Recharge and help

"There's no way we'll get away with stealing anything without getting caught." Kyle said, shaking his head.

"And trust me, Lilith is not somebody you want to be more than three seconds around!" Lucy commented, "Seriously, she was my girlfriend for about twenty minutes before I called it quits."

"Because she was so annoying?"

"Because she was so annoying and aggressive!" Lucy replied, "I mean, it's no wonder that my dad decided to take out another of his little sea monkey's ribs to make Eve! I couldn't even bother entertaining the idea of giving my virginity to such a complete -"

Lucy's entire body turned redder than those silly cartoon parodies of her as she realized what she accidently just admitted, slapping her hands over her mouth.

"Wait... You're... The Devil's a virgin?!" Kyle asked in shock.

"N-no! I'm not a - No!" Lucy stammered out, "I... I slept with hundreds - thousands of men and women before! I... I have entire armies of succubi an inccubi who service me around the - ALRIGHT FINE! Yes. I'm a virgin! Are you happy now?!"

"... That explains a lot and yet so little."

"Shut up!" Lucy said as she shoved Kyle. "So, stealing is out of the question, and Lilith will just make things worse. That just leaves the recharging ritual."

"And, apart from streaking the city, what does this ritual entail?" Kyle asked.

"Not much." Lucy said with shrug, "We just need to swing by the businesses of six of my friends, borrow their amulets, and then find a place in the city that gives off the most spiritual energy. Any questions... In regards to what I just said? I know you have several more questions than that."

"Just three." Kyle replied, "One, your 'friends'?"

"Yeah, the other six demon lords of Hell." Lucy explained, "Beelzebub, Asmodeus, Leviathan, Belphegor, Mammon, and Satan."

"Beelzebub and Satan aren't you?" Kyle asked in confusion.

"No, and I have no idea why you humans keeping thinking that."

"Two, what pendants?"

"The amulets that stands for the seven sins we gave humanity... Which, we all agreed in retrospect, was a stupid idea on our part after seeing how messed up the world is now, so... Sorry." Lucy apologized as she reached into her handbag and pulled out a bright green amulet with a "P" engraved on it. "We've already got mine, Pride. Now we just need those from the other girls. Bee has Gluttony, Ozzie has Lust, Levi has Envy, Belle has Sloth, Mammon has Greed, and Satan has Wrath."

"And finally, what exactly are we going to be doing at this ritual? Sacrificing a goat?"

"Why does everyone think that somehow appeases me? I love goats!" Lucy muttered, shaking her head. She then blushed a bit as she said, "No. You'll know what it is when it's time. Now, let's get a move on! Belle's place of business is nearby."

"Hello?!" Grant called into the radio as Hailey searched through the alley for anything she could use as a makeshift shirt or pants. "Are there any other hunters in the area? We require -"

"Well, well, well. Look who's calling for help." A smug female voice said over the other end.

"Ugh! Hello, Roxie." Grant groaned in annoyance.

"Shoot! Is that Grant on that there radio?!" A dopey sounding male voice said with an excited southern drawl. "Is Hailey there too?! Tell her Ah said hi!"

"Hi, Buddy!" Hailey replied as she held up a cardboard box, blushing slightly as she giggled.

"Come on, Roxie! Tell Pretty Ms. Hailey that Ah -"

"SHE HEARD YOU, YOU FAT BEVERLY HILLBILLIES REJECT! NOW GET OFF ME!" Roxie yelled over the radio before clearing her throat. "Now then, what can I do for 'The greatest Demon Hunter in the organization'?"

"You can shut your mouth for one..."

"Aww, is someone still sour over the fact I smoked his ass in wiping out those poltergeists in that hotel? Or maybe it has something to do with the fact I slept with both your sister, your ex-girlfriend, and your two ex-wives at the exact same time?"

"Look! As much as it pains me to say it, Hailey and I need you and Buddy to help us." Grant snapped, trying not to let Roxie get under his skin.

"Gosh! Pretty Ms. Hailey needs mah help?!" Buddy exclaimed, "We'll be over there faster than a six legged jackrabbit on a greased griddle in the dead of July -"

"One more word out of you, you discount Larry the Cable Guy, and I will personally stick an apple in your mouth, cover you in barbecue sauce, and feed you to the first pack of werewolves we find!" Roxie snapped angrily at her partner before clearing her throat. "And why should we lift a finger to help you two?"

"Well for one, Hailey's not wearing any pants..."

"Grant!" Hailey whined in embarrassment, "Not while Buddy's listening!"

"What in tarnation happened to Pretty Ms. Hailey's britches?!" Buddy asked, a mixture of concern and excitement in his voice.

"I'm getting to that!" Grant snapped, "Our target got away and burned up Hailey's clothes and most of our equipment!"

"GRANT!" Hailey whined as she pulled the cardboard box over her lower half, her face redder than a tomato as her partner was intentionally embarrassing her while the cute and chunky male partner of Grant's rival was listening in.

"Pretty Ms. Hailey's naked as a jaybird?!" Buddy asked, the excited concern still in his voice.

"Wait, wait! That equipment is nearly indestructible." Roxie said, her curiosity now piqued. "What the hell are you two hunting?!"

"Anything I should know about this Belle?" Kyle asked as he and Lucy hid behind another dumpster, having trekked through the alleys for half an hour.

"Well, being the Lord of Sloth, Belphegor really doesn't have much energy to put up an argument." Lucy replied, "Or anything really. There have been times where we accidentally buried her alive because we thought she was dead! Very slow talker and mover, too. In fact, just imagine an actual sloth in a human body, and that's her."

"So she's friendly?"

"I never said that." Lucy said, shaking her head. "She's just too slow and lazy to do anything if you do something to get on her bad side."

"Okay, so what kind of business does she run up here?" Kyle asked as he peeked around the side of the dumpster... His eyes going wide at the building they were across the street from. "She works there?!"

"And you're absolutely sure that she was the actual Devil?!" Roxie asked Grant after she and Buddy had arrived near the alley where Grant and Hailey were hiding.

"Why do you think Hailey's wearing my shirt and a freaking box?" Grant asked sarcastically, "The Devil barbecued her clothes!"

"Shoot! Ah kinda wish Ah had been there. Betcha looked prettier than a picture, Pretty Ms. Hailey." Buddy said with a smile to the woman.

Hailey stared at the chunky hillbilly with a beer belly while blushing scarlet, but she couldn't help but smile shyly at Buddy's compliment. "Thank you, Buddy..."

"There's something else." Grant said, "Hailey and I found her with a young man around twenty-three. We - or rather, I think she might be trying to seduce him to bring in The Anti-Christ."

"So, we have a small truce for the catch of a lifetime and a rescue mission, huh?" Roxie asked. She smirked smugly as she said, "I want seventy percent of the profits."

"WHAT?! No way in hell!" Grant snapped. "You and the overinflated Jeff Foxworthy doll get fifteen percent!"

"Seventy-five."

"Ten!"

"Eighty."

"You're going the wrong way, Bitch!"

"Well, you're gonna have access to our equipment, so..."

"Fifty-fifty!" Both shouted simultaneously as they shook on it.

"Now come on! We got a Devil to slay!" Roxie exclaimed.

"Um, my box isn't gonna fit in any of the cars." Hailey said in embarrassment.

"Shoot, Pretty Ms. Hailey! Ya'll can borrow my britches." Buddy offered as he began to take off his overalls, Hailey smiling in a mixture of gratefulness and arousal.

"Keep your pants on, Hee Haw!" Grant and Roxie shouted.