Comfort (Alexis PoV)

Arriving at Ezra’s place, I knocked and waited. My thoughts were all over the place, though I was worried about Natalie. She was having a hard time and was doing everything she could to carry that burden alone. I hoped that her trip with Thomas would help, but I knew those urges better than anyone. Maybe she would be okay since it was only a part of me, but knowing what she was up against had me worried.

Natalie aside, there was my problem. Jake and Chloe. The jealousy I felt when I saw them together was getting out of control. Jake had been a good friend for years and Chloe… She was something else. I’d only known her for a short time yet there was a connection there. It was powerful and made me feel things I shouldn’t. It scared me because the last thing I wanted was to get too involved with them. Not when I didn’t know if what I felt was because of the Natalie inside me, or if it was something I felt.

The door opened and my troubles were brushed aside by a feeling of familiarity. Victoria was in nothing but a hastily closed robe, looking flawless as always. The smile she gave me set me at ease as she stepped aside to welcome me inside.

“Sorry for barging in like this,” I said.

“You never need to be sorry,” she said. Wrapping me in a hug, our lips met briefly before she pulled away. “Something wrong? You seem off.”

I chuckled without an ounce of humor. “What isn’t wrong?”

Victoria was fully focused on me, a concerned hand on my shoulder. “I’ll put on some coffee.” She paused, glancing down at herself. “And some clothes.”

“I can wait until—”

“Nope. Ezra has things well in hand. My priority is you.”

She didn’t wait for me to respond as she headed for the kitchen. I followed after her and my attention turned to the bedroom where the door was open. Inside, Ezra was on his back. Atop him was a pretty Asian girl. She had her back to him, facing the doorway as her breasts bounced happily from the ****. She was panting and moaning as she slammed down with everything she had. Both of them saw me awkwardly staring at them through the opening. Ezra was all smiles, giving me a friendly wave while the other hand helped the woman keep her balance. She didn’t even slow down as we made eye contact. It was only for a moment as she focused her attention back on riding him.

“I’ll be a moment,” Victoria said as she stepped past me into the bedroom. Moving over to the two, she knelt beside the bed and gave Ezra a kiss. Before whispering something to him. His smile faded slightly before he gave her a serious nod. Sliding over to the girl, Victoria turned her head and the two shared a kiss. “Sorry for bailing mid-threesome.”

“It’s fine,” the girl said with a pant. “More to myself.”

“That’s the spirit,” she said with a laugh. “Promise to make it up to you next time.”

I stepped away as Victoria tossed on a quick outfit. The moans, groans, and other sexy noises faded when she stepped from the room and closed the door. I was envious how effortless her beauty came. Even with her haphazard hair and loose t-shirt and sweats, she looked ravishing.

“She’s new.”

“Hmm? Oh, her? Yeah. Ezra met her a few weeks ago we’ve been sharing her for about a week now.” She gave me a knowing smile. “Interested? I can wait for you to get a quick one—”

“I’m good.”

Her smile faded. “Well, that isn’t quite like the Alexis I know.” She moved to the kitchen and poured out two coffees. She mixed the creamer in and handed me a steaming mug.

Sighing, I settled onto the couch. She didn’t shy away, snuggling against me. “I haven’t been myself for some time now.”

Those beautiful eyes didn’t move as I began talking. I could have used my Gift to do this. It would have been faster. The idea of using it still scared me even though doctor Baker said I had nothing to fear. How could I not? So much chaos had come because of it.

So I told her everything. How my sex drive had shifted and I was turning down offers of sex left and right. That I had turned down an offer for a gangbang. How my Gift had fucked up both Natalie and me. I was the reason why Natalie was slowly self-destructing and I was terrified of where that was leading.

The coffee was cold and forgotten as her hands found mine, never looking away. The sounds from the room next door fell silent, then started up again, then went quiet once more. Still, I talked. I shared with her that I wished I could talk like this with Chloe, but was frightened that maybe our friendship wasn’t just a friendship. That maybe I didn’t want to be just friends with her. There was a connection there, and I felt terrible because I knew what Jake meant to her and the last thing I wanted to do was complicate things.

Then we got to Jake. My feelings for Jake weren’t what they used to be. I had been okay with his rejection because I knew that it would have never worked out. I knew that and while it was painful, I had every intention of keeping our friendship intact. Yet now all I could think about seeing him and Chloe together was that maybe we could have worked. Especially now since I... changed. The regret was crushing me. Regret that I might have missed out on the only opportunity to have something more than casual relationships.

The confusion of not knowing if any of these feelings were real, or just a fucked up echo of Natalie’s personality inside me. The pain that came from wanting them to be real. I wanted to believe I could feel these things, but a voice from deep inside knew that none of this was me.

For the first time in my life, I had never felt so completely and utterly alone. Adrift in a body that no longer felt like my own.

When I was finished, Victoria ran her hand over my jaw and pulled me in for a soft kiss. “Use your Gift,” she whispered.

“No way. Not after—”

“You aren’t going to hurt me,” she said as she leaned against me. I found myself falling back on the couch as she crawled over me. She stared at me for several seconds. “Please?”

I looked away but she **** me to look at her. Closing my eyes, I reached out and brushed her mind with mine. It opened immediately and pulled me in before I could pull away.

Victoria was there. I could feel her in my mind. See the whispers of her thoughts. I clung to her, vaguely aware of her kisses as she smothered me with her care and love. It wasn’t what I felt—or thought I felt—from Chloe. This was all Victoria. Different, but a love all its own.

So I lost myself in her love. As she touched my body, loved it, I felt it all from both her and my perspective. I wasn’t alone. Of course I wasn’t. Victoria was here. Ezra was here. They both cared about me just as much as I cared about them.

But even though I loved every touch, every thought shared, there was something missing. This might have been enough for the old Alexis, but I didn’t know if she even existed anymore. Victoria expertly got me to a shuddering mess of a woman, yet all I could think about was Jake and Chloe. How I wanted something forever out of reach.

Victoria lay atop me. We were both naked on the couch as my head rested between her breasts. I felt her kiss the top of my head as her fingers gently ran through my hair.

“Sorry I couldn’t help.”

“You helped plenty,” I said, closing my eyes. “I needed this.”

“I’ll always be here for you, Alexis. You know that. Ezra too.”

“I know. Thank you.”

Her arms wrapped around me and I expected her to bring up Chloe. She had to have seen her there in my mind. Practically all I thought about when I was with her; which now made me feel a bit guilty considering how loving Victoria had been.

“How about a girl’s night tomorrow? Just you and me.”

I sighed. “I don’t know…”

“Then how about staying with Ezra and me for the weekend?”

“What about the new girl?”

“Forget about her. You are always the priority.” Normally I’d jump on the offer. Either, really. Today though…? I felt drained and the mood just wasn’t there. “I’m not letting you go back to an empty apartment. That simply isn’t happening. So pick. We can either go out and score some hot boys to play with, or you can stay here and play with Ezra and me.”

Pulling away, I looked up at her. I knew that look. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

I let out a long breath, surrendering. “Maybe a girl’s night will get me back into the swing of things.”

“It’s settled then.”

Maybe this was what I needed to get back to the old me. The real me.

As I lay cuddled against Victoria, all I could think about was whether I wanted the real Alexis back in the first place.

And that scared me more than anything.