DAY 4

What the hell happened in the park? I thought to myself as I paced around my room compulsively. After calling my mom crying hysterically about what I had done, I was brought back home. Mom wasn't far away so it didn't take long for her to arrive. Apparently she was visiting Jessica at work just as I called her. On the way home, Mom asked me several times what was wrong with me, if someone or something had done something wrong to me so I could report it to the police. But I couldn't give her an answer that matched the reality of what I had experienced. How could I explain to her that the person who had done something indecent to me was me? I felt so dirty at this moment, so humiliated that I simply couldn't tell her the truth.

I simply told her that I had an emotional outburst in the park and gave no further explanation. Mom was obviously not satisfied with that explanation, but decided not to probe any further. After arriving home, I ran to my room and locked myself in. I didn't want anyone to see me. I felt persecuted. I lay in my bed covered by the sheets for a long time trying to disappear from the world with all my strength, but reality is not so kind as to fulfill my wish. I could finally digest and fully realize what I had done.

I couldn't understand why I had done it. No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't come to a conclusion. Anxiety began to invade me so as a way to release it I walked mindlessly back and forth across my room. I felt like I could leave my steps marked on the concrete floor if this continued. The problem is that my mind can't connect why I did what I did. Everything at that moment felt so natural.... The things I did at that moment seemed to make all the sense in the world, they were thoughts that felt rational and coherent. BUT OBVIOUSLY THEY WERE NOT RATIONAL AND COHERENT AT ALL.

I held my head while I tried to find an answer as to why I had done it, but no matter how much I thought about it, there was no logical answer. But I had confirmed something after this experience. Something was going on in my home without me being aware of it.

The constant glitches in my memory and the memories that felt false, the constant feeling of being watched, and the obvious changes in Jessica and especially in my mother could no longer be hidden. But they don't seem aware of their changes or don't seem to care....

AAAHHHHH, I don't know what the hell is going on. I feel like I'm going crazy, I need someone to give me an opinion....

I went to my phone and quickly looked up Lily's number and called her. Lily answered after what seemed like forever.

"Hello?"

"Lily can we meet tomorrow?" I asked interrupting her in a somewhat hurried manner.

"Girl, first say Hello at least." Lily replied half in laughter half and in reprimand.

"Oh... sorry Lily, it's just that something too horrible happened to me today and I can't take it anymore... I need to get out of the house and talk to you." I replied like a machine gun.

There was a few seconds of silence on the line. "I can see it's serious. Calm down girl, I'm here for you. Where do you want to meet? Do you want me to come to your house?”

After a brief moment of silence on the line I answered. “Downtown mall tomorrow after noon is that ok with you?”

"Ok Veronica. We will meet there tomorrow so you can tell me what the hell is going on." This time this whole thing was quite serious. It was relieving that she didn't question me over the phone about what was going on. My mind is not in the best place to explain it.

"Thanks Lily. You're the best." I was relieved to have such a good friend.

"I know girl, I take care of you." With those words I hung up the phone.

I lay back down on my bed and closed my eyes tightly. In my mind, I kept repeating the phrase "Tomorrow everything will be better" in a loop until sleepiness got the better of me.

* * *

It was past noon and I was sitting at a table in the food court of the mall waiting for Lily who was oddly running late. It was rare for her to be late for an appointment, but she had sent me a text a few minutes ago saying that there was traffic on her side, that she was close and that she might be a little late. As I waited for Lily to arrive, I calmly reflected on the whole situation, even though lately everything around me has been extremely strange. Today had passed normally, even though my mom was still wearing clothes that I thought were a bit extravagant. Something in the vibe she gave me had changed. Less provocative and much more maternal. The same was true for Jessica even though I didn't talk to her as much because she had to go to work.

Mom had tried to address what happened to me yesterday but I simply told her I wasn't ready. Even though Mom seemed to be "back" if that makes sense, I still felt it wasn't good to tell her what had happened. Partly out of embarrassment, partly out of mistrust.

I told her that I would meet Lily today and that she didn't have to worry about anything. She offered me a ride but I turned her down and paid for a cab to come.

I had been a little traumatized by yesterday's event. So today I decided to wear a hoddie and baggy pants as well as sports bras to avoid any insidents. And even though I usually go out with my phone, today I decided to bring a bag with a change of underwear.

After a while, I started to worry. It had already been 20 minutes since Lily texted me. I knew it was just paranoia on my part, I'm not usually this controlling with my timing but it seems weird to me already.

However, as if mocking my worries, Lily arrived, with her light brown hair tied back and her beautiful light mocha colored skin stood out at a glance. She was eating a vanilla ice cream very calmly. She seemed to have made a stop before coming. It was weird coming from her, usually when we meet in a public place we both eat together. Lily has always preferred it that way. Also the way she was dressed was a little strange. It was definitely Lily's style, but the way she was wearing it was a little unusual for her. It was a crop top too small, made of a somewhat transparent shirt fabric, she only had the top button fastened and a simple plaid skirt. Maybe I was just paranoid, though.

Our gazes met and she waved gently with the hand that held the small plastic spoon. She made her way to my table at a slow pace, amidst the bustle of the place I could make out the tap sound of her boot hitting the tiles, the sound grew louder as she approached. I stood up to greet her, we both extended our arms and I gave her a big hug. Lily's arms didn't close all the way because she was holding her ice cream, so it was an uncomfortable position. I felt like I hadn't seen her in forever.

"It's good to see you girl, you look good." She said as we moved apart to take a seat. Her sweet, empathetic tone reminded me of who Lily is.

With a tired sigh I replied "Only on the outside. I'm a mess on the inside." She kept her gaze locked on me as she scooped up a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth, as she raised one of her eyebrows rose.

With her mouth half full she said, "Tell me about it.”

I proceeded to tell her about all the strangeness I had been experiencing in my house. Lily interrupted me saying that we had already had this conversation and this time I made it clear that it was not normal. I told her about how I had been having problems with my memories, the strange movements of my family and... I told her about everything I did yesterday.

Lily sat staring at the now empty ice cream pot after I told her everything. After her original interruption she didn't interrupt me again and concentrated on listening. Lily didn't judge me and instead seemed to be pondering what words to say to me. I could feel my shoulders a touch lighter. Maybe I wouldn't come to a conclusion today but being able to tell someone about this was liberating.

After some silence between the two of us, Lily opened her mouth. I waited expectantly for what Lily would say to me, however what came out of her mouth left me dismayed.

"Did you enjoy it?" said Lily with a mischievous tone. I could feel my face turn into a giant question mark. lily wasn't the type to make offhand jokes, so I asked nervously.

"W-what do you mean?" But as if stepping on my expectations Lily continued.

"Did you enjoy it Veronica? Did you enjoy being naked in the open air? How the cold water cooled your hot pussy?" Lily said those words as a big smile spread across her face. By this time I didn't feel anger at her words, only bewilderment. The Lily I know was not a person capable of saying those words...the Lily I know. A bolt of lightning flashed through me with a strange and sinister premonition.

With doubt and a trembling voice I said, "Y-you're…..you're not Lily...W-who are you?!"

The smile on Lily's face deepened. Her overall vibe changed. Although at first glance she was still the Lily I knew, her vibe felt more similar to the one my mother imitated. Lily simply replied "Ohhh you noticed?" My mind was in chaos. Was this some kind of sick joke? Maybe it was all a very well done hidden camera. But before I could raise my doubts Lily spoke again.

"I don't think we've introduced ourselves, Veronica, but you're right, I'm not Lily. I'm the cause of everything that's happening to you."

When I heard that my hands started to shake.

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