Back On the Porch

"This isn't possible!"

Dave shrugged as Walt poured over the evidence. "But the evidence doesn't lie, detective."

Walt slapped the photos down pointing. "But that ain't me! You know that! Hell, I admit there's a resemblance and all but I don't dress like that!"

Dave blinked and looked at the photo of the large cowboy type dressed in black and then at Walt. "You're shitting me, right? You're practically wearing the same thing right now."

"Noooo," Walt said drawing it out. "This get up and that hat are totally different!"

Dave blinked. "Seriously? That's your defense? This guy wears black and you don't? You telling me you don't have one black hat in this giant hillbilly mansion behind me that you couldn't put on when you wanted to play "black hat"?" He watched Walt frown and nodded. "That's what I thought."

Walt sighed. "Ok, granted that's weak. I get it but I don't look like that! Take a good look-"

"No," Dave said calmly. "You take a good look because I'll tell you what I see. I see you," he held up his hand to forestall Walters objection. "I see you looking like a somewhat younger man. You with some fashion sense."

"Ok, first of all... ouch," Walt squinted. "And secondly Are you sure? My chin ain't that big-"

Dave snorted. "It is and I bet that it's made of granite like yours is too." He smiled as he finished his drink. Walt had been so shaken up he'd finished the nasty stuff in the flask himself and gone to get a bottle of the good stuff and two glasses.

Walt frowned. "Then-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Dave said refilling their glasses. "Before you suggest illusion, disguise or some other possible explanation all this evidence corroborates that, that is you. Even the DNA matches. The same airtight system that you yourself setup."

"A clone," Walt said after a pregnant moment. "Someone made a clone somehow or more likely a character with an ability-"

"With the exact same fingerprints and retinas?" Dave asked shaking his head. "You know that clones and even identical twins have differing patterns and-"

"Mystique!" Walt said punching his fist into his hand. "She has perfect mimcry down to that level! I have one! She'd be able to-"

"According to the system this isn't a character and no tags, collars or markers of anykind were detected," Dave said shaking his head. "As far as all this evidence is concerned, that there is you. One hundred percent."

Walters frown deepened. "But I'm telling you that I didn't do this!"

Dave nodded sipping his drink and swallowed. "I know. I believe you." He sighed. "Why would you walk into RealDreams to rob your own protected case instances? You can access them whenever you want to. You're the only one authorized to do so. It's one of the things that keeps agents safe and protected and one of the perks of the job. Every agent has things they took and kept from their adventures. It's one of the perks! As long as it isn't a Character, doesn't negatively impact them or compromise the instance in the event of later use, the company looks the other way. Hell they encourage it! It's an awesome perk for those who risked their lives being first to explore and lead the way! Not all of us made it... and before you they had managed a near 100% K.I.A rate of fatalities... and it was still super dangerous after you showed how it was possible." He waved his hand at himself. "Shit still happens... the rate of fatalities and possible injuries is quite low but it's never zero."

"Sorry," Walt said frowning into his glass.

Dave shook his head. "It wasn't your fault. This," he gestured indicating himself. "This ain't your fault. That mission was... I'm going to be honest. It was fucked. Fucked from the start. There's a reason why we stay as far away from the truly bad horror instances as possible. Have specialized experts and super stringently follow your guidelines for them... and those are the cutesy baby evil stuff."

Walt nodded refilling their glasses. "Right... there's some really messed up instances and settings out there. Still I-"

Dave shook his head. "You weren't responsible. We all knew the risks. The odds on that one weren't good. I needed to earn favor for my "indiscretion". That's why I volunteered to join you on that one with the others."

Walt shook his head. "Yeah, but-"

Dave slammed his glass down but he was smiling. "No "buts". I owe you my life. You never turned back. Didn't even think once about leaving any of us behind... and you should have. We were your liability in there. Those... "things". They knew that. That's why we got as far as we did. They let us. Past the point of no return. Or it should have been. Would have been... but we had you. You... it..." Dave took a ragged breath. "Anyway... we learned a lot. Are you... going back in there?"

"No," Walt said. Not quickly, but very firmly. "Not if I don't have too. I... I doubt they dabbled with those... I hope not. I regret messing around with those instances."

Dave nodded. "Me too... look, I'm saying stop being hard on yourself. You did what you had too. You saved so many lives."

Walt sighed looking up at the stars. "Yeah... and took countless others."

Dave shook his head. "That was later and that was war. I... hate that you had to be the one to do that. It's... best not to think about it. Where were we?"

Walt smiled at David trying to change the subject and refilled his glass for him. "Booty... the treasure kind."

Dave smiled. "Right. You didn't get all this just on a very generous salary and your own company."

Walt shrugged. "Actually 3S and my own stake in RealDreams and other business ventures makes absolutely mind-boggling amounts of money... but you're right. A large part of the startup capital for those ventures was also what the company deems "treasure". A dragons hoard here, a shipment of treasure, an entire vault there... pretty soon it all adds up to some real money."

"Right," Dave said nodding. "Especially if someone visits as many instances and works as hard as you did and then turns around and smartly invests the lions share of it. And I bet you still have a hoard tucked away that'd make old Smaug's in Erebor look like a child's piggy bank, am I right?"

Walt shrugged. "Treasure ain't everything and neither is money."

Dave nodded but added, "Spoken like a man that has it, but I digress. It'd be stupid for you turn around and rob RealDreams for a quick buck even with that kind of access... and if it really were you, the person that knows the security and systems because he designed them, it would explain your ability to circumvent them... but not why you wouldn't just use that knowledge to disable them completely. It's stupid, greedy and sloppy if it was you... and that is how I know it wasn't you. But..."

He took a drink pausing to choose his words carefully. "Knowing that it isn't "you" yourself allows us to look at it from a different perspective. Using that lens to view it gives a different take of the picture entirely. It's smart, clever and cunning. Brilliant, really. Nearly the perfect crime. All traits that are very "you", Walt. Do you see what I'm saying?"

Walt nodded scowling. "This is bad."

Dave snorted. "No shit, Sherlock. Any ideas who or how?"

Walt shook his head. "Not off the top of my head, no. Someone had the perfect opportunity to fuck shit up using a doppelganger "me". A "perfect" one if what your evidence is telling me is to be believed." He shook his head. "Prime is very careful about cloning. It's highly regulated for a reason. Too many people abused it right off the bat in the stupidest and pettiest of ways. PWBI keeps tabs on anyone who dabbles in clones and cloning of any kind. Not as bad as unauthorized time and space manipulation but cloning and duplication is right below it. Fuck up and step out of line once and they get hit hard with the full weight of the PWBI and Prime law by the powers that be. Believe it."

"Right," Dave said. "That's why it's generally left to Characters. If they screw up, their owners can hang 'em out to dry for the law. Recieve a bad but lighter sentance, losing the character and ending up on a watch list. That's why cloning is generally only popular amongst narcissistic posers. You know a little about that."

Walt nodded. "Necromancy is on that list too with all the other obvious trouble things. A bit further down and generally seen as more "distasteful" but yeah... Big poser crowd. Use it right, bring people back, get answers or closure and be helpful, it's a good thing. But for every "decent", hard working and honest practioner out there, there's a hundred that go "too far"... and a thousand moody, posers that think just because they can talk to the deceased or animate a dead squirrel they're full fledged "dark wizard" edge lords. Seriously, it's sad. Kids these days." He shook his head. "Real necromancers are in your phone book and generally trying to help people say goodbye."

Dave raised an eyebrow. "So you're saying that you don't have a dark laboratory or some other sanctuary somewhere?"

Walt shut his mouth and sipped his drink quietly.

Dave snickered. "Uh huh. That's what I thought, "Edge lord". Who needs a wizards tower when they have a whole mountain?"

Walt glared at him... then smirked and raised his glass. "Touché."

Dave clicked his glass against Walt's. "Speaking of..."

Walt hummed thinking. "Hmmmm... No, I don't think necromancy is involved. Making a perfect clone like that is technically possible but again it'd throw up big flags and it'd take a powerful caster or some other force or agency and I... hmmmm..." he hummed again and started stroking his chin. "Well, I hope not. I wonder..."

Dave blinked. "You thought of something?"

Walt shrugged. "Not exactly... but there are possibilities no matter how unlikely. I'll have to start checking into them just so I can clearly and definitively rule them out." He sighed and leaned back in his chair again. "Which adds to my "to do" list." He idly looked inside his upturned hat on the table next to him hoping to find a little luck... but saw nothing as usual. "Well this sure fucking complicates things. How long do you think I got before everyone knows and gets in my business about this?"

Dave chuckled. "Longer than you think."

Walt shook his head catching on. "I can't ask you to do that for me."

Dave smiled and nodded. "I know... that's why I already did it. Nobody knows but myself or has a clue except for maybe one or two of your investigators. I'll sit and stall for as long as I can but..." he sighed. "The higher-ups will come poking around eventually. Luckily most of them aren't too concerned with the little picture. Still..."

Walt nodded. "Yeah. If and when they do it'll be a problem. I'll have PWBI up my ass. Well," he smirked. "They'll try anyway. So now there's a ticking clock to this slowly growing louder and louder until someone notices... and then everyone will notice and this thing blows up in my face. Boy howdy... I'm sure in a mess this time!"

Dave chuckled. "Yup but that's what you get for thinking you could semi-retire. You should've seen that coming! You're finaly slipping!"

Walt rolling his eyes but he smiled. "Gee, thanks. Why are all my friends smart asses?"

Dave grinned. "Birds of a feather..."

Walt chuckled standing and putting his hat on his head. "Flock together," he said passing Dave the bottle. "Yup. Let's get you off my damn porch, pain my ass."

Dave grinned as Walt started pushing his chair, gently guiding it and he snagged the bottle and glasses. "What? You gonna tuck me in too, chauffeur?"

Walt shook his head smiling heading for the door. "I reckon not. We got other things to discuss before you get too drunk. Time to get some coffee and the other two. You're my pain in the ass, after all."

Dave sighed. "Fine... Work, work, work!" They both chuckled jeading inside. "Seriously... I can't thank you enough for this, Walt."

Walt smiled. "No thanks, necessary. Besides I could say the same about what you're doing. No," he turned to shut the door and patted Dave's shoulder before guiding them towards the kitchen. "Chuck and the Gardner's, you 'n Harls and your bunch, even that pain in my ass, Rog... Y'all're my family."

Dave smiled. "Feelings mutual, bud... Oh, and speaking of was that a Mary Jane Watson and a Pepper Potts I spied along with several other young ladies, old man?!" He grinned.

Walt rolled his eyes but nodded, smiling. "Yup. It were. And I know what you're implying but I don't give a rats ass. They're one, in college and two, if they were triple their ages I'd still be old enough to be their grandpappies. I'm past giving a fuck."

Dave nodded too. "Good. I'm glad. Just making sure. That's how it should be."

Walt chuckled. "Ya know a couple X-Folks kinda said the same thing. Telling me anyone who didn't like it doesn't deserve the time of day as long as everyone was happy."

Dave nodded. "Well, it's the truth. Besides almost nobody cares about that shit on Prime much anymore. Got bigger things to worry about like which of their own bimbofied characters to fuck. Get with the times you fossil. You're finally moving on with your life. As Harls would say, "Anybody who don't like it can Gee-Tee-Eff-Oh!" And she ain't wrong."

Walt snorted, rolling his eyes but smiled, nodding as he patted his friends shoulder pushing him towards the kitchen. "Yep. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

[Walter Stark - Penny Polendina - F.R.I.D.A.Y - Neopolitan - Pyrrha Nikos - Nora Valkyrie - Yang Xiao Long - Blake Belladonna - Kali Belladonna - Sienna Khan - Willow Schnee - Glynda Goodwitch - Zwei - Ahnassi - Lifts-Her-Tail - Senko - Sayoko Shinozaki - Roberta Cisneros - Haruna - Sasha Blouse - Ilulu - Rachel "Raven" Roth - Manami "La Brava" Aiba - Tsuyu "Froppy" Asui - Haruhime Sanjouno - Anastasia "The Baroness" Cisarovna/DeCobray - Demona - Raven "Mystique" Darkhölme - Pirotess - Lydia - Aela the Huntress - Serana - Mission Vao - Curie - Ada - PAM - KL-E-O - Merida - Gwen "Gwenom" Stacy - Jubilation "Jubilee" Lee - Jennifer "She-Hulk" Walters - Linda T. Duck - Shocket Raccoon - Lady Loki - Elizabeth "Betty" Brant - Gloria "Glory" Grant - Mary Jane "MJ" Watson - Emma Frost and Virginia "Pepper" Potts

Will Return In

Harley and Penny

Coming Soon]