had stuck around to gossip and laugh about my extremely public first kiss. My cheeks were burning and I couldn’t catch my breath, the weight of their attention crushing me as I climbed onto my bike and finally escaped the school grounds.

Now I’m racing down the road past the outskirts of town, faster than I’ve ever pushed my trusty old mountain bike, **** to get to the one place I know I can be truly alone. Truly hidden. I see the gnarled pine around the curve and point my bike off the pavement and through the bushes, disappearing onto a path no one but me has ever found.

I’m still going dangerously fast. Way too fast for what I generously call a bike trail through the thick woods. Branches and leaves slap against my face and body, making me think of every time Derek laid his hands on me today. The bike seat presses forcefully up into my crotch with every root and rock I roll over, and I tell myself over and over again that the heat between my legs has nothing to do with that awful, stolen, unforgettable kiss.

I see the blue of the Salish Sea begin to peek between the tree trunks and I **** myself to slow down, skidding to a stop as I reach my secret place: a small clearing by a cliff’s edge. I lean my bike against a tree and slowly walk to the edge of the cliff overlooking the water. The sunlight sparkles on the waves and I pull in a deep breath through my nose, allowing the scents of saltwater and pine needles and warm dry earth to mingle within me, centering me, reminding me who I am.

But even this familiar ritual can’t dampen the heat in my core. I take a few steps back into the shadows, enjoying the feeling of being hidden even though nobody out on the water or the far shore could hope to see me anyway. I bump against the rough bark of the old douglas fir and there’s a flash in my mind, a memory of bumping up against another solid body, and then I’m sliding down until my butt hits the dirt and my hands find their way to the front of my jeans. Button undone, zipper down, one hand down into my panties and oh my god, how did they get so damp?

Mmm

Fuck

I’ve never been this wet before.

What is happening?

My clit, my lips, my whole pussy feels swollen, sodden with my juices and I can’t stop moving my fingers. As always I start with gentle swirls of my fingertips over my clit but I’m moving faster this time. I can’t help myself. My legs start to tremble and my toes are curling. Holy shit am I really about to come already? I try to slow down, some part of me wanting to back away from the irresistible orgasm but it’s already too late.

As always, I keep my voice inside, just a low groan that doesn’t escape my throat. Even here, where no one else has ever been, I don’t make any noise when I pleasure myself. It’s only for me. Even the birds and the bugs don’t get to hear that. But I’m breathing so hard, my legs are still shaking, and the tiny part of my brain not swallowed by this sudden cloud of lust is shocked that my fingers are still moving.

I can’t stop it. It just feels too good. Better than it’s ever felt. I’m pressing harder now, using two fingers to rub down and touch my lips, catching the nub of my clit between them. My breaths are so heavy, I feel like I just can’t pull in enough air. My eyes catch a glint of sunlight, a window of a house hidden in the trees far across the water, and my mind fixes on it. Imagines my greatest fear: someone watching me. I know it’s impossible, but in my head someone is in that window and they’re looking right at me as I frig myself in the forest and

“guhhHAAHHHHH!”

This time the orgasm forces sound past my lips, and for the first time ever I give voice to my ecstasy. Jesus. Holy fucking jesus what was that? What is THIS? I still haven’t stopped. My other hand is joining in now, my legs spreading on their own and my pants creeping down my hips to let my damp brown bush peek out above the hem of my sopping wet panties. I’m rolling my clit between two fingers now as my other hand traces the shape of my entrance, around and around and around and in and then I’m thinking of him.

Even in my delirious state, I’d tried to keep him out, keep this about me, save my self-touch for myself alone. But as I part my own lips and enter myself I imagine it. Imagine the feeling of his mouth against mine. The scrape of his sparse stubble against my cheeks. I’d fantasized about my first kiss so many times, believing that someday I would find someone I could show myself to, give myself to, allow into my intimate being. That someone was going to be soft, gentle, inviting me in, allowing me to open up at my own pace. But Derek stole that from me. He stole my first kiss with his strong hands pulling me against his hard hot body and pressing his rough lips against

“HHAAANNGH”

Again, harder, my body curling involuntarily, pulling my back away from the firm cool trunk of the tree and I’m still going. Oh god I can’t stop I just want more. My clit is throbbing and my entrance is sucking my fingers inside like it’s starving. I can’t go too deep, I’ve never gone too deep inside myself but I can’t stop. I want more I want more I want more.

What do I want?

Do I want more of… him?

Do I want him to kiss me again?

What else do I want him to do?

What if I let him? What if I just let him take more kisses from me? More touches? What if instead of him forcing me I just gave in? Let his strong arms hold me down and take whatever he wants from me. That huge body that smile those green eyes filling my vision, covering me, blocking out the whole world, hiding me until there’s nothing of me left just him just him just him

“OOHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa…”

I sing out until all my breath is gone and I finally feel my body go slack, leaning back against the tree as I hear the echo of my voice return to me, reflected off the sea. Is that what I sound like? Is that the sound of me just… letting go? I pull my trembling hands out of my pants and look at them. Flushed and shining, thick strands of girlcum like a spiderweb between my fingers. That’s never happened before.

My heart gradually slows down, my breath returns to me, my mind begins to clear, and I feel a deep horror at myself, at where my desires took me. I don’t want any of that. I don’t want him. I certainly don’t want him to keep doing these things to me. Right? Of course not. But I think about being trapped with him in school five days a week, and I realize I don’t really have a choice.

And that thought makes my clit start to buzz again.