Week 9, Big Issues

Frustrated Amber would have been cute as hell if her ire wasn't directed at me.

“Nate, just fucking tell me what’s going on,” she demanded. “You’ve been acting weird all goddamn week.”

“It’s just a me thing,” I said, looking away.

“You things are my things,” Amber said. “At least they are if I’m your girlfriend.”

I took in a breath but let it out instead of just telling her my own issues.

“Whatever,” she said, standing up and shaking her head. “Let me know when you’re ready to fucking talk to me.”

“Amber,” I said, and I could hear how pitiful it was in my own head.

She turned back towards me at the door, a pained look on her face. “I love you,” she said. “We probably said it too early, but I do. But I love you because of who you are, and this isn’t you.”

The door didn’t quite slam as she shut it behind her.

I knocked on Garringer’s office door. It was supposed to be his office hours. I could hear voices, super muffled and quiet, beyond the door but it took almost a full minute for it to open.

“Ah,” Garringer said as he poked his head out. “Mr Mathews, this is a surprise. Come on in.”

He pulled the door open and I stepped in, coming to a stuttered halt as I realised what had taken so long. Grace, the goth girl from class, was on her stomach on Garringer’s desk, each limb tied to a leg of the furniture. All she was wearing was more rope. She smiled at me around a ball gag in her mouth and winked.

“Miss Tremaine came in asking for some more practice from last week’s lecture,” Garringer said. “Apparently Mr Taylor is all thumbs and wasn’t very good with knots. I’m sure she’d be happy for you to join in.”

“That’s, um, not what I came to talk about,” I said, tempted more than I wanted to admit to myself. Amber and I hadn’t seen each other since Friday night, and it was Wednesday. It was the longest I’d gone without her, or sex, for months. “No offence, Grace.”

“Mmf mmfk,” she said through the ballgag, flashing me an OK sign with one hand.

“Mmm,” Garringer nodded. “I see. Well, let me head you off at the pass then. Your problem, Mr Mathews, is one of confidence and faith. I have provided you all the tools necessary, and you have studied them diligently I assume?” I nodded, and he continued. “Then there is nothing more I can do for you until you step up to the plate knowing what you are capable of.”

“That’s not reassuring,” I said. “Amber and I are… fighting, I guess. This is affecting me a lot.”

“Well, it sounds to me like you need to be a man and step up to the challenge, son,” Garringer said. “Now, unless you’re going to join Miss Tremaine and I in her studies, I think that’s all.”