Neytiri

After spending a brief bit of time on Earth - below and above ground - Neytiri had come to one definitive opinion: she despised this place.

She knew it was wrong to hate the planet itself, an innocent victim in all of this, but she could not help but shudder with every step she took upon this ****, blighted soil.

Anyone in her situation would be homesick, but Neytiri's heart wept for her beloved Eywa'eveng, pangs of sorrow she did not think possible. And everything she saw on this forsaken place only deepened her sadness and indignant rage.

Metal torn from the ground. Domiciles built of stone and steel. Trees and plant-life torn down for humanity's endless need to expand. Animals caged and reared for their flesh, their milk, and their skin. Pollutant poured into the air and water. It all sickened her. Worst of all, was her host, the corpulent Rob Daily, alongside his gaggle of concubines. Constantly rutting for pleasure, not procreation. They were less than beasts, in Neytiri's mind, surrendering themselves to such base pleasures, and then surrounding themselves in luxuries derived from the stolen goods of this world.

She could not imagine any people standing for such barbaric practices, especially her native Na'vi tribespeople, for the Na'vi were the greatest amongst the races. And most humble, too. The most humble; possessing much more nobility than these savage apes she found herself surrounded by.

Most days, she wished to hide away in her room, but every time she attempted to do so, she felt like an animal trapped in a cage. Not to mention, she had no love for any of her fellow captives - all other lesser races who rejected the blessings of Eywa and seemed more receptive of the sins of humanity. That Liara, who preached the heresies of science; the so-called "Captain" Amelia, who dress and spoke like man and piloted great ships only made possible by defiling an innocent planet; and the others who practiced the false faith of the ****. How Neytiri despised them all...

So, with great **** and trepidation, Neytiri slunk from her room each day in a foolish attempt to find a piece of paradise amongst hell. She avoided speaking to any others, less they poison her pure mind with their "different points of view", and she could not flee from the monstrosity Rob Daily called a home. Steel and stone and the toxic sludge humanity had dubbed "plastic", all of the wood chemically treated and burned of it's soul; it stood in counterpoint to all of the most sacred teachings of her people. And the Na'vi were always right, because her elders said so.

Still, even outside on the grounds of this dwelling, Neytiri found no relief. The grass and the trees were "manicured" and "maintained", artificially trimmed and treated for aesthetic purposes, with any animals nesting among them considered pests. There was a pool of water, too, but so laden with chemicals that no life could grow in it (Neytiri despaired that this world was poisoned with so many chemicals, it was abhorrent. She would stick to the natural elements she knew best, like water, air, carbon and sulfur). When she begrudgingly asked one of the nameless thralls Rob kept what it's purpose was, the answer boiled down it was for recreation. Madness.

Recreation, pleasure, luxury... it seemed that these dirty monkeys Neytiri found herself living with only cared for such frivolities. Didn't they know life was about latching on to a set of dusty precepts, never deviating from them, never growing or evolving, and then lording your superiority over others, using your culture as a cudgel to beat them into submission?

She could not imagine a worse fate than withering and dying away from her beloved homeworld, surrounded by these lesser beings. No, wait... "going native" and becoming like a human would be a much worse fate. She shuddered at such a dreadful thought.

Then, one day, a brief spell of madness overtook her. She could not feel comfortable confined to her chambers, no did she find any peace in the nature that human's had ruined. But perhaps, just maybe, there was some place in the exterior of this monument to excess and arrogance that she could find some semblance of peace? It was a crazy idea, but she had hardly explored the home of her captor, so it was worth a shot.

Stalking through the halls and doors, ignoring or rebuffing anyone would dare interact with her, Neytiri studied everything she came across. Most of it was more human nonsense (a room for depositing waste? Why just make water and defecate in the soil?), yet more of it was elaborate memorials to humanity's blind pursuit of pleasure - she found plenty of Rob's harlots dressing in garish clothing made from the skins of beasts and toxic plastics, or even just rutting with themselves. Some she found pleasuring themselves with hands and strange rods and wands. Self-pleasure? What disgusting creatures these humans were...

Her mad idea seemed just that, Neytiri stomping her eight-foot tall frame through the house with a dark scowl on her face, when she came across... something. Behind a door that looked much like any other door, on the ground level of the house and located within the main foyer. She stormed through the lower level grimly, opening and shutting doors with clear frustration, slamming them shut when she saw more worthless things beyond the threshold, but, behind one, she was soon swept away by a bright pink light.

Flowing from the room were soothing sounds and captivating lights, all originating from the sinful technology of humanity - speakers and screens - but it filled Neytiri with... joy. Pleasure! It was like listening to the song of the jungle, like watching the stars in the sky from the canopy. The moment the light washed over her, her eyes widened with surprise, locked on to the alluring pinkness of it all, and the subtle spirals swirling within it.

Neytiri sighed, feeling frustration and sickness and despair exiting her body all at once. Her shoulders went slack, tension leaving her back and muscles, guard dropping, as she slightly swayed on the spot to the holy hymn echoing from this room. This felt so right, so good. Perhaps this world was not as forsaken as she imagined. Perhaps there was still hope. Because, undoubtedly, she had found a conduit for the soul of Earth.

And it was beautiful! Gorgeous! Enthralling...

Guided on by the siren song and sights of the pink, Neytiri shuffled into the room, stuffing herself into a too-small chair. It was made of leather, something she should despise, but didn't have the capacity to understand such a thing right now. She sank into the chair, long legs dragging across the floor, until her head was at the perfect angle to look directly into the screen, and feel the overwhelming pink fill her mind with the soul of nature.

Neytiri sighed again and then giggled, unaware of the door slamming shut and sealing her in, Rob Daily standing outside the Pink Room, smiling and holding up one finger in victory.

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So, I don't like James Cameron's Blue People movies. I was debating including Neytiri in the alien girl line up, because the Na'vi design is genuinely good and has potential for eroticism, but then I figured I would be able to slander her and turn her into an angry, self-righteous bigot.

And now she'll get bimbofied. So, good news for everyone!