Unforeseen variables

Deep within the rec center’s concrete halls, Nia and I found ourselves sitting on the sidelines of Gymnasium Two; “Little Sister”, as it was — somewhat patronizingly — dubbed for both its smaller size and hosting a majority of the women’s sports events. We leaned against the collapsible bleachers along the court’s perimeter, watching the girls practice as we waited for them to take a break. New and familiar faces weaved together as the team went through their drills. The echoes of their squeaking shoes and urgent call-outs bounced off the walls, creating an atmosphere that felt full despite the gym’s low occupancy.

Nia: You sure we’re not bugging them sitting around like this?

Emery: Yeah, they would have told us to leave already if they didn’t want any spectators.

Nia: Fair enough, I guess…

Nia rested her chin in her palm and sighed.

Nia: What gives? I thought this would be a good way to see what’s up with Rina, but they’re a lot busier than I expected. We’re still pretty early in the semester.

Emery: You’d be surprised. I believe the season starts in November, but they’re probably trying to get a head start on things. There are less people here than usual though.

Nia: Yeah there’s like a dozen-ish people on a team, right? I kinda figured at least one of them would be open to talk or somethin’.

Emery: Well in actual games it’s five people active at a time, with the other seven or so subbing in and out as needed, but during practice they often have a five-on-five with the team captain, coach, and leftover person chiming in. Sometimes they switch it up and do one-on-ones or twooo...

I tapered off, Nia’s upturned brow and progressively growing smirk leaving little room to continue.

Nia: So you’re saying my plan’s shit then?

Emery: Nooo, but I’m just saying it’s not the same as your singles training. There wasn’t really a guarantee anybody would’ve been open. I mean, I see what you were going for; Rina’s not here, so it stands to reason someone may have been available for a short chat. In reality though, they’ll just adjust their plans to account for the missing people. The swim team operates differently, so I understand where the disconnect might have occurred.

Nia poked my side, her telltale pout returning once more. She theatrically shoved her face into my chest, dragging her head down as she clutched my shoulders.

Nia: That’s a very roundabout way to say my plan was shit. You coulda said something before we came here if you hated my idea so much.

She stuck her tongue out as she finished. I rolled my eyes at her antics, deciding to go along with it rather than play the straight man.

Emery: Alright, you caught me. That is exactly what I was thinking all along. It was a bad plan and I knew that from the get go, but went along with it anyway. Now it’s too awkward to just walk out of here. Happy?

She huffed cartoonishly, acting as though she’d been betrayed grievously. Her muffled voice vibrated my chest as she snuggled close, filling me with a comfortable buzz.

Nia: You’re such an asshoooole. Deep down I knew you felt that way!

Emery: Always have, darling.

Nia: Fuck you too. Stop stealing my mean girl bit.

Emery: You’re the one baiting me to.

We laughed together, trying to stay quiet so we didn’t distract anybody.

Although we were just joking around, I did feel slightly bad. I hadn’t meant to make her suggestion sound stupid. Coming here and asking the girls if they’d spoken with Rina was a good idea on paper. In the best case scenario, they’d know exactly what was going on, while the worst would make for a good pretense to visit Rina without coming across as being overly involved. I didn’t say anything because I did not want to keep poking holes in her suggestions just because I could. At least she’d had an actionable gameplan, which was far better than my approach. Or rather, as was the case in this instance, my meaningful lack thereof.

Still, I couldn’t feel too guilty when she was playing it off in this way.

Emery: Hehehe, you’re feeling really prickly today huh?

Nia: I’m just always in awe of your ability to go on a nerdy rant about anything.

We giggled some more at her teasing. Although she’d been digging into me more and more since she was given carte blanche last Sunday, I really didn’t mind. Even when it wasn’t sexually oriented, I tended to enjoy Nia’s ribbings.

Emery: Oh really? You didn’t seem to mind when you were asking about astronomy.

Nia: Call me a hypocrite then, hehehe.

Nia leaned farther into me, cocking her head between mine and my shoulder.

Nia: But fine, mayyybe I’m also blowing off some steam. Just feelin’ a lil edgy today, y’know?

Emery: Are you annoyed at me, or at Rina? Or is it just in general.

Nia: Little of column B, little of column C. Don’t get too comfortable though, mister, or you’ll get caught in the crossfire.

Emery: I haven’t already?

Nia: Pfft, you ain’t seen nothin’.

Emery: I’ll make sure to watch myself then, haha.

…

Emery: But don’t go too hard on Rina, alright? We don’t know for sure what’s going on yet.

Logically I wasn’t worried about Nia blowing up at her, but my gut warned to be mindful of circumstance; that many arguments between people have started with good intentions was not lost on me. Because I knew Nia cared for us as much as she did, I wanted to make sure she stayed grounded.

Before Nia could respond, the coaching whistle cut sharply through the din of the gym, stopping our conversation in its tracks.

The team all dropped what they were doing and met with their coach — a quixotic older man named Ryan — huddling together and presumably discussing how everything had gone. Soon after, they all broke off in different directions; some veering off to the locker rooms while others sat to take a breather.

From the fragments of the group, one duo headed towards us. The far taller one gingerly waved her hand as they approached, a gesture we returned in kind. Her quiet voice barely carried across the space between us as she spoke.

Clara: Hi you two, it’s been a while.

Clara was one of the team’s most senior members, as well as a good acquaintance of ours. Like us, she was also a fourth year here, and had been on the team since she was a freshman.

Nia: Hey Clara, it really has been. Good to see you again!

Emery: How have you been?

Clara: Oh, you know, start of the year is always a little scary for me, but I’m doing okay. It’s mostly just practice and more practice.

Emery: I saw, you guys were doing well! Are you adjusting to Power Forward well enough? I know you preferred playing Center.

Clara: Eheh, it’s going. It’s hard to replace Ellie, but I think I’m getting the hang of it. I’m grateful to everybody for being patient with me.

Clara sat down beside us, before scooching farther away as she got comfortable.

Clara: Sorry, I probably…um, kinda…smell.

Nia: Hah, girl please, like me and Em don’t play sports too. You smell fine, so don’t worry about it. That’s just how this ish is.

Clara: I know, but…well, still…

She toyed nervously with the hem of her shorts as she stuttered out her reply.

Despite her prodigious height and relatively thick build, or perhaps because of them, Clara was a very reserved girl. She never raised her voice off the court, nor joined a conversation if she didn’t have anything to add; I don’t think I'd ever have seen her at a school function either if her friends didn’t drag her along. She, far more than myself, was the kind of person who lived in her own private world. I highly doubt we would’ve even spoken had we not been reading the same book for extracurriculars.

Still, we got along nicely. Since we all enjoyed similar hobbies, we had plenty to talk about when she was willing to share her opinions. It’s not as though she was completely unsociable either, she had other people she was close with.

Saanvi: Remember to relax your shoulders, Clara. We talked about this. Your muscles will strain if you always tense up after practice.

And speaking of, the closest of Clara’s friends finally stepped in from behind her, having momentarily trailed back to discuss something with Ryan. Saanvi rubbed the taller girl’s neck in a firm, comforting manner as she spoke.

Clara: Ah, that’s right, sorry. I’ll try to do that.

Saanvi: No, I apologize for mothering you too much. I just want you to watch your health.

Clara: N-no Vivi, I mean, I asked you to bug me about it. I should be the one apologizing, I’m relying on you for stuff I can do myself!

Saanvi: Nonsense, you know I…we can discuss this another time Clara, we’re being rude to our guests.

She turned towards us, a contrite, but businesslike smile spreading her lips.

Saanvi: Emery. Nia. As always, a pleasure to see you both again. Sorry to ignore you, I am not at my best today.

Nia: No biggie, we know how that feels, hehe. Huh Em?

Emery: Yeup. Our whole last week was a blur, hahaha. I’m sure yours was too.

Saanvi: It was indeed…

Nia: Well then howsabout you take a load off for a sec? You guys were workin’ hard!

Nia patted the floor in front of her, gesturing for Saanvi to join us on the floor.

Saanvi: I will stand, if it is all the same to you. Not to spurn the invitation, but I try not to relax while I still have responsibilities.

Saanvi squinted, pinching the bridge of her nose as she looked toward the ground.

Saanvi: On that note, Emery, has Ryan invited you here under less than ideal circumstances again?

Emery: Thankfully no, haha! I’m here for personal reasons. If he’s fallen behind with the financial department again then I don’t think I can bail him out this time!

She sighed heavily at my answer, hand held tightly over her heart.

Saanvi: Oh, thank goodness…I cannot tell you how relieved I am to hear that. It would be just my luck for karma to catch up with him in my final season.

I felt for Saanvi’s predicament. Apart from being Clara’s childhood friend and a longtime member of the team, she also was their captain; a role that came with some very unreasonable demands. Between their lack of an official coach’s aid and Ryan’s flights of fancy, it was down to her to keep things grounded properly.

Nia: Aw Saanvi, don’t get too down. Sure Ryan is a pain sometimes, but you’re awesome! If anyone here can pull the team together, it’s you.

A less put-on smile shined through Saanvi’s crafted visage with the help of Nia’s praise.

Saanvi: Thank you, Nia. I very much appreciate that.

Nia: Enough to finally let me call you “Vivi” too?

Saanvi: No.

Nia: Booo.

Emery: You know how she is about that kinda stuff hun, it’s nothing personal.

Nia: I know I know, it's like a little joke between us. I try to get her to let me call her “Vivi”, she says no; it’s a whole thing. She's cool with it. Or, well, it was cool last time it came up. Izzat still the case, Saanvi? I don’t want to actually piss you off by prodding or nothing.

Saanvi: I do not mind your asking, but I will refuse every time as usual. It does not “piss me off”, it’s just how I am. I prefer to keep pet names to a minimum. Indulging Clara is something I do mostly out of nostalgia.

Nia: I swear you smiled last time I did it! You were totally warming up to it before break!

Saanvi: That was merely your imagination.

Nia: Nu-uh bro, you can’t pull the wool over on me!

I laughed internally at their lighthearted quibbling. Saanvi really was a rather straightlaced, conservative person; the type who presented herself as dry, responsible, and serious in most circumstances. That didn’t necessarily mean she was opposed to fun or being more affectionate, as the interaction before me illustrated so plainly, she simply reserved that side of herself for rare occasions. I’d glimpsed it firsthand, her passion flaring the brightest during their highlight matches. She might have been stiff — or had "a stick up her ass", as Nia sometimes put it — but when all was said and done, Saanvi really cared. Out of everyone on the team, she always laughed and cried the hardest at their end-of-season get-togethers.

Saanvi: Getting back on track…if you two aren’t here to clean u-...to help coach Ryan, then why did you join us today? I assume it was not to watch us work up a sweat.

Clara: I was curious about that too. It’s been a while since we’ve seen you Em, and even longer for you, Nia.

Nia: We had a bit of a decompression summer. Just chilled since Junior year was so damn crazy and all, hehe.

Emery: Yeah, more or less what she said.

Saanvi: I see. And you said your visit here was personal, correct?

Emery: Yeah, or interpersonal, so to speak. We were checking to see if you knew how Rina is doing. We haven’t heard much from her in a few days and figured you guys might know what’s up.

The two had a less than ideal response to my question. Saanvi’s smile hollowed at the mention of Rina, falling back into the paper thin facsimile it had been before. Clara, meanwhile, blanched, and looked up at Saanvi in a way that screamed unease.

Saanvi: …A reasonable assumption, in theory…unfortunately, I know very little. She texted coach Ryan on Monday saying she fell ill, and has not deigned to speak with us since. Sorry to disappoint, but that is the breadth of my understanding at this time.

Nia and I looked at each other, confused by the change in the air.

Nia: No need to be sorry, dude. S’just, well, you know how she is when she gets sick. We were worried about her being less responsive than usual, you feel me?

Saanvi: Yes, I suppose she was like that.

She left it there, causing the conversation’s mood to dip even further.

Ice filled my stomach at Saanvi’s one-eighty, at her sheer dismissiveness. She always had a degree of removal in her conversations, no doubt, but something was wrong here. She and Rina had been on the same team for the last three years. Sure their personalities clashed, but they were friends at the end of the day. They cared for each other. Why was Saanvi treating Rina like an inconvenience now — like someone she didn’t want to think about if she didn’t have to?

Clara: Um…! I-I’m sure she’s fine. She just moved out of the dorm, so life’s probably hectic… If you want to check on her, we…um, we’d really appreciate it. I don’t know her new address, b-but I’m sure Ryan does.

Nia: …Nah, it’s all good. We know where she lives, so we’ll get out of your hair.

Saanvi’s eyes zeroed in on Nia, narrowing with terrible intrigue as she spoke.

Saanvi: Really? Now that’s interesting. She hasn’t told any of us her new location, in spite of our asking. It sounds like you’re the ones in the know here. How comedic you bothered coming to us for help.

Nia froze at the venom lacing Saanvi’s tone, lost on how to de-escalate this uncharacteristic outburst of hostility. I stepped between them, hoping to aim whatever was happening at me rather than her.

Emery: Rina and I share a class this year, so naturally the move came up. More importantly, Saanvi, why are you acting like this? Did something happen between you two?

Her fake smile shattered, unable to withstand the **** of her scowl any longer.

Saanvi: “Did something happen?” As if you don't know about Mich! I thought you better than this, Emery. Why are you kicking me when I’m down!?

Clara’s hand laid against Saanvi’s forearm, causing her to flinch defensively. She peered down at her friend, eyes wide and lips still curled in anger.

Clara: Saanvi…we talked about this…

Saanvi stared at Clara before slowly looking our way, visibly deflating as she did so.

The three of us could only watch as she then abruptly turned to walk away. As quickly as she’d taken her second step, however, Saanvi stopped in place. She stayed that way for a moment; her fists remained clenched, but she was otherwise completely still. After several more very, very awkward seconds of unbroken silence, she turned back around.

Saanvi’s stoic composure had not returned, but neither had her rage. In their place was the face of someone barely holding herself together — shaken in that embarrassing, human way that came only when you lost control of yourself.

Saanvi: I…that…that was…incredibly…inexcusably rude of me. I cannot apologize enough for how I behaved just now… I promise that will never happen again.

Her body shook, but she did her best to power through it.

Saanvi: It makes me…happy…to know Rina is still getting along well with you two. Please keep an eye on her…and let us know how she is, alright? She…

She trailed off, leaving her sentence unfinished before once more turning and marching off. Saanvi did not stop this time, each step coming faster until she was swallowed by the locker room entryway.

Nobody said anything for a moment, until Clara unexpectedly broke the silence.

Clara: …Um, I-I’m sorry she acted like that, her and Rina still haven’t…never mind. If you guys really don’t know what’s going on, then I’m not the one to hear it from. Please don’t be too mad at Vivi, she isn’t back to her old self yet.

She started jogging off, only turning back to briefly finish her thought.

Clara: I’m gonna, uh, go see if she’s okay, you should…go do the same for Rina, I think. A-and don’t tell her this happened, okay? Please? Just tell her we miss her, and we hope she gets better soon.

Then, with no further room for discussion granted, Clara was gone. Nia and I stood in the empty gym, bewildered by how things had soured so quickly.