Preparing for a Date (Chloe PoV)

I was nervous. It felt like impending doom was hiding around the corner ready to bring everything crashing down. It had been a long time since I’ve had such a streak of happiness and I was wondering when life was going to kick the whole thing out from under me so it could laugh when I was down.

From the beginning, I knew Jake was different. I mean, he clearly had to have a screw loose if he was okay with dating someone like me. He even said as much, telling me he didn’t feel emotions. That was a hard thing to wrap my mind around, but it fit him. It wasn’t until recently that I realized what exactly that would entail—or how serious it was.

I’d always had this fear lurking in the back of my mind that there was some ulterior motive behind Jake’s actions. It wouldn’t be the first time someone tried to _‘date’ _me to get free access to my Gift. Usually they made the mistake of sampling the goods before trying to ask me out. Declaring their undying love for me didn’t hold much water when they were doing it blissed up with euphoric pleasure.

That wasn’t Jake though. He legitimately didn’t care that I was sleeping with other guys. I still didn’t know how I felt about that. Logically, it was pretty damn important. Our relationship would be impossible if he had an issue with that. Yet in a fucked up way, I kinda wanted him to be jealous. To have a little drive to sway me to his side and to seduce me away from my work. But he never did and it left me feeling awful, like I was some sort of parasite leeching off his kindness.

Then him telling me about his Gift and how he could see what I was feeling. It was a bit frightening knowing that my mind wasn’t the sanctuary I thought it was. It made me hesitate for a moment. If he could read my emotions, then couldn’t he manipulate me? This wasn’t like Adam’s Gift bullying people into liking him. In the right hands and some practice, knowing another person’s emotions could help sway them to whatever ends you wanted.

Again, not the Jake I knew. I didn’t believe it. We hadn’t known each other for that long, but in that time what I had learned was he was exactly as I had figured him to be and so much more. He was a genuinely caring guy. He just expressed it differently.

Yet all of that wasn’t the cause of my nervousness. It was something I hadn’t brought up, trying to keep it locked away in my mind. He told me he loved me. _Loved _me. Me. It scared me because I believe he meant it.

And just like that, this dream I’d been living in became reality.

The weight of his love was crushing. It terrified me because he was trusting me with something precious and I was… well… me. For the first time since I started down this path, I dared hope that I could be happy. That I could make someone else happy beyond a fleeting moment of pleasure and bliss. It was a feeling that was both liberating and terrifying because when I thought about it, really thought about it, I didn’t even know what it meant.

Could Jake even feel love? Horrible thing to even question, but he had made it clear he felt things differently. Following that thread…

If he couldn’t… why did he say that?

Fuck. I was being paranoid. Jake was Jake. He had never given me any reason to doubt him or his intentions. But a part of me realized how dangerous this was. In a short time, Jake had become a powerful pillar in my life. One of the few I had. If something were to happen, the results would be catastrophic.

****.

That was new to me. I had been with countless men, them paying to have me any way they wanted. Through all that, I never felt like I was ****. Used? Sure. Powerless? Never. Even Adam with his slimy Gift didn’t have the power over me he thought he had. There was a reason why he paid more than the others. He was one of the select few who paid the Asshole Tax. Oh, he thought by making me friendly and eager got him extra perks, but he paid for them. Mostly.

Bleh. Stop thinking about that. There were more important things to focus on.

With a deep breath, I checked myself in the mirror for the hundredth time. Makeup was perfect. I’d styled my hair up so I could show off my neck and shoulders. After a lot of debate, I’d decided on a simple black a-line dress that was a bit dangerous in terms of length—or lack of it. Between the length and open shoulders, there was a lot of skin showing. I was worried the effort might be wasted. He had warned me he doesn’t see things as other people did, but I hoped… I hoped that he would see me like when he picked me up for the charity event. Chloe the woman, not Chloe the school whore.

Damn nerves. The giddiness was getting to me as I checked my dress again. I spun around. Oh boy. I hope he wasn’t planning dancing or any other active events or this was going to be embarrassing. Maybe I should change into more tame panties, just in case.

Turning to the side, I examined my silhouette, running my hands down to smooth out the dress. I was proud of my body no doubt, but guys usually enjoyed something more than a small handful. I wondered what Jake liked. Oh god. I hope—

I was freaking myself out. Tonight would be fine. I looked amazing. I felt amazing. Tonight was going to be a good night. And at the end… Well, I was ready. More than ready. Was he? Anticipation sat heavy in my stomach. What if he didn’t want to? If he didn’t—

My phone chirped and I rushed over. He was here. Putting my phone in my purse I gave myself one last check. Deep breath. One more. I moved to the door.

The apartment was empty. Mom had picked up another shift. Guilt shot through me knowing how hard she was working to make ends meet. It was even worse since we moved here, all so I could go to this big fancy school. For the opportunity that I would end up in a better place than she did.

I could make her life so much better. Solve so many of the problems she was struggling to get us through. I had… a sickening amount of money stashed away. Enough to give her a moment to breathe. To enjoy life.

But I was a terrible person. My mother struggled because I was a coward. After all, how the fuck was I supposed to explain such a windfall? She thought I made some extra money helping tutor at school and other odd jobs. Enough to spot a few hundred in tough times, but nothing that would wipe away thousands in obligations and debt without batting an eye.

I was terrible because I would rather let my mom struggle and **** away than to confess what her precious daughter had become. That all her efforts and hard work had all amounted to me. A failure.

Stop. Jake was waiting.

Shit. His Gift. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts, Chloe.

I left Mom a note saying I was spending the night over at a friend’s house. Just in case…

I locked up and moved to the elevator. I tried to focus my thoughts on happy ones. Jake. Our date. What might happen tonight.

The moment the elevator doors closed and I was on my way down, all I could think about was Jake. The man who loves me. The one who made me feel safe. Accepted. He saw me better than anyone ever could, and he still wanted to be with me.

And there he was, his face as stoic as ever as he leaned against his car. The way he looked at me… was exactly the same as every other time he looked at me. I tamped down the disappointment. Right. He wasn’t going to magically change just because I put a little effort into things.

Yet I wouldn’t say my efforts were wasted. His eyes lingered places they normally didn’t. His eyes took their time running over me and I knew every second I’d spent getting ready had been well spent.

“You look stunning,” he said before kissing me. I melted into him and all my worries fell away as one thing filled my mind.

Tonight was going to be fun. I needed to have fun. Now that I was with Jake, I knew I would.